How would u take this text?

**Carlito** · 07-12-12, 04:32 AM

so confusing.... my first thought was friend zone but she text me three times today just starting convo since that text this morning

**smackie9** · 07-12-12, 05:47 AM

Friend zone comes with intense emotional attachment without sexual attraction. This why so many dudes get confused, and some don't even know they are in the friends zone because of how the girl has been giving him attention. That is why communication is vital...know where you stand and where you want to be.

**Carlito** · 07-12-12, 05:51 AM

that is true however why would she not shoot down "lets date and see where it goes" ?

like i said very confusing cause that text i thought screamed friend zone

**Wakeup** · 07-12-12, 05:56 AM

To me, and as I've said, it screams Friends with Benefits. *or possibly a "I've been used before and so I'll not be going to bed with you anytime soon* situation.

Ask her out on another date and keep your heart off your sleeve until you figure her out... or after you ask her to clarify ;o)

**Carlito** · 07-12-12, 06:03 AM

asking her to clarify seems a lil girly though? i mean thats typically what girl asks a guy.....

but yes i will ask her out again this weekend.... if she says no.... that should prob tell me what i need to know.

**searock** · 07-12-12, 06:03 AM

She told you that she wants to continue dating and to see how it goes. She just doesn't want a commitment, she wants to take it slow because maybe she doesn't see you as relationship material, or she isn't ready to get in another serious relationship yet, or she wants to keep her options open. Whatever the reason, the fact is that she doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship. If you're OK with that, then keep dating her and see how it goes, as you agreed to do.

**Carlito** · 07-12-12, 06:08 AM

thats true....well i will ask her out again this weekend....

however lol so far ive gotten......

1 friend zone

1 friend with benefits

2 she still wants to date

the only answer is I will have to wait and see i guess

**searock** · 07-12-12, 06:09 AM

Actually, being friends with benefits and "dating not exclusively" are basically the same thing, at this stage. Time will tell!

**Wakeup** · 07-12-12, 06:11 AM

Gosh Sea.. I'm having a day of not agreeing with you much (sowwy). "FWB" and "dating" are nothing the same. The first one you have no intentions of every being an "item" the second it's still very much up in the air.

I'll add it's all about intent.

**searock** · 07-12-12, 06:15 AM

Hehe, I noticed :-P.

You're right, that's why I said "at this stage"... she didn't rule out possibly becoming an item in the future, she just said that right now she doesn't want commitment. She wants to keep dating but not exclusively... doing what friends with benefits do, for now, but leaving open the possibility of something more in the future. It may remain at the FWB stage, or it may become a relationship, or they may stop seeing each other altogether. He needs to stop over-analyzing and just see how it evolves.

**misombra** · 07-12-12, 06:33 AM

She has another guy she's hung up on.

**misombra** · 07-12-12, 06:34 AM

Tell her to call you when she's let go of that one and leave her alone, lest you get relegated to the friendly zone.

**Wakeup** · 07-12-12, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by searock

Hehe, I noticed :-P.

You're right, that's why I said "at this stage"... she didn't rule out possibly becoming an item in the future, she just said that right now she doesn't want commitment. She wants to keep dating but not exclusively... doing what friends with benefits do, for now, but leaving open the possibility of something more in the future. It may remain at the FWB stage, or it may become a relationship, or they may stop seeing each other altogether. He needs to stop over-analyzing and just see how it evolves.

Well if that's the case then no wonder so many (mostly women) get confused and think that their vj can lead a guy to a relationship. FWB is a dynamic that is talked about and agreed upon before you take it to the benefits level. It is usually formed with a Friend that is already a friend and not someone you've been dating. You don't go into a FWB dynamic thinking that it could lead to more. That is totally counter productive to the casual benefits without committment with someone that you can trust because they have been your friend for awhile (who you have never actually dated because you were just friends)

Right now they are dating, they've just met and they are not friends even. Hopefully he'll get clarification about what they want with one another before they consumate the dating.

**searock** · 07-12-12, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

FWB is a dynamic that is talked about and agreed upon before you take it to the benefits level. It is usually formed with a Friend that is already a friend and not someone you've been dating.

That's why I don't think she's asking for a FWB, strictly speaking: they aren't friends, and they haven't discussed it. She never mentioned wanting a friends with benefits arrangement, she just said she wants to keep it slow.

I think she wants to date other guys, without committing to just one yet. She wants to do what friends with benefits do (regular sex with no strings attached), without it being called "FWB" (because they aren't actually friends and it could lead to something more, eventually).

**Wakeup** · 07-12-12, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by searock

That's why I don't think she's asking for a FWB, strictly speaking: they aren't friends, and they haven't discussed it. She never mentioned wanting a friends with benefits arrangement, she just said she wants to keep it slow.

I think she wants to date other guys, without committing to just one yet. She wants to do what friends with benefits do (regular sex with no strings attached), without it being called "FWB" (because they aren't actually friends and it could lead to something more, eventually).

*sighs* I'm saying she wants friends with benefits (maybe) but she doesn't know what friends with benefits actually is. Lets change it to she MAY want to just have sex without commitment (not necessarily even being your friend) OR: She may even just want to wait for a long time before having sex because she felt she was used before and got hurt in those other two relationships because of it.

Forget what we're saying (or at least I'm saying, can't speak for Sea's posts

) op just date her and when you next see her get her actual interpretation of what her text meant. We are just speculating and as much fun as that is ~ we don't know squat about what she's actually meaning.. only she knows that

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