My log distance love

[Boisdevie]

She has a trust so she has some money. That's excellent news as she can now go and get herself a first class therapist.

[smackie9]

Yes that would be money well spent.

[Amazing Grace]

I think after over 4 and 12 thousand posts, this forum is your therapy! Or is it you play the game? Maybe... I play it better? lol
Oh please... like you know us.

[smackie9]

No just a hobby......I actually have real life experiences and relationships.

[Amazing Grace]

You need a new hobby. Something youre good at. =)

[smackie9]

Just because you don't like hearing the truth from me doesn't mean I'm not good at what I do.

[Amazing Grace]

Truth? As if I can write my truth here in a few pages in some corner of the net that means nothing? Oh come on. Really, go get yourself a new hobby. Do you like Metal Gear Solid? Its a great game, maybe you'd be good at that. Who I love writes about it. He is smart and handsome, and loves me. I'm young and learning. I have no fear we cant pull this off. Thanks for your advise that means nothing.

[violet11]

You're right, he pulls away many times in these 5 years. When he isn't, it is a beautiful thing..but he does, it is very hard for me to take and yes I am afraid. I am afraid of my life without him, and that really is the bottom line. He is gaming tonight and Im home now and not feeling so good and am pretty tired. He just got up around 3 or 4 ish and I am ending my day. He works nights. I cant call him, because he gets prank calls or people with unlisted numbers and even though when I do call, I talk or leave a message and I asked him to plug back the phone and he said "no"... deep down inside, I can feel he really doesnt want me..because tonight, I would have loved to talk to him on the phone or google voice for a little chat..its his night off, but Im sure he is doing only what he wants to do and Im usually later on after midnight to spend time with,,after all the other gaming fun and other things are over. We didnt talk but in a personal message place on an old forum that is mine that is dead now, but he and I use it to communicate at times ... the times he gets really sick of me and tells me he need personal space... I must be so terrible to want to express my want to love someone...maybe I dont know what Im doing, or how to do it proper...what is right or what is wrong or even acceptable to a man who has many times second guessed my feelings... it is hard to be far from someone you like and is your best friend..as much as he will let me online..I mean, I cant even phone him. He called my calls, spam for christs sake today... I had a kidney stone and I wanted to call him so many times from the hospital and his phone was unpluged and I had a surgery and stent put in..Id have loved to hear his voice... I did talk to his mom last week on the rare occassion I got lucky and the phone was plugged in..maybe she doesnt like me either, and she prefers its to be left out...but alas...here I am. But I really do thank everyone for their input as much as one can...to understand this thing Im in for the last 5 yrs. would take me 10 to write about it. Thank you for your thoughts..

I have a trust that was a gift to me when I turned 21. I can afford to live anywhere he wants. He wont even have to work if he doesnt want to. ... I had a bad today and I wanted to talk to him but of the years I spent online, I get to feel some things... it felt cold. Its true... we never met, or touched...I wished so many times I could have, like tonight... but I know Im not his happiness, his happiness is with games and writing ... most. If I were about that kind of happiness, I think we would have spent some time together this evening before it is so late..I try to hang out as long as I can to talk, because I know he loves his nights off and loves to video game and have his free time without me in it. He often told me I was smothering him, and I just feel not so good for him as I used to.. he didnt talk to me or even want to last weekend, ... and this weekend, he is just fine with that again. He is off saturday nights and monday nights..and I would love to stay up and chat with him,,we would talk of how it would be if we were together..talk of our hopes and dreams..it felt nice..I look forward to it.. but I dont think he does..or it has to be the right mood...like tonight I logged on at a time we agreed, and my friend died yesterday ..but I just learned today..and I tried to call him to comfort me or something...but he unplugs his phone, and I had no way of talking to him, ... I have no way of getting in touch with him at all if anything happens to me or with anyone or...anything. I dont know what I am to him these days... I cant even call him if I need him. Like tonight, I felt down but he told me he was happy and I didnt want to ruin that happy..so I told him Ill go and that i wasnt going to log on tomorow and not weekends anymore...the reason being, I feel like I beg for his time sometimes and like today I asked, and he didnt want to give me a time he would meet me to chat...I was hurt of that, because I look forward to our time...I love having a plan with him, you know? I waited up to chat, I was just so upset and I didnt want to ruin his night off... but I did want to talk, I just felt he was happy and nobody needs someone like me for such shit... What am I doing here? why do I do things I do? I wish I had a friend to talk to....so, thank you for replying.

Girl, I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like an idiot. Unplugging his phone? Huge red flag. Does he know about your trust fund, and that he will never have to work?

Also, saying you are smothering him means that he's probably giving you the cold shoulder a lot and that's making you desperate. He sounds really selfish.

And fwiw, I'm normally a softie on these things. But this really doesnt sound like a good situation.

[anastasis]

Always a bridesmaid and never a bride. Yep. Seen it once seen it a hundred times. Classic case of man lives with mom, man creeps on girl for 6 years since she was 15, man won't show his face because... (something real strange is afoot), girl falls hopelessy in love and then the phone gets cut off because it's getting too close and that just ruins the creeper vibes.

Well, suck it up, junior. Could have been worse. You could have actually ended up with him. And wow, nobody wants to see that happen. I wouldn't wish that one my worst enemy. You'll do ok, kid. Rub it out and forget it.

Have a very merry Christmas. Blessings. :-)

[Boisdevie]

I think after over 4 and 12 thousand posts, this forum is your therapy! Or is it you play the game? Maybe... I play it better? lol
Oh please... like you know us.

Nobody forces you to come here and ask questions. If you don't like it why not just **** off.

[Amazing Grace]

Gee Capt. Obvious nobody forces me to do anything, and I also have my own opinion, just like anyone else here! I'm not novice to those who sit on the nets just waiting to sit behind their screen to type words they themselves can't live and at best, don't. But there is much to be said when someone says they post "advice" about love on a net forum out of so many "love forums" as a "hobby." As if said person went to school and has some kind of diploma in the subject. LOL My God, lighten up! It's love. It's not supposed to be written in stone, its to make your own and be happy. Not every day is a bowl of cherries just because someone says they love you. I just came here to chat and talk it out. But when someone tells me to see a therapist, know what I think? It takes one to know one. =) Want to join me? tee-hee

He does know of my trust. We both won't ever have to work again, but I'm still thinking of accepting it. I have my own dreams and things I want to do, and so does he. Money can't buy happiness, but it can do much good if in the right hands. I'm not so sure mine are the best hands.

To Anastasia! Thank you! <3

Also, we have seen each others faces...hes is soooo handsome... =)

[Boisdevie]

Also, we have seen each others faces...hes is soooo handsome... =)

Gosh how exciting. At your rate of progress you might even get to meet each other by, say, 2035.

[Amazing Grace]

Oh that would be silly.. I think sooner than that!

[smackie9]

So he is excited this will be happening soon?

[myrabell]

I agree that long distance relationships are so hard. please hang in there and be true to yourself