The unbelievable chances of meeting her and nothing happens

[1234567]

Hello all!
Whoa.... I've probably sunk to a new low right now. Seeking advice from random people on the internet? Is that weird or what? Meh! I've got nothing to lose. So here it goes.
Ahh.... so I've just started college (undergraduate studies if you're not from the USA) and I seriously wasn't searching for a 'girlfriend' and certainly not for 'love'. I would call myself a cynical person and if you've ever watched 'The Big Bang Theory', you would compare me to the 'Sheldon' character (with a bit of Howard's character traits). Now, I've met this wonderful girl. In my mind I was really surprised to find a girl that had the same life goal as me, is interested in my field of study and comes from the same cultural background as me.

But I've hit a problem. During the first week of college, we met and talked about various things and I eventually met her friends. However, the 'one on one' conversations consisted of numerous awkward silences. I don't think she liked those silences and thereafter she avoided me (I was quite clingy). I asked her why she's been avoiding me and she simply replied: 'We don't have much in common'. Those silences were probably my fault because I'm generally very shy. Unfortunately, I was acting pretty silly so I just ran off after she told why she's been avoiding me. A depressing month later, I finally wrote her an email apologizing for my weird behavior. She was OK with it and was glad she got an email from me. Thereafter, we got a few conversations going but there was no spark (I didn't expect one). Yet there were a few instances when she was happy to see me but at other times, she seemed reluctant to talk (she talked to other guys though). I simply don't like 'chit-chat' and it's of my personal opinion that the best conversation is one that explores some deep issues. This is probably one of the reasons for those awkward silences. I could really list all of the things I like about her but I'm telling you now that she's a brilliant girl that I don't want let go. She has this effect on me that prompted me to read some Shakespeare and write poems. I just can't get her out of my mind.

I'm setting myself up for disappointment but Shakespeare once said: 'The course of true love never did run smooth' Now, I'm completely clueless as to what would be the next course of action. Any ideas?

[pisces25]

You do seem to be going very full-on with the deep stuff, which is ok if you have a partner that feels equal about that but unfortunately a lot of people get turned off by that in the very beginning of a romance. I have a male friend that seems to scare chicks off as he very early on gets very deep and meaningful and I think until he finds someone as equally as deep right off he will struggle to connect with the vast majority of women. Not to say you have to change yourself or settle for someone that doesn't share common traits with you but my advice would be just to ease up on the heavy stuff until you get to know each other a bit better. Some people just like 'chit chat' and believe it or not you can learn a bit about someone through just chatting about general, mundane things. If you truly are like 'Sheldon' then you will have to make some minor adjustments to fit into the norm of society if you wish to progress with this girl (if you do want to date her). Again not saying you have to change however maybe just relax and bend your own rules a bit. If she is worth it then you should be able to reach a compromise with yourself to do this. Once you get to know each other then you can engage and connect on that deeper level. Hope this helps.

[Glea]

Hey,

I wouldn't have spoken any better than pisces25.

I don't mean to be rude or offensive but you sound (too) nice, well-mannered (like almost hung up) and ... at the end of the day, you're dull. You'd fit a 16th century painting, but the point is we're in 2011. See what i mean?
Not the right recipe to seduce any girl or potential boymate either. You freaked this girl out and i bet you will have just the same effect on any other girl.

You should learn to enjoy the petty things of life. Put a touch of craziness and spontaneity in your lifestyle and actions. I promise it won't prevent you from remaining this deep smart person you are.

[devonbrown]

You said yourself that you were clingy. And clingy often smells like desperate to women. And desperation is not attractive to women.

While I understand you still like her, try to stop looking at her as a possible romance. But more than that, look around at other girls who might want to go out. Build up your confidence and self-esteem. Shyness is tough, but not impossible to overcome. If you are just starting school, look into some on-campus activities through the student union or something like that.

Basically, your logical side should be telling you that this girl is not the be-all and end-all of the universe, so follow that thought.

And there is nothing wrong with reading Shakespeare and writing poetry. Consider it a growth experience.

Good luck.