Second Date Ideas

[1averagejoe]

LA is a pretty big place you know...lol

And greek...I'm jealous of you man. I miss moments like those. This is your first girl right? I must say you are a pretty smooth guy.

[Indignant]

LA is a pretty big place you know...lol

yeah, i am close to studio city

[TheGreek]

Thanks vashti and AJ. Yeah, this is my first girl, if you can even call it that at this point. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've talked to other girls before and I've gone on dates, but it's never gone anywhere. For one reason or another, it never worked up until this point. I would get stuck in the friend zone or come on too strong or I'd be too afraid to make a move. But this time's different. With the help of y'all and the help of friends, I've been successful. I've kept my distance and played the game, and slowly things are starting to unfold in my favor. So, a big thank you is in order to everyone that has helped me, especially vashti, carl, and AJ.

Now, I have another question. I gave her a call last night at around 7. She didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. When should I call her back?

[vashti]

What is the purpose of your call? Are you trying to set another date?



On a separate note, I want to warn you not to go too crazy with the extravagant dates. (Yes, for a kid, they are pretty extravagant.) I don't know what your financial situation is like, but it is awfully difficult for a kid with a limited income to maintain the pace you are setting. Also, you are setting yourself up for difficulties "topping yourself" during birthdays, holidays, whatever. And of course, you want to be sure the girl you are dating likes you for YOU, rather than the nice places you are taking her.

Maybe you can mix in some low-cost/free activities. My son takes his girlfriend hiking and biking quite a bit, and they do videos with a bunch of friends quite a bit. They only go out on dates like you describe about once every 3-4 weeks at this point because his income is limited and he doesn't have a regular job.

I mean, do what you like and can afford to do without becoming resentful, but don't feel like you need to always do something that is costing you $$$.

[TheGreek]

What is the purpose of your call? Are you trying to set another date?



On a separate note, I want to warn you not to go too crazy with the extravagant dates. (Yes, for a kid, they are pretty extravagant.) I don't know what your financial situation is like, but it is awfully difficult for a kid with a limited income to maintain the pace you are setting. Also, you are setting yourself up for difficulties "topping yourself" during birthdays, holidays, whatever. And of course, you want to be sure the girl you are dating likes you for YOU, rather than the nice places you are taking her.

Maybe you can mix in some low-cost/free activities. My son takes his girlfriend hiking and biking quite a bit, and they do videos with a bunch of friends quite a bit. They only go out on dates like you describe about once every 3-4 weeks at this point because his income is limited and he doesn't have a regular job.

I mean, do what you like and can afford to do without becoming resentful, but don't feel like you need to always do something that is costing you $$$.

I just want to call her and talk. But I want to wait long enough not to come off as needy or clingy. But don't get me wrong, I do want to get together with her again this weekend. And I haven't really gone all out with the money. The first night was the most expensive just because of the number of activities. But, we got into the Greek Festival for free. The food was $12. The water was $2. The Loukoumades were free. The coffees cost me like $9. Then the movie tickets were like $17. So the whole night was $40.

Then are second date was $30 for dinner. And then we came back to my house and watched a movie and cuddled. That was free

For our next date, I'm going to make some hot chocolate and put it in a thermos for us and drive around the expensive neighborhoods looking at all the Christmas lights. What do y'all think of that. So that date won't cost too much, unless we go somewhere and even then, it won't be too bad. But thanks, I definitely don't want to come off as too extravagant or like I'm trying too hard.

[1averagejoe]

Same question as Vash...why did you call?

Personally I hate leaving voicemails in general. If someone doesn't pick up I usually send them a text saying I couldn't get ahold of you and then a brief summary of what I wanted to ask.

As for what to do now. Does she have your phone number in her phone? If not she probably may have mistaken it for a random missed call and just ignored it. I've done this a couple time. As for when to call back, to be honest...I don't know. Let one of the forum mom's answer that one for you.


*edit*
Awesome idea with the hot cocoa thermos and lights. I'm taking note on that one.

Ok you posted at the same time...I would probably give it at least another day or two before calling.

[TheGreek]

Let one of the forum mom's answer that one for you.

Haha. Alright, thanks bro.

*edit*
Awesome idea with the hot cocoa thermos and lights. I'm taking note on that one.

Go for it dude.

[TheGreek]

I think I'm gonna call her either tonight or tomorrow at the latest. What do y'all think?

[carl1222]

I think I'm gonna call her either tonight or tomorrow at the latest. What do y'all think?

Well, if you want to go out Saturday, call tomorrow at the latest. For Friday, call her tonight. Forget the aloofness (not that you need it any more), it shows respect for the girl not to appear as though you are taking her for granted. Some girls (somewhat older than you) even have a silly "3 day rule" ... they will never accept a date without 3 days' notice unless there is some reason like a last minute opportunity (I think it was from a book on dating for women).

I don't know why we're giving you advice, Greek, you're doing better than I did in college!

I think the hot chocolate/christmas lights idea is brilliant. Last weekend (by picking the DVD over the theater) she showed you she isn't a high maintenance girl. Another excellent quality, especially at your age.

Carl.

[TheGreek]

Well, if you want to go out Saturday, call tomorrow at the latest. For Friday, call her tonight. Forget the aloofness (not that you need it any more), it shows respect for the girl not to appear as though you are taking her for granted. Some girls (somewhat older than you) even have a silly "3 day rule" ... they will never accept a date without 3 days' notice unless there is some reason like a last minute opportunity (I think it was from a book on dating for women).

I don't know why we're giving you advice, Greek, you're doing better than I did in college!

I think the hot chocolate/christmas lights idea is brilliant. Last weekend (by picking the DVD over the theater) she showed you she isn't a high maintenance girl. Another excellent quality, especially at your age.

Carl.

I think I'll call her tonight and ask her out for Saturday. And thanks for helping me see things Carl. Like her picking the DVD over the theater didn't even register with me that she wasn't high maintenace.

About the "aloofness," I wasn't intentionally trying to play the game or whatever. I just didn't want to come off as pushy or needy too quickly. Since I called her on Sunday night and didn't leave a message and she didn't return my call, I didn't want to call her too soon after that. Thanks again for all of the help man. I really appreciate it.

[vashti]

About the "aloofness," I wasn't intentionally trying to play the game or whatever. I just didn't want to come off as pushy or needy too quickly.

I think that is very wise. ^^ Don't go calling her all the time. Give her something to look forward to. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Also, I love the lights-and-hot chocolate idea.

[TheGreek]

Well, I just called her again. Left a message this time. Ball's in her court now.

[TheGreek]

Still no call. Beginning to have my doubts. She never did this before...

[carl1222]

Still no call. Beginning to have my doubts. She never did this before...

Don't let your mind run wild, Greek ... it's almost inconceivable that at this point she would just run cold. Maybe she hasn't gotten your voicemail yet.

Carl.

[TheGreek]

Don't let your mind run wild, Greek ... it's almost inconceivable that at this point she would just run cold. Maybe she hasn't gotten your voicemail yet.

Carl.

I just don't quite see how that's possible, man. I mean, I called her on Sunday. No return call. I called her last night with message, still no return call. Needless to say, I'm rather dumbfounded.