Right, but they could go out and find something similar, or even *gasp* better if they could just let go of whatever keeps leading them down these unproductive paths.
Most ppl in these situations know there's a problem, which makes it all the more strange that they continue beating on the glass to reach the flame. Its really just the thrill of the chase, in these cases. Once they get what they 'want' they often find they don't even want it anymore. Best to just leave off in the first place. But how many have the self-control for that? That's the lesson, I think for many of these cases: to learn the futility of changing anything except oneself. Its interesting, tho, b/c once you learn that, you can influence others, usually by example.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh