porn revelation is destroying me

[CocoChanel]

Congrats
Happy endings are cool

[someguy1984]

But that ultimately, if I want to have a trusting and honest relationship, then this is something that I need to come to grips with. As I said, the door is open now for more honesty between us, and that can only ever be a good thing.

Right on.

P.S. I'm one of the guys who doesn't find much of an interest in porn and I'm not a liar! lol

[SAVANAH]

Just because your man watches porn does NOT mean his cheating on you or anything of that kind....
Of cause you'd prefer to be with a man who does not watch it and I'm sure there are males that don't but if he does it shouldn't be much of a problem, it's normal and safe...

I partially agree to what Coco has said but I can't help that Ive never had a problem with porn or being with someone who watches it, all your points are valid and I suppose you just have to bear in there and be glad his telling you, his trying to get closer to you by telling this and you pushing him away.... whether his with you or some other female he will still be watching porn...

Don't take it the wrong way he loves you!

[bluesummer]

How is what you said anything like what I said?

You are not being over the top. Men like to justify their actions by using their masculinity as a reason. Saying you love a person and cheating on them mentally doesn't add up but somehow men have made it our problem when we are affected by their porn watching. They say it's normal for them and it's no big deal, they still love you and don't desire the women in the videos. They label us as the problem and with insecurities because we don't accept their washed up excuses which is really a porn addiction if you ask me.

Sure, you validate that men like visual stimuli, but you make it sound like some weakness in their personality, or a lack of 'control'. You say thinking of someone else sexually is cheating, and you're also saying that women having an issue with it doesn't make them insecure.

Basically, I disagreed with all of that.

Any woman who doesn't KNOW she's better than some trashy cum receptacle that her man occasionally spanks it to, is insecure. That's all he views her as, too. It's not like he wants to leave you to be with a porn star, yeesh.

[LoveHurts09]

Right on.

P.S. I'm one of the guys who doesn't find much of an interest in porn and I'm not a liar! lol

yh, we got that the first 100 times u typed it, do u feel special now? grats but dont celebrate too soon u may just realise that isn't a good thing.... i highly doubt u will realise that tho.


OT: u only needed to ask urself one question - why didnt he tell u in the first place?
the 'who watches porn debate' is not important.

u seem to have worked it out well, just remember every1 is different and so is the way they see things.

[bluesummer]

You know what would weird me out? A guy who said...."I've never looked at porn, nor do I have any desire to."

Red flag for three reasons. He is most likely either:

1)Gay
2)A liar
3)Raised in a strict religious household

All traits in a man that I do not desire

[someguy1984]

yh, we got that the first 100 times u typed it, do u feel special now? grats but dont celebrate too soon u may just realise that isn't a good thing.... i highly doubt u will realise that tho.


OT: u only needed to ask urself one question - why didnt he tell u in the first place?
the 'who watches porn debate' is not important.

u seem to have worked it out well, just remember every1 is different and so is the way they see things.

The only thing i "realize" is that you don't know how to spell, or type for that matter...

Other than that, it's a personal choice. Either you watch often, or you don't...I have no problem with anyone who does...

Therefore, who the hell are you to say: "dont celebrate too soon u may just realise that isn't a good thing..." It's neither good or bad.

For some reason your trying to p*ss me off by saying it's not good i don't watch pornography while in a relationship?

Wow...Because that makes a load of sense.

[Gigabitch]

Other than that, it's a personal choice. Either you watch often, or you don't...I have no problem with anyone who does...

I started this thread in order to stop you from threadjacking this one. Now knock it off. If you want to post about your porn-free lifestyle, do it here:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/intimate-forum/33626-guys-only-do-you-watch-porn.html[/url]

[someguy1984]

I started this thread in order to stop you from threadjacking this one. Now knock it off. If you want to post about your porn-free lifestyle, do it here:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/intimate-forum/33626-guys-only-do-you-watch-porn.html[/url]

I must say, your screen name is perfect for your attitude. I never said i had a porn free lifestyle almighty one...

You must get very offensive when you meet someone who is actually honest with what they say. You don't know how to act, so sarcasm is the only way, eh?

lol, what do i expect from someone who has over 12,000 posts on a love forum...Do you tell your friends your so popular, or hide it?

lol, sorry for taking your cool seniority away...

I'll just delete my account in general.

Peace

[Gigabitch]

You're jacking someone else's thread, asshole. Knock it the **** off. Enjoy your 10-day ban.

[insecure]

Thanks everyone.

Well, the reason he didn't tell me in the first place is that he knew what it would have done to me (emotionally) earlier. As much of a cop out that might initially sound, I actually agree with him. I was much worse off than I am now emotionally, very depressed and unwell generally, so I do understand. He wanted to spare me that, and also didn't feel boastfully proud at all of it either, so I do understand that.

I am so glad in this regard that he feels I am up to hearing it, and that we've got this "out there".

He is really willing to talk about this with me, as awkward and hard it is to answer some of my questions.
I guess, if he is going to watch it, then I want to know ultimately. Better than being lied to, incredibly naive or in denial, or hidden from me.

I am coming around slowly to accepting it. I'm working hard to not let it get under my skin as it has been and ripping my self confidence out from under me. I know well enough that I have a good figure and am considered generally pretty/attractive. I have worked very hard to be comfortable in my skin, and from what he was saying last night, he finds me very attractive. The fact is that there are always going to be people in the world that look different/better than you. I think what I have to come around to realising is this; being in love with someone, and finding other people "attractive" can be mutually exclusive. It is what is done with these impulses that matters.

[bluesummer]

^ Exactly, I think you're getting the right idea now. I think you'll be okay in the long run.

[Gigabitch]

I agree. You're going to be fine.

[CocoChanel]

LOL Some women these days are just so accepting of the craziest things. Myself included.

[Charlie Boy II]

^^^I was just thinking the same thing.