personally i find that most men carry a lot of emotional baggage simply because they find it difficult to disclose their feelings and talk about their problems: the highest percentage of suicides is in men aged 19 - 35 for these reasons. The question is do you want to be a lover of the person or a counselor? I've tried being both at the same time and it does not work. You get too wrapped up in trying to help the person that you lose all sense of reality and your needs. You start changing for them in hope that you change them and get them to open up to you.

everyone has insecurities and baggage: the question is do they have a strong enough mind to be able to move forward and learn from life's lessons or would they prefer to live in the past?

There is lots of things men do to get over someone likewise with woman. I suggest you read the book called 'the rules' just to give you an insight into men. I read it and cringed because I think I broke the first 5 rules on a first date few months ago. What ever you do though - don't live your life using the rules. Just go with the flow: whatever is meant to be will find it's way. If someone is stupid enough to walk away but smart enough to let them go.