Why not be smart?

[xotrue]

I care about him.

[xotrue]

He has an ivy education. lol. I don't want to make excuses for him, because I know some of his behavior is totally inappropriate and unacceptable - but, I do wonder if this is because he is grieving, sometimes? He wasn't like this when I met him two years ago. I do think he is a bit controlling and tries to be like his father.

[michelle23]

I think he expects too much of you. Do you work too? Do you live together?

[xotrue]

I am a full-time student. I am graduating this year. We do not live together. We live 2 hours away from each other. 15 years age difference - I am 22 and he is 37.

[michelle23]

From everything youve said I think you would be better off without him. It sounds like he expects you to be his mother or a doormat

[smackie9]

The 15 year age difference would explain why he treats you like a father. You are still evolving as a person and maturing, he is middle aged. You are stating to see the bull sh it. Your lives, ideas, priorities, personalities are not compatible, largely due to the age factor.

[xotrue]

When we first met - I thought he was great and really cared about my values, the way i thought, who I was. Then, I realized that this person was trying to tell me who I was and no one knows me better than I know myself.

[michelle23]

Ask yourself a few questions: are you happy? Do you see a future with him? Would you be happier alone? Could you meet someone else ur own age who u wud be happier with?

Its decision time. Time to grow a psir and do what u think is best for you and your future happieness.

[IndiReloaded]

Yes and stop fighting over nothing. Its stupid and pointless. Ignore the little irritating things, dont read into everything he says, count to ten before barking at him, dont point out his flaws or criticize, dont nag.

If your upset or angry talk about it in a calm civil way. Learn to say I instead of you eg. "i feel like your not giving me enough affection" intead of "you never give me enough affection"

So you know, that's *not* an "I" statement example. That's a "you" with an "I" veneer.

"I feel like I'm not getting enough affection" = I statement.

[michelle23]

Good point my mistake.

My point was dont make it an attack on him, make it about you and how you feel. It sounds less like nagging so he might listen. Better communication all round