what do you talk about when introducing yourself to a girl?

[CircleC]

And let me tell you something I've learned over the last week BBall, there is absolutely no immediate solution to be found on this site. It's what I was looking for too. LF won't teleport you to where you want to go, but will be a guide that you can take along your journey with you. You need to chill and really listen to what people have to say.

[bball_1523]

Yeah that was a little deep Hayward, especially for me. But I've been noticing the same thing happening with me too. So I keep that thought in mind. This way, the time I do spend thinking of her is productive and I don't go on and on, and dehumanize her.

and bball...Being analytical is good. Being paranoid is bad. You're teetering towards the latter. Think about this. What do you have to lose??? Nothing, you have nothing with her right now except for your expectations and fears. Expectations are limiting and fears nead to be overcome. So, if you lose both those things, woo hoo for you.

I wish I could lose my expectation and fears and just go with the flow. I've had recent anxiety problems with worrying and such so I'm still recovering from that. It definitely won't bother me when I talk to her though.

People always tell me that I have nothing to lose, but what about the embarrassments? Embarrassments such as if I were rejected, then she'd perceive in that manner everytime I see her, and it would flat out make me even more nervous and embarrassed. Well that is kind of happening to me right now with another girl at my school. Everytime I see her, I flat out feel ashamed of myself.

[CircleC]

People always tell me that I have nothing to lose, but what about the embarrassments?

Well, you won't be losing any embarassment, you'll be gaining that. lol. But feeling embarassed is a great way to feel alive. And don't be ashamed of your feelings. The reason that other girl doesn't like isn't because you like her. She didn't decide she wasn't interested because she knew you were interested. It's something else. Something you don't control. Be proud of your feelings and just accept that they aren't truly meant for her.

[CircleC]

I can't think of anything else to say. You understand you have nothing to lose. You understand you can't go on and on about all the time you've wanted to talk to her. You know what you need to do. So, I'll tell you that I think you will do a great job no matter what happens. Get some rest and get ready to do what you need to do.

[whaywardj]

bball: Has it ever occurred to you that fear of rejection is just arrogance turned upside down? Get over yourself. Nobody is paying that much attention to you except you.

[bball_1523]

yeah I just need some positive motivation to let it flow smoothly. Like I said I feel happy when I see her, I really want to keep that happiness inside me when I do approach her.

[CircleC]

Ok, keep thinking that way EXACTLY. Make that your focus. It should be that simple.

[whaywardj]

I think the women need to step in about here. LADIES!

[bball_1523]

I think the women need to step in about here. LADIES!

haha, they are probably laughing at me

[CircleC]

Then you should keep laughing too. Then they'll be laughing with you.

[ShyGirl]

Your situation is just like mine, except I'm a girl. I've seen this guy around school alot, and everytime we see each other we kinda lock eyes and smile and nod. I'm very tempted to go up to him and ask him out, but I'm not sure if he's interested, and like you I would have to see him around school alot. Personally, I would love it if the guy came up to me and asked me out or started talking, if he doesn't soon, I might have to suck it up and go ask him out. I would suggest going up to her and just saying something like "I've seen you around alot, I was just wondering what your name was" and then just going from there. Also, just a warning, other guys might be asking her out, so you might loose your chance. I've turned down a few guys so far, but I can't wait forever for him to ask me out. I say go for it, I know that whenever a guy asks me out, I always admire him for going after what he wants, wether or not I go out with him. Sorry this was such a long post, but seriously, go up to her next time you see her, I wish the guy I'm crushin on would do the same.

[bball_1523]

Your situation is just like mine, except I'm a girl. I've seen this guy around school alot, and everytime we see each other we kinda lock eyes and smile and nod. I'm very tempted to go up to him and ask him out, but I'm not sure if he's interested, and like you I would have to see him around school alot. Personally, I would love it if the guy came up to me and asked me out or started talking, if he doesn't soon, I might have to suck it up and go ask him out. I would suggest going up to her and just saying something like "I've seen you around alot, I was just wondering what your name was" and then just going from there. Also, just a warning, other guys might be asking her out, so you might loose your chance. I've turned down a few guys so far, but I can't wait forever for him to ask me out. I say go for it, I know that whenever a guy asks me out, I always admire him for going after what he wants, wether or not I go out with him. Sorry this was such a long post, but seriously, go up to her next time you see her, I wish the guy I'm crushin on would do the same.

you wouldn't happen to the girl I'm talking about are you? haha, wishful thinking. Thanks for the high hopes, I'll definitely talk to her!

[Tone]

People always tell me that I have nothing to lose, but what about the embarrassments? Embarrassments such as if I were rejected, then she'd perceive in that manner everytime I see her, and it would flat out make me even more nervous and embarrassed. Well that is kind of happening to me right now with another girl at my school. Everytime I see her, I flat out feel ashamed of myself.

You have to realize some things are just more important than your fears.

Let's play out the scenerios:

A.) You talk to her - she rejects you - you feel embarrassed for the day and maybe a few other times you see her - you move on and look for a new girl to catch your interest - few months/years later you look back and laugh at this whole situation.

B.) You don't talk to her - you have to live, for however long your mind decides to hold on, always wondering what could have happened had you just talked to her.

Rejection is temporary, regret is long-term. It's better to try and fail, knowing you did your part and knowing she's just not the one for you, than to always be playing the "What if..." game.

You say you see her a lot right? So obviously there is no sense of urgency - as in the first conversation doesn't have to be - Indroduction, small chat, find out if she's single, find out if she's busy this weekend, find out her hobbies, find out... etc etc - since you see her a lot just take it one day at a time. Just work on introducing yourself to her, if you feel the conversation is getting dull or you have nothin more to say just tell her you have to go, say somethin like "Well it was nice to meet you, I gotta run now though - but I look forward to seein you around more and glad I have a name to match the pretty smile." (If you're feelin suave)

I think you're trying to do too much at once. I'm not sayin you should take all day to ask her out... but if you see her on a somewhat regular basis, then you can make small progressions in talking with her. Introduce yourself, make some small chat, tell her you have to go, cut the conversation off and then think of everything you picked up off that initial conversation to think of what you will say next time.

It's simple, if you want to know this girl, you have to get over your fears. Just remind yourself she's just another human being you're interested in getting to know, nothing more, nothing less.

[ShyGirl]

I think Tone gave you some great advice..
"Rejection is temporary, regret is long-term"
-love that line
Anyways, you said you were gonna talk to her, please post how it goes when you do talk to her!

[bball_1523]

You have to realize some things are just more important than your fears.

Let's play out the scenerios:

A.) You talk to her - she rejects you - you feel embarrassed for the day and maybe a few other times you see her - you move on and look for a new girl to catch your interest - few months/years later you look back and laugh at this whole situation.

B.) You don't talk to her - you have to live, for however long your mind decides to hold on, always wondering what could have happened had you just talked to her.

Rejection is temporary, regret is long-term. It's better to try and fail, knowing you did your part and knowing she's just not the one for you, than to always be playing the "What if..." game.

You say you see her a lot right? So obviously there is no sense of urgency - as in the first conversation doesn't have to be - Indroduction, small chat, find out if she's single, find out if she's busy this weekend, find out her hobbies, find out... etc etc - since you see her a lot just take it one day at a time. Just work on introducing yourself to her, if you feel the conversation is getting dull or you have nothin more to say just tell her you have to go, say somethin like "Well it was nice to meet you, I gotta run now though - but I look forward to seein you around more and glad I have a name to match the pretty smile." (If you're feelin suave)

I think you're trying to do too much at once. I'm not sayin you should take all day to ask her out... but if you see her on a somewhat regular basis, then you can make small progressions in talking with her. Introduce yourself, make some small chat, tell her you have to go, cut the conversation off and then think of everything you picked up off that initial conversation to think of what you will say next time.

It's simple, if you want to know this girl, you have to get over your fears. Just remind yourself she's just another human being you're interested in getting to know, nothing more, nothing less.

for some reason I've regretted a lot of my situations even if I have tried and it's still bothering me with some women. How do you think I can get over this feeling of regret? For example, I regret missing certain opportunities to talk to a girl I had liked in the past. I still see her on campus and everytime I do, I feel so depressed and hurt. I just wanna get it over with haha. I know it's all in my head and I'm the only one who can change myself. I just need some motivation or something.

But yeah, I don't know why I make this out to be a bigger deal and even a problem than I think. I just want to go with the flow without a worry.