BF not sexually attracted to me. Can it work?

[Saya]

Is he under stress or have something on his mind, too busy?
Does he watch porn?
How often were you having sex with him at the start of the relationship?
I mean, at the start of the relationship a lot of people's sex drive is high, but it gradually decrees, but this depends on the relationship.
It could relate to health issue, but not sure...since he can get hard, but doesn't last long...

[davedlt]

What you are describing is not that unusual in a lot of relationships. I wouldn't break up with him over it just yet as it is not a difficult problem to work out. It is not that he is not attracted to you because you are overweight or anything like that. What is going to inspire him to have sex with you and eat you out and all that is when he feels the connection between the two of you. So if you spend some fun time together and then maybe have a deep and meaningful conversation so you both feel a deep connection, he will want to have sex with you and do all the things you are talking about.

If he is in a bit of a slow spot in his life, his energy and passion might be taking a temporary low. Also if he is not physically fit then sex can be a bit of a workout for him.

But the best thing is to talk about it with him and share the connection of talking about both your feelings. That alone will get things on the path to fixing things and having good sex.

If it still does not work, talk to him to see if he has any resentments towards you over anything. It is probably not the case, but make sure. In my experience working with people on their relationships, resentments towards each other is the biggest reason sex doesn't happen.

[lostnconfused22]

Its just so hard to talk about... every time I try to bring it up he will take interest in something else or talk about his homework and then I get shy and embarressed. I hate it. Lately I havent been feeling that same connection... he is going shooting over at his sisters tomorrow and usually he would say im coming or ask me to come. This time he did not =( I just wonder what exactly can I do physically to make him feel better... its so hard to try and think up of what to say... the other morning we started having sex.. he wanted me to give him head but i said no and started riding him but he just wasnt really into it so I hopped off and rolled over. I was so frustrated. He asked me what was wrong with me and then we just went on like nothing happened. There is like all this stuff we need to talk about but I dont know how. Its so hard to find the right time or the right thing to say. I tried to ask him to have a bubble bath with me this afternoon and he said na he has other stuff to do. Im at a loss. :/

[smackie9]

Dear it not just about the sex. He's tired of your relationship. The blowjob is just for him not you. He doesn't want to spend time with you either so he goes out on his own....he's not acknowledging you both as a couple anymore. Read the signs hun.....he's not wanting to be with you. Most would respond with "well why doesn't he leave"....Like I said he's just using you as a flat mate. He changes the subject for a reason....what he has to say is not going to be good.

You want this dealt with you have to stop being so passive. Confront him, and ask him what's going on with him, and what's going on with the relationship. Why is he not into sex with you, why does he go out alone, why does he avoid spending quality time with you. You say it's too hard to talk about it.....I feel you fear what he is going to say. Get off your duff and just do it.

[lostnconfused22]

Well It happened this morning. We woke up and were cuddling then i started rubbing him all over and started giving him a blow job. He came after only like five minutes or so and I literally was like "Nooooo!" lol I got up and told him he was selfish. I explained that I had stopped half way the other morning because I had felt he was just not into it and I dont like having sex with someone who is acting like theyre not really enjoying having sex with me. The whole time he just lies there with his hand over his face. He tries to say you should be studying not thinking about sex all the time. But im not thinking about sex all the time. Ive sent him a message saying that I do enjoy giving him head but I am tired of giving without getting anything in return. And that his lack of interest in sex makes me feel like hes not attracted to me. He sent me a reply just saying that he thinks i stress myself out too much. I sent him one in reply asking if there is anything he would like to do?? Or if there is anything I can do differently to make our sex life better for him?? I am still waiting on a reply. Hmmm...

[abn25]

He sounds selfish and you sound too eager to please, you have asked the right questions so its up to you to decide if you can live with his vague and pathetic responses. Hes just going to make you feel worse it sounds, you need to take care of yourself and take a brake from him i think. It may help you both out or maybe just you but you deserve better than this.

[smackie9]

I would have dumped his ass ages ago.....girl where is your self worth? The guy is just messing with you....I wouldn't call this a relationship at all.

[asdfg789]

OP, sorry but this isn't going to work. For a guy to lose interest after just a year and it doesn't sound like he's even over 40, it is a big issue.

I dont care if it is a sex drive issue or he's getting it elsewhere, there is just nothing in it for you.

Move on.