I cheated...

[Rhaenes]

OK so long story short, my girlfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary, and 5 days later I cheated on her with my coworker. Now the truth is I really do believe I love my girlfriend, but I find her boring at times. My coworker and I were just hanging out as friends drinking with my roommate and a few other people. Everybody left(except for her, she invited herself to stay the night) and my roommate went to bed. So we we're just listening to music, and next thing you know were snuggling, and talking about how we get each other. Then she said she wanted to just lay down and snuggle. So we go to my room, and she gets out of her pants and hoodie Cruz apparently she sleeps in her underwear, so were laying in NY bed snuggling going to sleep and listening to music and I adjusted my hand on her back and she said "what are you trying to take off my bra?" I replied "no if I wanted it off it would be off" she continues on about how she bet I couldn't get it and how it was my one chance. And right then and there, its like my whole yearlong relationship flashed before my eyes, and I decided that I still kind of wanted to. So I did. And it was like opening Pandoras box...she kissed me and I kissed her, and we ended up going all the way. Now I don't know why but I always joked with myself, if I ever have a chance with her I'm taking it, and I guess that's what ultimately lead to my cheat. But I also feel there might be problems I'm not addressing in my relationship and so I was seeking fun else where... anyways just writing it off my chest, comments are welcome, I decided to never tell my gf and to never let it happen again... but who knows...

You've gotta tell her, man. If you love your girlfriend, it's the right thing to do. If you're confused as to why it happened... well, it's probably just basic human instinct. Everyone has fantasies and longs for variety, but hey, if you and your girlfriend are both open-minded maybe you have have that kind of fun together, you know? It was a bad idea to let this coworker just "invite herself over." Maybe if she was crashing on your couch cause she was wasted, but in your bed??? That should have raised some red flags o.O

[michelle23]

Let us no how it goes OP. Im being harsh for a reason here. Im not being a b**ch, i just think it was wrong and i hope you never do this again. Cheating is probably the most hurtful thing you can do to someone and there is no excuse for it. Learn how to keep it in ur pants or stay single in future

[jsilencio]

First of all, we can argue semantics all day....a mistake, a screw up, a blunder. The point being here is, we all know what he did. If you feel I'm downgrading his behavior to a simple "mistake", that's your own impression. Cheating is cheating, but why beat up on him, he knows what he did was wrong, all he's doing is trying to find his own salvation; which is my impression, and in the process he's learning something about people, himself and life.

All of the "Jerry Springer" reactions from some of you, don't net any advice for him.

Thank you bleucandle you summed it up in a nutshell. My gf will know shortly..

[jsilencio]

So my girlfriend came over and I sat down with her. I said babe I need to tell you something really important, she said OK with like a hesitant tone, and basically I told her I slept with somebody else. She asked me the girls name and I said "I won't tell you, the hatred and everything else your feeling right now she be aimed at me. I was the one who thought It'd be a good idea to share the bed. Could have slept on the couch." She replied with OK then were done here right? And just left.

[rob1984]

as shitty as this may be for you, it was probably the most unselfish act you have ever done in your life.. and it takes a real man to admit this to someone you love.. I applaud you. Now give her space, its her decision to forgive you, if she so chooses to. If not just be happy for her, she will respect you for telling the truth.

[bleucandle]

Jsilencio:

Just remember that life is still happening. She's certainly upset, and maybe you are, too. But you will also learn that in life, you must be able to close doors and understand that they may never re-open. You have locked this door, probably forever; but you will have grown from it, too. Life is for the living, and no one gets through this life unscathed. We will inadvertently hurt some hearts, purposely hurt hearts, and most certainly have our own hearts hurt...but you GROW everyday.

Good luck to you.

[jsilencio]

Moral of the story is I'm a dumb for doing what I did. I honestly believe that she deserves someone better then me. Because the truth is I myself have changed over the year, it wasn't the relationship that changed. I've become a fun loving party person, I was never really like this before I met her. I was always the shy kid. Who never talked to anybody. Am I sorry I cheated on her? Of course, considering I've never been the type of guy to cheat. Yes I'm sorry and I told her that. I wish I could've ended things on a better note.... but I learned from all of this, I learned how bad the guilt can eat away at you. And how devasting cheating is. Everybody here thank you for leading me down the right path.

[rob1984]

your true feelings for her will come out shortly when she is no longer there, but please do not form a relationship with the girl you cheated on, if she knew you had a gf, would you want to be with someone like that? good luck to you,

[jsilencio]

your true feelings for her will come out shortly when she is no longer there, but please do not form a relationship with the girl you cheated on, if she knew you had a gf, would you want to be with someone like that? good luck to you,

Yea I had no intentions on seeking a relationship with her. Honestly I'm not looking to get into another relationship any time soon anyway. I think I'll just try to enjoy being single, and hope that me and my ex can be friends one day like we were before we started dating. I still feel really bad about all of this. And I'm sure that won't go away for some time.

[michelle23]

Well done for telling the truth. Let her go now even if you start to miss her. If you get back together it will only hurt her more to be constantly reminded of what you did by having to look at you . You remind me of my ex. He was insecure when i met him-never had a gf or any confidence and being with me made him cocky. He cheated with the first girl to show him any attention and i know that i am much more attractive, more confident, nicer personality than the other girl. I think she was just more in his league tbh. I learned a lot from that which was stay away from insecure men.

Dont be surprised tho if OW completely loses all interest now though. Girls like her are only interested in taken men as it is some warped way of boosting her own self-esteem.

Congrats for being a man and telling the truth tho-my ex never did man up in the end. His loss

[rob1984]

exactly, if you 2 are meant to be you will.. even after my wife did what she did, she too went for someone not her type, skinny, scrawny..honestly not her type i know this.. I'm not conceited but I am way better looking.. however she womanned up.. I feel she's been through alot and maybe needed to feel beautiful to someone else for her self esteem to go up, it happens.. its like your mom saying you are beautiful, but sometimes its never enough.. she told me if we broke up.. we will be together one day again. Cause that is all she can see in her future.

Maybe your lady will come around as well. but do not pressure her, let her do it. Tell her you will take her back ( if you want to ) if she agrees, but take your time.

[michelle23]

He never loved her rob. He prob settled for her as all insecure people do and then constantly wonder is the grass greener. Hopefully he will be in a better place emotionally the next time he meets a special girl.

[rob1984]

yeah I guess, but sometimes you never know what you love until its gone. So he may get a reality check..

[michelle23]

If he does its too late. He should have ended it before hopping into bed with someone else-that way if he wanted to go back. He could. I think/hope a valuable life lesson has been learned here.