How should I contact my ex-GF to reconnect??

[phantogram]

You should just do it OP. Its either going to be a yes or no. Ring her, ask her how she has been, tell her you miss her and ask her out on a date

What's OP?

[michelle23]

original poster. its you.

[phantogram]

lulz thanks

[michelle23]

so what are you gonna do?

[phantogram]

Unless anyone has any other suggestions, see how I'm feeling this weekend, call, and if she's receptive, try to arrange something light for next weekend.

I could also try in a few weeks once her semester is done, but I know she has a lull in schoolwork this weekend, and I'm not sure if early/mid June is too long to wait.

[michelle23]

make it clear you want a date and not just a chat as friends. and do it soon

[Wakeup]

Well you did wait until she reached out to you (wishing you a H-bd) so she's initiated the contact. Phone her up and talk to her for awhile and then tell her you'll be in her area on such and such a day/time and would she like to meet for dinner or whatever and then follow her lead. When someone has problems like she's had and just coming out of an abusive relationship you don't want to be pushing her into anything. You specifically don't want to be falling in love with her if she's still having post breakup issues caused by an abusive relationship. Before she can be anyone's decent partner, she' has to have learned to love and respect herself and be independently happy with a good sense of self-worth. Don't set yourself up to be her caretaker. She doesn't need anymore codependency.

Good luck.

[phantogram]

So, I called last night. Rang twice, went to voicemail. Not sure if the call dropped, I called from a place with a pretty bad signal. Probably gonna try again today late-afternoon/early evening. Any thoughts? Ugh...

[smackie9]

You never know she may have given you the button.

[phantogram]

You never know she may have given you the button.

Absolutely possible, but that's the thing, I don't know...

[smackie9]

The number is there, she would have called you back.

[redbb]

Instead of calling again.. why don't you send a text asking how is she?

You could also say that you would love to have a coffee with her but you are not sure if she is too busy with school
If you see that she is being receptive you could say that you have miss her.

If things go well, you can tell her that u want her in your life again but you don't want to push things, so you are going to give her space, but letting her know that you ar actually waiting for her, and not just being a friend.

good luck!

[phantogram]

Well, I called once yesterday, no answer. Once just now, no answer. I decided to text her that I was going to be in her area this weekend, asked if she wanted to get coffee, and sent it with a funny animal picture (she's a fan of that sort of thing, and I figured she'd be more receptive if I made it somewhat lighthearted).

This is in her court now.

[michelle23]

good luck let us know what the outcome is

[phantogram]

Well, its been a few days and there has been absolutely no reply. Complete silence from her end.

I was talking to a mutual friend of ours yesterday, and apparently she's going home for the weekend, so we won't actually be in the same place at all at any point (the two of them are supposed to hang out this weekend). But even the friend agreed that the complete silence was rude, especially considering we agreed to remain in touch (she sounded excited at the thought of us seeing each other, until I mentioned the non-reply).

I also talked to her best friend's boyfriend (not about the ex, he just had a death in the family, so I offered my condolences), and he actually wants to keep in touch and even hang out (I haven't talked to this guy since the split.)

The whole thing is weird, and I'm honestly just kind of pissed off. Is there any point in expressing my derision, or asking her why she's been completely silent, or should I just let it be for now (I think I know the answer to this one)?