Are most men doomed to be with women that choose them, not with women they choose?

[stk]

I feel that ladies have the upper hand when it comes to love. Am I right?

[Krissykris]

No way! If you're meaning the whole nice guy finishes last thing, then yah girls have teh upper hand, but if you have a guy who is confident and a jack ass then they have the upper hand.

[LailaK]

Hahaha! I was just having this convo with a friend of mine.

I really don't think that it's women vs. guys. I think it's based on who wants the relationship more.

Example: When I really like a guy, of course I want to date him. Because of this, he has the upper hand. Whether or not we date is up to him. On the other hand, if the guy is more into me, I have the ultimate decision on whether we date.

[MissAnn]

Hahaha! I was just having this convo with a friend of mine.

I really don't think that it's women vs. guys. I think it's based on who wants the relationship more.

Example: When I really like a guy, of course I want to date him. Because of this, he has the upper hand. Whether or not we date is up to him. On the other hand, if the guy is more into me, I have the ultimate decision on whether we date.

This is called the Principle of Least Interest and has acutally been studied scientifically. The term was coined in 1938 by a sociologist named Willard Wallard who found that in relationships where someone had less interest in continuing the relationship, they also had more control. It has been studied recently as well: [url=http://jfi.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/27/9/1255]The Principle of Least Interest: Inequality in Emotional Involvement in Romantic Relationships -- Sprecher et al. 27 (9): 1255 -- Journal of Family Issues[/url].

Lest this come across as a promotion of "game playing' or trying to make your partner think you are less interested to gain power, scientists have found that happier and longer-lasting relationships occur when both people have similar levels of interest and control.

[Gigabitch]

I have felt that I was in control of the duration and direction of almost every relationship I've ever been in.

[ChristianonLI]

Until women collectively lower their standards down to "he doesn't hit me and doesn't cheat on me" instead of today's more prevalent "he can't possibly move the Earth to a different orbital path at my request" then yes, the vast majority of us men will be doomed to be at a disadvantage.

[Mish]

To see the obvious flaw in this question all you need is rephrase it:

Are most women doomed to be with men that choose them, not with men they choose?