Delicate situation with girlfriend on topic of rape

[dickriculous]

^This should be left to the authorities to decide. Then men should be reported.

I might agree with this if not for the fact that a man who gets accused of rape could very well be ****ed even if it is proven that she is lying. Hell, in some cases his entire family is ****ed even if it's proven that she is lying - check out the documentary "falsely accused" for the quintessential example of this. And even if it's proven that she is lying she will get away with it without any charges, and no compensation of any kind is provided to who the real victim is in this case - the man. Rape cases have a history of being handled very poorly by both the authorities and the general public - there's even cases of men being accused of rape, proven innocent, and then everyone in his hometown threatening to murder him after he was proven innocent.

Rape accusations and reports are not a joke, the ambiguous word of some chick who plays the "OMG YOU'RE VICTIM BLAMING!!!" card as a means to dodge every single question that anyone has isn't enough to file a report on.

[smackie9]

Like I said, being a victim myself I would never put myself in that position again....that is why I call BULLSHIT on this. Big fat BULLSHIT.

[dem862]

There is no proof a crime has been committed. For all we know, this girl could have been willingly gang banged and then felt guilty so she concocted some rape story. You have to use some critical thinking here. Don't accept everything you read on the internet as the truth.

[searock]

Dem, if that were the case, she wouldn't have gone and told her boyfriend, don't you think?

We really need to shift the focus here, from her to the rapists. OP, you need to help your girlfriend find the courage to report them. Even if her family isn't helping her, those bastards deserve to rot in jail or they'll do it again, to her or to someone else.

[XyOh]

I might agree with this if not for the fact that a man who gets accused of rape could very well be ****ed even if it is proven that she is lying. Hell, in some cases his entire family is ****ed even if it's proven that she is lying - check out the documentary "falsely accused" for the quintessential example of this. And even if it's proven that she is lying she will get away with it without any charges, and no compensation of any kind is provided to who the real victim is in this case - the man. Rape cases have a history of being handled very poorly by both the authorities and the general public - there's even cases of men being accused of rape, proven innocent, and then everyone in his hometown threatening to murder him after he was proven innocent.

Rape accusations and reports are not a joke, the ambiguous word of some chick who plays the "OMG YOU'RE VICTIM BLAMING!!!" card as a means to dodge every single question that anyone has isn't enough to file a report on.

"Crying Rape" is a real concern, but not statistically viable to keep situations like this from being reported. You can find reports such as the United Kingdom's Crown Persecution Service publication regarding wasted police time reporting false accusations that 35 out of 5,651 or .6% of women accused men of rape. It's very unfortunate that false accusations exist and that these men's lives are ruined, but with all legal systems we can't aspire to perfection, just a functionality as close to perfection as possible.

True there are documentaries that tell the stories of these men, but based on these statistics, for every documentary produced there can be 161 documentaries of a woman who has been raped. Once again, this occurrence is vulgar and sad, but not enough for me to turn my back on any crime regardless of what is known of the victim.

[chinagirl]

The OP never answered the question how old is the girl he is talking about here? I don't get it either that she keeps on putting herself in a very serious and dangerous situation.

There is something missing here. So the men raped her before, she reported it to the brother and the mother. Nothing was done. Why not report it to the cops. Is it a cultural thing?

And if she was traumatized by it, why keep doing it over and over?

When I was in my early twenties, my apartment got robbed, naturally, I reported it to the cops. But because of fear that it will happen again, and because I felt that my home was violated, I moved out because anything around that house reminded me of the unpleasant memory of being robbed.

I agree that the guys should be investigated but I have to question the girls judgment as well.

[XyOh]

Like I said, being a victim myself I would never put myself in that position again....that is why I call BULLSHIT on this. Big fat BULLSHIT.

I would say that is a valid opinion if you were a judge or member of a jury of this case and you heard both sides of the incident(s) from the victim and the accused.

- - - Updated - - -

There is no proof a crime has been committed. For all we know, this girl could have been willingly gang banged and then felt guilty so she concocted some rape story. You have to use some critical thinking here. Don't accept everything you read on the internet as the truth.

In many cases of rape, it is difficult to prove that the crime was committed. A woman would have to report to the authorities immediately after without showering in hopes that any evidence can be collected at all. Most women are too psychologically affected to make a decision such as this immediately. That doesn't mean that it shouldn't be reported.

[dem862]

Dem, if that were the case, she wouldn't have gone and told her boyfriend, don't you think?

Ha. Far be it from me to try to explain the reasoning of a woman. But as a man, if I were being raped, I wouldn't go back, would you?

[searock]

Most rapes actually go unreported. It's much easier (much!) for a real rape to not be reported, than for a false rape accusation to be thrown.

[url]http://www.rainn.org/statistics[/url]

[XyOh]

Ha. Far be it from me to try to explain the reasoning of a woman. But as a man, if I were being raped, I wouldn't go back, would you?

If a forest was full of robbers, you wouldn't continue to walk through it. Does that change the fact that the robbers are committing a crime?

[dem862]

If a forest was full of robbers, you wouldn't continue to walk through it. Does that change the fact that the robbers are committing a crime?

No, but if a person repeatedly walks through the forest and repeatedly claims to get robbed, what would you think of that?

[dickriculous]

"Crying Rape" is a real concern, but not statistically viable to keep situations like this from being reported. You can find reports such as the United Kingdom's Crown Persecution Service publication regarding wasted police time reporting false accusations that 35 out of 5,651 or .6% of women accused men of rape. It's very unfortunate that false accusations exist and that these men's lives are ruined, but with all legal systems we can't aspire to perfection, just a functionality as close to perfection as possible.

True there are documentaries that tell the stories of these men, but based on these statistics, for every documentary produced there can be 161 documentaries of a woman who has been raped. Once again, this occurrence is vulgar and sad, but not enough for me to turn my back on any crime regardless of what is known of the victim.

Of all the studies and research that has been done on this topic, the most frequently quoted are the ones that make false rape accusations out to be an extreme minority of cases. However, these studies are not without controversy, many forensics experts have brought them under heavy scrutiny. Here are some other findings that the general public will never hear about unless we look for them ourselves

Rumney (2006)
A selection of findings on the prevalence of false rape allegations. Data from Rumney (2006). Number False reporting rate (%)
Theilade and Thomsen (1986) 1 out of 56
4 out of 39 1.5% (minimum)
10% (maximum)
New York Rape Squad (1974) n/a 2%
Hursch and Selkin (1974) 10 out of 545 2%
Kelly et al. (2005) 67 out of 2,643 3% ("possible" and "probable" false allegations)
22% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Geis (1978) n/a 3–31% (estimates given by police surgeons)
Smith (1989) 17 out of 447 3.8%
U.S. Department of Justice (1997) n/a 8%
Clark and Lewis (1977) 12 out of 116 10.3%
Harris and Grace (1999) 53 out of 483
123 out of 483 10.9% ("false/malicious" claims)
25% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Lea et al. (2003) 42 out of 379 11%
HMCPSI/HMIC (2002) 164 out of 1,379 11.8%
McCahill et al. (1979) 218 out of 1,198 18.2%
Philadelphia police study (1968) 74 out of 370 20%
Chambers and Millar (1983) 44 out of 196 22.4%
Grace et al. (1992) 80 out of 335 24%
Jordan (2004) 68 out of 164
62 out of 164 41% ("false" claims)
38% (viewed by police as "possibly true/possibly false")
Kanin (1994) 45 out of 109 41%
Gregory and Lees (1996) 49 out of 109 45%
Maclean (1979) 16 out of 34 47%
Stewart (1981) 16 out of 18 90%



So if we bring more than just one study into the equation the percentage of false rape accusations is....anywhere between 1.5% and 90%?!?! That's as good as saying "nobody has any ****ing idea how many false rape accusations happen".


You may have heard the saying "there are lies, there are blatant lies, and there are government statistics"...yeah

[searock]

Ha. Far be it from me to try to explain the reasoning of a woman.

Yeah, because our brains and feelings are so fundamentally different. Ooh boy.

As she said, she doesn't want her freedom to be limited because of those rapists. She wants to go where she wants and drink as much as she wants without having to get raped. Her rapists should be forbidden from those parties, not her. She is trying to get help from her family members and from her boyfriend. If the cops aren't going to do anything about it, her loved ones should. Those bastards should be kicked out of the house never to be invited again. Instead what everyone is doing is shifting the blame on her.

- - - Updated - - -

No, but if a person repeatedly walks through the forest and repeatedly claims to get robbed, what would you think of that?

Again, shifting the focus. Why haven't the thieves been kicked out of the forest yet? Why are they there in the first place?

[dem862]

Yeah, because our brains and feelings are so fundamentally different. Ooh boy.

As she said, she doesn't want her freedom to be limited because of those rapists. She wants to go where she wants and drink as much as she wants without having to get raped. Her rapists should be forbidden from those parties, not her. She is trying to get help from her family members and from her boyfriend. If the cops aren't going to do anything about it, her loved ones should. Those bastards should be kicked out of the house never to be invited again. Instead what everyone is doing is shifting the blame on her.

There are differences between the male and female brain, or did you skip that day in anatomy class. But in particular the hormonal systems have some very major differences.

So, her mother, brother, and boyfriend don't give her enough credibility to take this seriously enough to report it to the authorities. But a bunch of strangers on the internet have enough information to convict, sentence, and execute. There's your Ooh Boy!

[XyOh]

Of all the studies and research that has been done on this topic, the most frequently quoted are the ones that make false rape accusations out to be an extreme minority of cases. However, these studies are not without controversy, many forensics experts have brought them under heavy scrutiny. Here are some other findings that the general public will never hear about unless we look for them ourselves

Rumney (2006)
A selection of findings on the prevalence of false rape allegations. Data from Rumney (2006). Number False reporting rate (%)
Theilade and Thomsen (1986) 1 out of 56
4 out of 39 1.5% (minimum)
10% (maximum)
New York Rape Squad (1974) n/a 2%
Hursch and Selkin (1974) 10 out of 545 2%
Kelly et al. (2005) 67 out of 2,643 3% ("possible" and "probable" false allegations)
22% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Geis (1978) n/a 3–31% (estimates given by police surgeons)
Smith (1989) 17 out of 447 3.8%
U.S. Department of Justice (1997) n/a 8%
Clark and Lewis (1977) 12 out of 116 10.3%
Harris and Grace (1999) 53 out of 483
123 out of 483 10.9% ("false/malicious" claims)
25% (recorded by police as "no-crime")
Lea et al. (2003) 42 out of 379 11%
HMCPSI/HMIC (2002) 164 out of 1,379 11.8%
McCahill et al. (1979) 218 out of 1,198 18.2%
Philadelphia police study (1968) 74 out of 370 20%
Chambers and Millar (1983) 44 out of 196 22.4%
Grace et al. (1992) 80 out of 335 24%
Jordan (2004) 68 out of 164
62 out of 164 41% ("false" claims)
38% (viewed by police as "possibly true/possibly false")
Kanin (1994) 45 out of 109 41%
Gregory and Lees (1996) 49 out of 109 45%
Maclean (1979) 16 out of 34 47%
Stewart (1981) 16 out of 18 90%



So if we bring more than just one study into the equation the percentage of false rape accusations is....anywhere between 1.5% and 90%?!?! That's as good as saying "nobody has any ****ing idea how many false rape accusations happen".

You bring up some interesting aspects, dickriculous, but you should note that your highest percentage came from a demographic pool of 18 people. The higher the demographic the lower the percentage rate becomes in most studies. Some of these studies would be difficult to consider without me reading all of them since they were published more than twenty or thirty years ago. Also, for most of these reports (unless you expect me to read them all) could vary the percentage greatly based off of population density. Smaller towns could present a bias towards accusing women of false accusation because of the high probability that then men are well known or respected. Not to mention, small populations tend to be more patriarchal and there would be a bias towards a man's defense. I chose the UK study because it picks from a moderately large pool in a large population. There are certainly a lot of variables consider, but my position still stands. Thank you however for having a well thought out and well argued opinion on the matter.