Best (and mature) way to let him know i don't want to be his friend!

[Blah2004]

Hey guys,

I just need some help here, well i work with this guy, and he was flirting with me and eventually i developed some feelings for him and then i found out he actually has a gf but it was too late, i was so into him already. i confronted him and he told me the truth and told me he was desperate and blah blah...So i decided to end it and it was hard.

Problem is now he still somehow tries to talk to me, jokes around with me and even flirts!, I feel like he has no respect for me and so inconsiderate about my feelings. Well i ignored him, and tried to avoid talking to him or make any eye contacts. But i don't think he really got the point that i don't want to be his friend, yes i still like him and it hurts to just be friend with a guy you like after he used you., so i think thats the best way for me to get over him.

Question is: What is the best way to do or best things to say so he gets the point? cos when he talks to me, if i don't reply or be friendly, people at work will get suspicious and think i'm being a total bitch to him, and i don't want to be seen as that type pf person cos i get along with everyone at work. At the same time, i honestly don't want to talk to him if not necessary. How can i do this in a MATURE way? i still want to look professionally.

[Lite]

"Look, you're not my friend and I'm not interested in being your friend. We're co-workers and that is it. Please limit your interactions with me as appropriate."

[vashti]

"Look, you're not my friend and I'm not interested in being your friend. We're co-workers and that is it. Please limit your interactions with me as appropriate."

and you could always add "or I'll tell your girlfriend what you've been up to".

Seriously, you just need to be assertive. When told directly to get lost, most people comply.

[carl1222]

The combination of vasti's and Lite's advice is spot on.

Always remember ... he was not just some guy you developed a crush for ... he was a guy who 1) led you on; and 2) concealed a girlfriend.

If he doesn't comply with your request, take it to your manager.

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

Well, first of all you have to stop acting like he's invisible. That's not exactly mature and professional, is it?

Lead by example. Show him how to act appropriately. Do not engage him in crossing boundaries, but stop acting like an injured child.