Saddest video I think I have ever seen.

[Aeradalia]

I'm sorry but I don't see how being spoiled can make you weaken your coping skills. That just doesn't make any sense to me.

Spoiled children are not taught appropriate social skills or even proper discipline. Their parents tailor the environment at home to suit what they have taught their children... however, what the children have been taught conflicts with how life really is. They expect the world to be as they were taught... and they expect their parents to somehow make it better for them when such conflicts arise.

Sadly, the world cannot and will not change for them... and since their parents have almost always changed everything to suit them... they lack coping skills to handle situations that are contradictory to how they were raised.

When you introduce a bully to a child who probably hasn't been insulted much, or even physically hurt... then they are traumatized, since they haven't had a chance to be desensitized to the emotional brutality and do not have a plan to deal with this... they feel helpless and incredibly insecure.

Have this situation repeat itself over and over again... this sense of helplessness increases to well beyond what the child can endure... eventually they will want a way to make this misery end... and sadly, some children see suicide as a way to end the torment.

This is how spoiling a child can make them weak to the tactics of a bully...

[Aeradalia]

Even if a child isn't protected as much doesn't mean that they are stronger though. The parenting (to me) wouldn't have anything to do with what hurts your feelings and what depresses you.

A child that isn't protected as much can be made stronger if the parent offers more or less controlled situations in which the child is taught about the situation they are to endure... given advice on how to cope.. and then sent out to 'experience' it. Once they've experienced something that is difficult... they can apply what they've learned to similar situations... even modifying it for more intense situations..

Parenting has to involve what hurts a child's feelings and what depresses them. It has to involve teaching children how to cope with their feelings... how to respond emotionally to most any situation (or related ones)... and to encourage them to be far more brave about situations they are unsure of or even frightened of.

Parents who fail to realize that children need to learn how to cope and control their emotions are putting their children at risk of being easily traumatized and possibly even suicidal when life throws conflict their way.

[DoesntMatter]

Girls feel very strongly about their opinions on child-rearing

[ecojeanne]

aera that is exactly true! my mom was a softie when it came to teaching me to care about people (which i carry with me to this day..even with understanding bullies altho sometimes i'm a bit of a sadist with bullies, i love making them feel like shit coz they are never that intelligent) my dad on the other hand was a terrible bully (calmed by mom's soft side) i had the best of both worlds by being able to cope and understand how to care but not take shit either

[Aeradalia]

Girls feel very strongly about their opinions on child-rearing

Feeling strongly about something is no guarantee you are right... all that matters is what works and what doesn't... The things I've said aren't my 'opinions'... they come from the child psychology courses I was taught in the alternative school (lots of prego's were there)... and from real-life observations of children raised properly and children not raised properly (maternal instincts are kicking in... now I'm fascinated by children... ugh).

[CocoChanel]

When you introduce a bully to a child who probably hasn't been insulted much, or even physically hurt... then they are traumatized, since they haven't had a chance to be desensitized to the emotional brutality and do not have a plan to deal with this... they feel helpless and incredibly insecure.

So how should a parent go about raising their child to be tough? Exposing them to physical hurt and insults?

What about the parent of the bully... why aren't their parenting skills being criticized? Why should the parent of the child being bullied take the guilt?

[ecojeanne]

my dad insulted me (not in a extreme way just incase you're thinking otherwise) all the time but he also made sure that i never went to bed upset, he ALWAYS apologised, he toughened me up but he also sent me to boarding school when i was at an age when most kids weren't being sent at mom's request. it was the best thing they ever did for me, i look back on those years with fondness coz i became a strong person. i wouldn't have if they hadn't done that coz dad always gave in when i would bring out the tears

[Aeradalia]

So how should a parent go about raising their child to be tough? Exposing them to physical hurt and insults?

What about the parent of the bully... why aren't their parenting skills being criticized? Why should the parent of the child being bullied take the guilt?

Yes... you expose the child slowly to such situations... while offering advice, guidance, and consolation (when necessary)... helping them to develop confidence in such situations... If a bully is bothering them at school... you have a long talk about how to handle it.. why a bully has singled them out... and if necessary (which it probably will be) teach them how to fight/defend themselves. They come home, beaten... defeated.. then you work on their skills more... tell them you are proud they stood up for themselves --- focus less on 'winning' and more on the principle of the thing -- they stood up for themselves.

Parents of the bully are heavily criticized... even the song is directed at bullies. However, parents of the children that committed suicide are criticized too... because they allowed their children to be 'unprotected'... in that they failed to teach them the coping skills they need for survival --- they sent them against a bully completely unarmed... There will always be bullies --- always --- it's up to the parents to teach their children how to deal with bullies.

[CocoChanel]

The parents of the suicide children...
What do you think they did while their children were being bullied at school?

And if the parents of the bullies are criticized heavily... why aren't you doing so in response to this video?

[ecojeanne]

the only thing they didn't teach me was how to deal with men!

[ecojeanne]

And if the parents of the bullies are criticized heavily... why aren't you doing so in response to this video?

whats the point of doing that? they have suffered the consequences, the best to come out of this would be to understand what not to do with the next child

[DoesntMatter]

Get a friend with one of these

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsXMb0GtS44"]YouTube - Glock 18[/ame]

[Aeradalia]

The parents of the suicide children...
What do you think they did while their children were being bullied at school?

And if the parents of the bullies are criticized heavily... why aren't you doing so in response to this video?

Coco.. I'm sure the parents did what they thought was right... but sadly it was psychologically wrong --- it didn't help the children cope with the abuse the bullies placed on them.

Because trying to make bullies stop picking on other kids is like trying to make all men on the planet stop watching porn.... it's not going to happen... so you have to move on to the part you can have the most success with --- and that's teaching children how to deal with bullies.

I don't care who's to blame... the blame game can go on forever... I care about giving kids the tools they need to cope so all this senseless suicide can stop. Sure, I could focus my energies on blaming the bullies... meanwhile another kid blows their brains out...

See my point? Focus on what will reduce the suicide rate... and I guarantee teaching children better coping skills will prove more successful than convincing bullies to stop bullying.

[CocoChanel]

whats the point of doing that? they have suffered the consequences, the best to come out of this would be to understand what not to do with the next child

Nobody should have to deal with a bully and I feel as if the parent of the bully should be criticized, not the victim's parents.

[CocoChanel]

Coco.. I'm sure the parents did what they thought was right... but sadly it was psychologically wrong --- it didn't help the children cope with the abuse the bullies placed on them.

Because trying to make bullies stop picking on other kids is like trying to make all men on the planet stop watching porn.... it's not going to happen... so you have to move on to the part you can have the most success with --- and that's teaching children how to deal with bullies.

I don't care who's to blame... the blame game can go on forever... I care about giving kids the tools they need to cope so all this senseless suicide can stop. Sure, I could focus my energies on blaming the bullies... meanwhile another kid blows their brains out...

See my point? Focus on what will reduce the suicide rate... and I guarantee teaching children better coping skills will prove more successful than convincing bullies to stop bullying.

Yes I see your point and thank you for explaining. I guess I just have more sympathy for the parent's child who committed suicide. My high school buddy who committed suicide wasn't spoiled and wasn't sheltered... but was bullied and did the same thing.