LDR and the sacrifices i made!

[loudrims_inc]

ok i been hesitant to give you all this update but here it goes...<<sighs>> the reason why its so hard for her to just get up and move is because...<<sighs again>>...she is MARRIED but SEPERATED!!!!!! She finally found the "whatever" to tell me this on the same day i left to come back home!!!!!!!!!!! It took me by surprise when i 1st found this out but for some strange reason, i couldnt get mad!! Maybe because i love her so much that nothing can stop me from loving her? i dont know...

...i been frustrated and confused for the passed few weeks since i found all this out but i still love her the same way i loved her when i 1st fell in love with her, if not, MORE! Is this weird?

Although we been thru some rough patches! I am proud to say that she is the best thing that happened to me in a very long time!

Soooooo this is why she has to wait and receive her settlement money so she can get a lawyer and file for a divorce...

[IndiReloaded]

Oh man. Is *that* who is waiting in the homeland? A pyscho husband?

Just keep those expectations reigned in Loud. To about 2 inches. There is a good chance you are a rebound and/or emotional crutch for this woman.

I don't think you deserve to be shredded.

I know someone like this who was married to a complete asshole. She left the country to get away from the ass, and is happily remarried now but it took her a while to get over it. Give her LOTS of space to grow and find herself or this birdie will fly.

[Primo]

No, I don't think that's where psycho husband is Indi.

LR, I saw your update and my gut instinct kicked in quick, but I re-read the thread to make sure I hadn't skimmed over anything when this was going on. I can guarantee you that she doesn't live with her crazy sister and wacked out brother in-law, or whatever combination she 'says' it is. Go knock on her door unannounced and watch Mr Psycho husband answer, I'd bet anything on it.

Welcome to the world we just went back 'n forth about for a few pages on the Off Topic board. Don't take this the wrong way, but I have a feeling your girlfriends definition of seperated is staying on her side of the bed or sleeping on the couch...been there, experienced that, several times.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh LOL. Yes, that does make far more sense.

Sucks for Loud, either way, really.

[Primo]

It does suck LR. I know you're attached and in love/lust, but honestly there's no way around it, you're going to have to let it go. Tell her how you feel, but that she has to get her personal life 'completely' resolved and then get back in touch with you. Relocating to the spare bedroom isn't enough

I know it's hard, I shouldn't joke around, but consider it a life lesson learned

[qwertz]

I agree with primo, ive been following this thread and as soon as i read your update i instantly thought 'she still lives with him'

I'd say, give her an ultimatum, either she moves straight away or you end it.
You need to do one or the other to save you hurting even more in the long run.

And try not to let love cloud your judgment (easier said than done, i know)

[loudrims_inc]

Thanks guys!!! OMG, everything u all said makes complete sense, wow...Now i have a million thoughts brewing in my head, i been blinded with Love! I think you guys are right, i need to let this go or i am walking myself into a world of Hurt even more then whats already been but then again, i knew what i was getting into even after i found out the facts! hmmmm....i have to think about this...but for some reason, idk y but i still beleive she really is living with her sis and bro in law!

btw, i gave all u a shout out on FB, hence, my sig

[qwertz]

Thanks guys!!! OMG, everything u all said makes complete sense, wow...Now i have a million thoughts brewing in my head, i been blinded with Love! I think you guys are right, i need to let this go or i am walking myself into a world of Hurt even more then whats already been but then again, i knew what i was getting into even after i found out the facts! hmmmm....i have to think about this...but for some reason, idk y but i still beleive she really is living with her sis and bro in law!

btw, i gave all u a shout out on FB, hence, my sig

That reason is love. I would be be genuinely shocked if she does live with her sis.

[loudrims_inc]

Quick rewind: She spent the weekend in Toronto with her "sister and bro in law"....

So thats it! its over!! This is how my morning started: She came on yahoo this morning and sent me about 20 messages while i was sleep asking me where i was...i finally woke up and i told her i was sleep. So we began talking and she knew something was bothering me but i kept insisting i was ok. After a few mins, she was bothered by the fact that i didnt email her yesterday so she kept asking me to tell her the truth. The following is word for word...

Me (11/23/2009 10:14:27 AM): ...im not gone lie to u...ever since u told me u was married to that ****ing guy, my heads been "messed" up! u have to understand how i feel and where im coming from.

Her (11/23/2009 10:15:11 AM): and i know that u im not stupet but i dont spend my weknd with him

Her (11/23/2009 10:15:30 AM): i know what u thinking

Her (11/23/2009 10:15:37 AM): and i know is hard

Me (11/23/2009 10:15:50 AM): ok well after all these mysteries u think i dont think about it

Her (11/23/2009 10:15:59 AM): and u descide what u want to do cause i dont want u to be strssed out

Me (11/23/2009 10:16:25 AM): HA! Listen...ima telll u something...

Me (11/23/2009 10:17:17 AM): u want to talk about stress? i know what your going thru is stressful but im stressed out too, y do u think i take sleeping pills almost every night??

Me (11/23/2009 10:17:44 AM): i dont take them because i like them

Me (11/23/2009 10:17:58 AM): i take them because i cant sleep anymore

Basically this is what lead to the break up! So Officially its OVER!

Her last words to me were, "im doing this for you...kiss"...then she left

[IndiReloaded]

"im doing this for you...kiss"

Ha, what a crock. I'll post more later, but LD you are way better off without this selfish woman That statement is her way of trying to feel better about herself for being a cheat. It has nothing to do with you. Do not fall for this BS. If she was truly thinking of you, she would never have lied to you.

I know it hurts but see the situation for what it really is: she's a liar and a cheat who used you as an emotional tampon to avoid dealing with her marriage problems.

If she had any self-control or integrity she would have let you go *before* the visit and the sex.

Remember: If she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you.

PS - get yourself tested. Who knows who else this chick has got believing her stories. You have no reason to think you are the only one.

[CocoChanel]

LR I'm so glad Primo and Indi brought that to life because I was thinking it but skeptical. She has to be living with him that's why she can't call you. Blah....

[Primo]

LR welcome to the real world bro...nice little reality check isn't it? It's a learning experience, that's it dude...try not to read too much into it. Chicks can be playa's too

Look at it this way, you're stud enough that she wanted to play you, how's that for a positive spin?