Please offer me advice - girlfriend is playing games with my heart.

[bt1980]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Okay, so for thoese interested, I have an update and Grrrrr....where do I go on this one?

Had the first date with the young girl I met last Friday. Saw her last night for a couple of drinks and all went okay I think. And I text her to see if she'd see me again and she said she wwould!

The date wasnt as smooth as it had been when I went on a first date with my 'current girlfreind'. That felt so different and right as I seem to recall...although it was 7 years ago.

Now, my gf decided to turn up at my house this morning at 6.30am unnanounced after ringing me last night coincidentally finally, after my date.

She came to pack her things she said. She packed a few bits; I accused her of seeing the other man. She denied it and cried and left. She text me then to say "if u ever cared, meet me at Costa Coffee at 0830". Me being me got up and met her, staying for half hour before heading off to work.

She appeared distressed in Costa. I think she blames me for not having loved her as much as I should have done. Although she doesnt directly admit cheating on me, she said things like, If I'd loved her, she wouldnt do what she does. I think she wanted marriage very early in the relationship perhaps.

Now she has rang again tonight and said when I should drop the rest of her things to her mum tomorrow, as she doesnt feel strong enough to see me as it is breaking her heart. I accused her again of seeing HIM again tomorrow. She says she has been seeing him but just as a friend. WHO KNOWS?

Should I believe her and give her the benefit of the doubt or try a new thing with this dated girl who is 10 years my junior?

I am struggling to think of life without my gf. All those GOOD memories having to be forgotten about. All the keepsakes having to be stored away. Can I start again after such a long relationship. I dont know. At this moment in time, it is my decision I feel. I could get her back and hope that finally she has learned her lesson after nearly losing me...or start afresh.

WHAT DO U THINK?!!??? xx

[smackie9]

STOP! Your ex is using manpulation to make you doubt your decision, and to make you feel such guilt. She is a f uckin manipulative bitch. She's lying to you and she is f ucking with your head. Ya right you didn't love her enough oh come on seriously? YOu believe that crap? There are no good memories, she's been unfaithful to you all this time, like WTF are you thinking? Yes you and everyone else that have ended a long term relationship and marriages, do find better relationships in the aftermath. STOP IT JUST STOP! You go back, then you are a god damn idiot. Start fresh? ya right, what a load. A fresh pile of crap is more like it.

Don't expect a speedy recovery from this skank, and this new girl may not be the one to fall in love with, whatever. You will manage just fine being away form your ex, you will see. It's tough right now, but just hang in there.....stay away from her, NO CONTACT.

[bt1980]

Thanks Smackie. I love your honesty. I need that. When I read what u write, I'm always thinking hell ya right! And it comes just when I need it because just now I was thinking of texting her to say that I never stopped loving her or that I cant believe that this is happening. Which would I know make me just look weak! So I am keeping strong. NO CONTACT. Unless she contacts me anyhow.

I know I'm stupid for half believing her when she says she is only friends with him but I am a good judge of character and if the gut feeling was any bigger Id be bursting.

I think she is very manipulative. And I am very weak. Or at least I was. I really am trying to be stronger and this site is a god send for people in my boat!!!

BT

[IndiReloaded]

telling her then about him arriving at my door, she said he was a immature boy who thought there was something more than there was.

Oh my god, you poor guy. Don't you realize this guy^ wasn't coming to check you out, he was coming to do you a favour. He wanted you to know that your soon-to-be EX girlfriend has been 2-timing you for a whole year.

The fact she is calling *him* immature for showing up shows she has absolutely no remorse for what she has done. You mention wanting children. Is this the kind of woman you think would make a good mother?

1. She was cheating on you. Longterm. Who knows what diseases she has exposed you to.
2. She has been lying to you. Longterm. This wasn't a drunk one-night stand. How can you ever trust her?
3. She was caught out and, instead of being sorry and showing remorse (which I wouldn't believe anyway since she lied for so long), she tried to make it about the other guy!

This is beyond 'playing with your heart'. This selfish, amoral woman cares nothing for you. I'm sorry. You need to dump her immediately and move on. Go find the guy who gave you the heads up and buy him a beer. Get drunk together and make up new swear words about this bitch.

[IndiReloaded]

That's what I am saying "if you don't like it, go somewhere else". Very nasty and just an all around mean person. Big difference between a virtual slap in the face and just being rotten.

Newbies aren't allowed to have opinions about regular advisors on this forum. PM a mod, but be aware the culture here is to smack YOU down for it. Smackie is proven, you aren't.