Girlfriend and I are fall out of the relationship feel

[overanxious]

I think you're missing the point, you're equating love to the amount of money spent on someone. She used to bake for you a buy you small things that showed she cared. She didn't buy you baseball tickets, therefore she didn't love you? The f*ck? Bro, the OP has problems with his gf doing nothing and wanting to keep it like that. You on the other hand pampered the sh*t out of your gf and were unhappy when she didn't spend a fortune back on you. Who in their right mind spends $1200 on someone for xmas? My god man, your problems are much different, you see a relationship balance based on dollars, not on feelings.

Your lesson is to invest less financially and more emotionally, because I assure you, you won't find many women who will spend the coin on you that you do on them. I've been dating my gf for 2 years and maybe the total sum of gifts including the trip to Vegas was $1200.

i can understand how you would come to that conclusion based on my post.....but you are way off in actuality...i did alot of things like that to make her feel special....the way the little things she did for me made me feel special.....i had more money at my disposal than her.....but my ex was similar to the OP's....she never worked....basically enough to pay her personals....eventually i got her geared towards a small career....and when she worked fulltime she spent most of the money on herself and blowing it all living paycheck to paycheck while having no real bills or responsibilities........i was never looking for the same coin to be reciprocated.....i was looking for an occasional sacrifice or a sign of love.....that it wasnt all one sided.....she could have done it....but she wouldnt because in her mind it was all about her....she put her own needs/wants above doing anything really special for me.....

[overanxious]

i understand how some would draw conclusions based on one post....but in reality its not even close......my ex fully enjoyed the benefits of me spending money on her....in fact when i stopped she grew agitated...not because i believe that was all she was after...but she had grown accustomed....i guess you guys dont read all my posts which is fine...but i spent thousands letting her pick out new appliances, floors, furtniture, etc for my place....paid her father 5k to do carpentry work for me....believing that when it was done she would find a job and wed settle in for awhile and save some money to buy a house in her home state.....and when it was nearing completion she complained how she couldnt find work...her mother was sick blah blah etc....so me believing maybe if she were near her family and more comfortable would change.....i said id move for her...nothing ever changed....no effort to a mature adult relationship...just her living at home while im paying for an apartment down the road.....ya she used to bake for me....thats ****in great...thats easy for her...it comes easy...being good wiht money didnt and i expressed the concern to her yet there was never any real effort to change.....yet when she had things about me she wasnt fond of i worked on them.........

let me explain something very easy.....she had terrible credit...so when we first got together she was driving a used beater....within weeks she had a nice used car....that was relatively new..of course her father had to put it under his name otherwise she wouldnt be able to get it....after awhile she was always behind on the payments...to the point he was getting pissed.....she was always a few months behind ....so eventually he wanted it off of his credit as he was in the process of trying to buy a 2nd home......this was made clear to me...as i even offered to make the payments for her on the car....which was rejceted(ok no big deal i dont care)....so i had an old junker in my backyard my uncle left before he moved to florida....so i let her father take it...make some repairs and i had to bend over backwards to get a new registration......no big deal...helping out someone i love.....so i mention this months later....and my ex is like "thats not why i got rid of it....i did it so my sister could get her car(from the same dealership)"......ummm ya ok....your sister got it under her own name...thats what i was originally told...but true to form any story gets twisted to make you look like you did something great and sacrificed....

[michelle23]

overanxious I hope you learn from this experience not to put your hand in your pocket so much so she doesn't grow accustomed to it and come to expect it.

Its fine if your with a strong, independent woman who has always looked after herself-nothing wrong with a bit of pampering, a nice romantic holiday for example or dinner for two but dont allow anyone to leech off you and take you for granted. Dont flash the cash too much in the beginning especially in the first 6 months so youll know that she is working, earning her own money and contributing financially should you decide to live together.