Hubby doesn't tell me where he's going

[Maple1714]

Wow...why are you still with him? How about this... Take all his belongings (whatever you can't sell) and throw it in the front yard. Then, have he locks changed. Get a lawyer, Get his name taken of all your accounts/house/bills and file for a divorce. Do it. Who cares where he was?

He isn't even treating you like a friend let alone a wife and mother of his child.

[Wakeup]

I find it odd that you didn't call the police and report him missing.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Wow...why are you still with him? How about this... Take all his belongings (whatever you can't sell) and throw it in the front yard. Then, have he locks changed. Get a lawyer, Get his name taken of all your accounts/house/bills and file for a divorce. Do it. Who cares where he was?

He isn't even treating you like a friend let alone a wife and mother of his child.

Wow Maple, don't think I've seen a vicious streak from you like this before. What if he just got drunk and passed out in an alley for a couple days? Maybe he really doesn't know what happened.

'I don't know', is definitely the funniest and most gangsta possible answer. I kinda like this guy. He's a prick, but at least he's got style. This chick isn't gonna leave. This dude owns her, and he knows it.

[Maple1714]

She won't leave him, I know. He said "I don't know?"...lol jeez. It just pisses me off that she had the flu, couldn't take off work and had to tend to their 2yr old while sick. He is low. Their kid could've gotten sick from his mom and it's just cruel to leave someone on the hook like that.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

This guy is legendary.

I want to hear more of his exploits.

Fawlkes, tell us more of what he has done...that you know of.

[Fawlkes]

The morning he left I woke up to find my toddler watching TV he had put on for her and I discovered he had given her caramel corn but she hadn't eaten it. Instead she had thrown it all around the room. She couldn't have got the caramel corn herself because there is a child lock on the pantry. The caramel corn got stuck in the carpet and our child was still in her night clothes. I was more tired than normal that day because I had to visit my father in hospital. I really thought marrying him would give our child a stable life.

[Wakeup]

.. and you didn't call the police when he didn't come home that night? You sound depressed, Fawkes. Whats going on with you? How come you didn't hear them get up or her throwing around carmel corn? I know the minute my toddler put one foot on the floor in the morning and was up to supervise her and start our day. Are you okay? I know you said you had the flu, were you on some drowzy meds at the time?

btw: If my husband ever did that, I'd first call the police because it would be totally unlike him. Being in an accident is THE only excuse for anyone to do something like what your husband did. Leaving your toddler all alone while you're conked out in the bedroom is another good reason to leave him. He's irresponsible and your kid could have gotten hurt or choked on the popcorn even for heavens sake.

[Maple1714]

You do sound depressed. Your father is sick? You are sick? Your husband isn't treating you well. You should try and spend some time with a real friend/family member for a while. Take your child on a long weekend somewhere if you can. Surround yourself with people who love you and make the right decision, which is to do what I suggested above. Take care of yourself and your child.

[Fawlkes]

I really thought he had matured. He never used to be this bad. When he was younger he crashed his car when he was showing off his driving skills to me but seemed to have changed since then.

[Wakeup]

I really thought he had matured. He never used to be this bad. When he was younger he crashed his car when he was showing off his driving skills to me but seemed to have changed since then.

Okay.. we know all about him.. I'm making this about you now.

Did you call the police/hospitals. If not, why not? Were'nt you worried he was showing off again and could be dead this time?
Are you clinically depressed?
Were you on drowzy-making meds?
Why didn't you hear him and your toddler mucking about? Or, your hubby leave?
Why would you just accept his "I don't know" when you asked hm where he had been?
WTH is going on with you?
Do you have people who you can call on when there are situations like this? Where are your family and friends?

[Fawlkes]

I was already overtired that night and I have to take sleeping pills every night because I do shift work. I've been having a lot of double shifts lately because my co-worker is having a baby. On top of that the flu medication must have also made me drowsy. I think now I should have called the police. He is being unresponsive when I ask him where he went. Usually my parents help me with the child but at the time they both were at the hospital.

[bcgirl]

You must be on those drowsy meds when you are writing these posts because you don't elaborate very well. So why the hell are you with this man? When he answers "I don't know" what do you say? I mean, he must really lack respect for you if he thinks he can leave for two days without a word and just come home and say "I dunno". He might as well say a big "Fu(k you"

[Fawlkes]

I just can't think straight right now. I'm so disappointed. We got married for our child's sake. It just just seemed like the right decision and was convenient.

[basilandthyme]

My sister's ex used to disappear without explanation. The reason? He was a nutter. We didn't have a mental illness diagnosis at the time, but there was something wrong with him mentally. While he could fake being normal for long enough to lure a girl, his true self would eventually show it's face. He had no concept of how his actions affected others, was very controlling and also had a very strong 'victim' complex. He'd also invent things about my sister to prove that she was out to get him. He also gave lengthy silent treatement to my sister - and eventually their children too. She often had no idea why.

He firebombed my parents house after my sister left him.

What other red flags do you see in his behaviour?

[basilandthyme]

Fawlkes, I want to add a few comments regarding some of the other posts. Because I've seen a guy like this in action, I have some insight into why you aren't reacting like people expect.

I understand why you didn't call the police. He's done it before and you knew that this was a disappearing act and not an accident or kidnapping.

I understand why you can't just demand he tell you where he was. He will refuse to tell you and likely shut down if you push. Perhaps life gets worse if you push?

And no, it's not an affair. A regular person having an affair would most likely take the time to cover their trail. A business trip or weekend with mates would be his reasoning.