What Did I Do Wrong with This Guy??

[Wakeup]

That is just bs. So, what, a guy should get to treat a girl however cruelly he likes and she should not only accept it as "just negging," but if he then makes a move on her, she has to just acquiesce because she's been "friendly"??

No.. Who TF said she should just accept it? Who said she should let him have his way because she's been friendly? Read before you come with guns blazing. What she should do is stop trying to be friendly with douches that treat her badly. If she had not kept trying to be friendly he would have got the ****ing clue that she wasn't interested in someone (who she percieved to be) cruel. People pleasers try to be friendly and make friends with people who have been cruel to them.

And she's not innocent... she disrespected her friend. I'd have her ass for being so presumptuous and pretentous had she offered me up like that. I've based my opinion on what she's said only and how she would feel (how any woman would feel if she were being offered up for sex).. I've not based it on anything else.

Learn to settle down and don't put words in my mouth thank you very much. I think most of you have forgotten that both her friends and his are upset with her for causeing drama... Seems strange that if he's as bad as you all are trying paint him, then not everyone would be accusing her of causing drama .. Just my opinion.

Her question:

What Did I Do Wrong with This Guy??

Read my posts... That is what SHE did wrong.

[VincenzoG91]

LOL, this guy would be laughing his ass off if he knew how bad he got you. Upset enough to post on a forum about him, no less.

He's a jerk. A turd. Do you agonize about your dumps every time you flush? This isn't about you at all. You are fine.

BTW, you might want to google 'PUA technique' and get educated. Insulting you and then making a move on you is a standard technique for players. Its actually attractive to a subset of insecure females. What you did was prove you weren't one of them, so he immediately lost interest (getting offended is the last-ditch attempt to draw you in--some useless women will actually apologize and let the guy **** them).

Laugh this chode off and spend your energy looking out for a nice young man. They are out there.

My best friend has pestered me for years about reading this stupid book on how to pick up women, and that's one of the techniques that he keeps talking about from it. Ironically, it doesn't work for him because he isn't aggressive enough to insult anybody. And I refuse to read any stupid book that advises me to pick up women by acting like an a-hole. I've always been more interested in the long-term relationship, and I don't want a long-term relationship based on acting like an a-hole.

[kevinstacy]

This guy just was trying to show his strong alpha male side by insulting you and figured that it turned you on and you would be easy for him.. You didn't do anything wrong you did everything right including saying if you need an easy piece of ass I can introduce you to my friend... awesome... Screw this guy.

[tremolo]

I've researched the whole PUA thing thoroughly and it's basically just for men who want to screw a lot of insecure beautiful women. I would actually advise any pretty girl to read up on that crap so you'll know it when you see it and you can find clever ways to make the guy feel stupid. Once they pull a standard neg, I personally enjoy anticipating their next 5 moves and then coaching them as to how they can sarge better.

[Wakeup]

I've read both David D'Angelo and Mistry and I too suggest that all woman read what these guys are teaching men. The thing is that it usually works on most woman. These authors know the psycology of women.

It's just the insecure and low of self worth that stick around to be mistreated. They teach nothing about being in and maintaining successful long term relationships.

Anyway... OP did a shitty thing by thowing her girlfriend at this guy. It wasn't her place and obviously everyone who she knows thought so and that's what is important to her, what her freinds think, not what we have to say.. (even if agree with her helps her ego) we have no influence over what her friends think of her and it's them that gave her the hard time for her actions.

OP: Apologize to your friend for being her pimp but forget anything more about the guy. Learn to tell guys you're not interested without offering up another in your stead... PERIOD.

you did everything right including saying if you need an easy piece of ass I can introduce you to my friend... awesome... Screw this guy.

No, don't screw this guy and have more respect for your friend than what Kevin suggests.

[IncognitoSir]

He's just a big dick with a small penis. Only thing you should of done different is you shoulde've shoved him off you as soon as he leaned in to kiss you. He thought you were a low self esteem girl that he could take advantage of. Turned out you weren't, so to protect his pride, he started shit talking about you before you could tell anyone you rejected him........middle school stuff. He's a boy.

[Gratedwasabi]

Spread a rumor that you were thinking about it until you felt and his penis was tiny. Guaranteed payback.

[MerryH]

Now he's going around telling his friends what a b*tch I am! And my friends are mad at me for causing drama!

Why are they mad at you? For offering up your friend, or for turning him down? What is the drama?

[smackie9]

Negging
Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances. This is something no decent guy would do.
It's a way to pick up girls. How it works is you use remarks to tap into female insecurity; Shake their confidence.
Neg is a negative remark wrapped in a back-handed compliment.
So your neg will confuse and intrigue them and maybe even shake their confidence a little bit, but only enough for them to fall from the clouds and be interested in TALKING to you. Its a way to get through their defenses at bars and such.

So it did indeed worked, she was intrigued and at the same time confused her...he's a jerk, he was playing the pick up game....the problem was that the alcohol knocked his game off and he moved in too quickly.

[smackie9]

I feel that she got totally fluttered and hastily expressed her friends interest in a way that didn't come out right, in order for her to get him off her. In other words when he made his move she realized she got herself in a compromising situation, and had to think fast.

[smackie9]

And yes he's a big baby, he don't likey no being rejecty. I'm sure there are coworkers that know all too well what this guy is like and won't believe a word he has said.

[alchemist1451]

Why are they mad at you? For offering up your friend, or for turning him down? What is the drama?

I talked to a couple of my friends about this last night, including the friend I offered up. Actually, she was the LEAST pissed at me... she was kinda pleased, actually, cause she'd wanted to hook up with him but hadn't had the chance to make a move. She joked that she'd happily step in and "take one for the team" any time I needed to not make out with a hot guy, haha.

The other friends I talked to said they were mad because they felt I had led him on and that he was a nice guy and didn't deserve my rejection.

I told them I had no idea I was leading him on. I thought I was being friendly, not flirty. I never touched him, and I only said a few things like "I like your costume" (he was dressed as the Evil League of Evil Dr. Horrible) and asking him what TV shows he liked. Is that flirty?? Cause, um, then I was being flirty with probably like every person there.

They also kinda said they were mad at me cause rejecting him was "snooty"... they said it took a lot of guts for a nerd to make a move on a girl, and by rejecting him I was just reinforcing the stereotype that girls only go for jerky jocks. I don't get this at all, cause I DON'T go for those kinda guys... that's why this guy confused me so much, because he WASN'T a nice guy. But my friends said he was just "nervous" and if I'd been less bitchy, I would have seen that and realized it was my fault for toying with him.

I feel really confused, cause I didn't purposefully do any of those things... I thought I was just being nice.

[maxmax]

Your friends are being fools.

It's none of their business who you choose to 'reject' and who you choose to like.

They need to grow up, mind their own business and drop it.

Oh, they can also try being your 'friend' and stop giving you a hard time about something which doesn't even really concern them.

[smackie9]

Your friends have no frickin clue. Guys of all walks of life will use "Pick Up" nerdy or not. And why would it be "snooty" to say no! The guy is not much of a winner anyways to even bother with.

I've learned that life becomes much easier when you don't care what others think. They weren't there so they can just shut it.

[charie]

It's a trick some men do to get a lady,,, they will get all arrogant and rude at first to make the lady feel ugly or something and lower their confidence, and then after that they will suddenly be all sweet and adorable and give you the feeling of "Omgosh! Brad Pitt likes me! Yey!"...

Good you reacted very well. thumbs up for u! Forget him, he'll be a pain in the ass for sure!