Am I wrong for wanting a mature guy?

[the_robot]

Ah, we're on the same page now. Tearing my hair out over exams and working myself to exhaustion is also not what I want to do at 19, but hey, plane tickets aren't cheap, especially 'around the world' trips. But at the same time, in 8 years time, I definitely do not want to be still wandering aimlessly, without a secure job and struggling to pay off bills.

You can choose to do that at 19, or at 49, but I'd rather have money when I'm 25 and still young so I can do all those trips :-P

[Piragua]

Modern men now live in an extended childhood until about age 29. They sit around playing console games and surfing internet porn and not accomplishing much. Women are now getting 60% of the college degrees in the U.S., because they are more focused and responsible. I live near a university campus, and even though it's a coed campus (University of Minnesota) about 95% of the regular joggers are female. The men are presumably sitting at home, flabby, and scratching themselves. If you want a mature guy, you're probably going to have to date a guy who is at least in his thirties.

Where exactly are you getting these numbers? they seem very inaccurate to me. Age has nothing to do with maturity, you over generalized here big time. Keep in mind that there are rich 18 yr olds and poor 40's. Life is a bit indifferent when it comes to who's mature at what age. Even a guy who curses or acts immature, can get an above average job and still get a woman. Women make the same mistakes as men, they procrastinate just the same.

[Piragua]

Someone who is respectful and courteous, who doesn't swear or drink excessively, who is well groomed and looks after his health, who doesn't make crude jokes and is honest and hardworking, and not superficial, and also kind and generous. I feel like the guys my age (22) are not like that at all, they seem more like overgrown boys than men

Age wont change how mature a person is. Believing it does it just stupidity working its way into your conscious. But the things you ask for are purely subjective. What's swearing or drinking excessively to you? What is a crude joke? Isn't superficial asking for a guy with all those things you deem "worthy"? You see when you ask that kind of question, you make yourself out to be the shallow person in the topic. How mature are you at 22? Why is it so bad to be immature at 22?

Theres just so many things that need clarification. Every body swears and everyone drinks. I've lived in Florida for a while and nearly everyone I met drank. I been to mexico, LA, CT, upstate etc and everyone I met drank. So I can't really dislike someone for drinking. In this day and age drinking and smoking is part of the culture. As for crude jokes....some of the worlds known comedians use crude humor; Robin Williams, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Louie C.K. , Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Norton, Dane Cook, Dennis Leary, and so on. If you can't take a crude joke in 2010, you might be the most dullest person I've ever met...or a soccer mom.

You're not wrong for wanting a mature guy, but you are wrong for creating a list of cons that are completely subjective and expect to find a man who has all of the above. Nothing is perfect in this world, so expect to make your list a lot shorter.

[VincenzoG91]

Where exactly are you getting these numbers? they seem very inaccurate to me. Age has nothing to do with maturity, you over generalized here big time. Keep in mind that there are rich 18 yr olds and poor 40's. Life is a bit indifferent when it comes to who's mature at what age. Even a guy who curses or acts immature, can get an above average job and still get a woman. Women make the same mistakes as men, they procrastinate just the same.

I'm looking around at the college campus that I live near, and I'm looking at my younger friends, and also my older friends when they were in that age range. Are there exceptions? Sure. Do you feel that there are lots of rich 18 year-olds? Or maybe just a few?

As for the disparity in graduation rates, it's been all over the news for at least a decade now. Pick a network or a major publication, and they've done stories on it. Here's one from the Washington Post from last January that says the gap has stabilized at 57% women/43% men:

[url=http://voices.washingtonpost.com/college-inc/2010/01/college_gender_gap_stabilizing.html]College Inc. - College gender gap stabilizing[/url]

[the_robot]

Every body swears and everyone drinks.

That's certainly NOT true.

[Gigabitch]

If you can't take a crude joke in 2010, you might be the most dullest person I've ever met...or a soccer mom.

I'm a soccer mom and I love a crude joke.

Ii think you aren't wrong for wanting a mature man, OP, but you'd better revise those expectations of finding one your own age. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

[Kaius]

It all depends on the individual. I'm 35. I made my first $1M when I was 29. I am divorced now, so I'm broke. I am also crazy.
I can get a 23 year old no problem. I am handsome and very sophisticated. But young women are too immature for me.
Right now I worship my goddess, who is 38. She is perfect for me. I don't think she would want a 50-year-old man, because
physically men in their 50s may not compare to men in mid-30s.

Conclusion: it all depends on the individual. 20 years age gap is yucky.

[VincenzoG91]

I don't think she would want a 50-year-old man, because physically men in their 50s may not compare to men in mid-30s.

Unless you two break up, she will eventually get a 50-year-old man anyway, in about 12 years.

[warriormaiden]

Good luck finding him. Even the 'mature' guys, are immature. I dated a guy who was five years older than me. Came off as very ADULT. Dude, was worse than a 15 year old boy at a college frat party.
Loco.
Guys don't really start maturing until they're at LEAST 35.


For some reason, older guys love me. Don't know why. Since I'm 19, I'm getting guys in their late 20's, thirties, even 40's hitting on me.

[bhabygrace]

its hard to find a perfect guy...but wanting them may not be a wrong thing to do....

[the_robot]

Good luck finding him. Even the 'mature' guys, are immature. I dated a guy who was five years older than me. Came off as very ADULT. Dude, was worse than a 15 year old boy at a college frat party.
Loco.
Guys don't really start maturing until they're at LEAST 35.


For some reason, older guys love me. Don't know why. Since I'm 19, I'm getting guys in their late 20's, thirties, even 40's hitting on me.

This again? Age does not mean you are mature, as they said before, some guys (and gals) are like big kids even in their fifties. Being mature is a state of mind, nothing to do with age.

Of course, most guys start getting mature in their thirties because they probably can't keep the pace they could in their twenties and society pushes them.