My vacation romance

[BFTrick]

Hello all, I guess Im just writing down my thoughts, Hearing your comments would be great.

Alright this is a long story so Ill try to sum it up. I know a girl, but due to her overseas schooling I havent seen her since last year. I have only met her a few times but Im crushing on her. She is an intriguing person and I want to get to know her more. Im visiting my family (also overseas) so we arranged to visit each other. This visit turned into a trip to Morocco! So I will meet her there and we will be there for 5 days together just hanging out in the city Marrakesh (sp), going to the market, exploring the city, etc.

Im wondering if I should even reveal my feelings to her. 5 days isnt a whole lot of time to romance.

If i do want to romance her then how should i go about it? after checking out her facebook page it is obvious she attracts a lot of males attention. From the little i have read between the lines I think and hope she likes me back.

After considering the above I have come to conclusion that perhaps I should play it cool. If she is into me and I play hard to get, Im hoping that she will dig it since it seems unusual to her.

One final thing to note is that she will be coming back to my school fall semester, so if I dont blow it there is a chance for the romance in the future.

I would love to hear everyones thoughts on this. Whether it will go well/poorly, and if you have any suggestions.

[TheSphinx]

Just relax and enjoy yourself. Have some idea of fun activities and places to visit, or if wing it if you're assertive. If she flirts, flirt back. If she's teasing you, tease back. Let the romantic parts fall if/where they may. Just don't make winning her over the main objective of your trip.

If she experiences you in a fun and confident role in a foreign country, you'll definitely stand out come next semester.

~Sphinx

[vashti]

I suggest she buys a hijab and never forgets to wear it when she goes out.

[KillaJakez]

You are going on vacation. Have fun! remember that. don't get a headache over her.

[misombra]

i am so ****ing jealous right now.

northern africa (minus algeria *scary*), is my number one place i want to go.

::so jealous::

[BFTrick]

Im wondering if there is a point which is too far though. If i want a romance sometime down the road should i prevent us from doing stuff? For example, will sex or a kiss ruin what we could have later on?

i am so ****ing jealous right now.

northern africa (minus algeria *scary*), is my number one place i want to go.

::so jealous::

Ill buy you some henna, how does that sound? (vashti gets a head scarf )

Or if you wanted to live vicariously I could upload some photos whem Im back.

[vashti]

Yes! Download pictures!

I think if you travel with her for 5 days, you are going to either hate each other or really like each other by the end, and you won't need to worry about the future. I have always come back liking people a little bit less after traveling with them; you get to see how high maintenance they really are, or how they never stop talking, or how they are actually kind of boring...

Seriously, this girl can be harassed a lot. I hope you are prepared. I had a friend who was stoned for being out without a male escort. She also may get a lot of sexually agressive comments which should be ignored.

Be careful where you carry your wallet, too. Her boyfriend had the back pocket cut right off the jeans he was wearing so they could take his wallet.

[BFTrick]

Seriously, this girl can be harassed a lot. I hope you are prepared. I had a friend who was stoned for being out without a male escort. She also may get a lot of sexually agressive comments which should be ignored.

Wow...i didnt reply to this earlier because when you said stoned i thought you meant got high or was excited, and i couldnt understand why you would construct such a poor sentence.

Now after going out, coming back and rereading it, i realize you meant stoned as - thrown rocks at the face. Isnt that usually too the death? eek! am i understanding you correctly?

Yes! Download pictures!

I took a gander at the gallery today, and I didnt see any of yours. why is that? And actually i had difficultly clicking on the pictures.

Be careful where you carry your wallet, too. Her boyfriend had the back pocket cut right off the jeans he was wearing so they could take his wallet.

Thanks for the advice, i have seen it first hand. There are so many cons/tricks out there it isnt funny. Im a little paranoid about all that stuff so all im bringing are clothes and toiletries, and a money belt (yea thats right, its fugly but effective).

[discombobulated]

I think you should just see how things go when you meet up. If they go well, then take the plunge. Tell her how you feel. The worst that can happen is that she doesn't feel the same way. You have to be honest about your feelings.

[vashti]

Now after going out, coming back and rereading it, i realize you meant stoned as - thrown rocks at the face. Isnt that usually too the death? eek! am i understanding you correctly?

Yes! Only they don't always do it to the death, obviously, and I'm not sure they were aiming for her head. Just enough to scare and humiliate her into behaving appropriately for their culture.

Be sure not to leave your passport laying around, either.

[Off2College]

I think you should be a badass by enjoying the vacation to its fullest while hitting on the girl.

[CAM]

Continue having interesting experiences (like the Morocco trip) with her. Both of you come from interesting backgrounds...world traveling families. I'm sure that she has interested stories about her travels for you to hear and vice versa. But, think about what kind of woman she is...outdoorsy/hiking...more a cosmopolitan city-girl...the cutsy-cosy New England bed & breakfast type. And, then suggest a trip together. Make it interesting...like she flies there East to West and you fly the other way around the planet...then, you both go to a location together via a boat. Then, you leave together and return to another location via train. Something totally exotic and different.

She's seen the world and the ordinary does not thrill her. The extra -ordinary will thrill her. Marry a woman like that and the two of you will have a wonderfully exciting life.

[GrkScorp]

If i do want to romance her then how should i go about it? after checking out her facebook page it is obvious she attracts a lot of males attention. From the little i have read between the lines I think and hope she likes me back.

Ugh..

First of all, realize this.. (she gets plenty of male attention, all the time, but she's still single).. think about this for a second.. ask yourself why..

I'll tell you why.. Because she's not attracted to men who will try to "romance her".. She hears guys tell her "hey sexy, hey beautiful, I love you" all the time.. So, she's on this ego-trip high-horse right now.. and she's setting up a "hoop" for you to jump over.. which you're about to! Don't!

What to do?

1. Knock her off of her high-horse ego-trip.. Send out subtle negative comments to make her self-concious about herself.. (Examples: Is there something in your teeth? Never mind, it's gone I think.. Eww, your hands are sweaty, gross!).. while displaying high value (showing her indirectly that you are a high quality male) "ways to do this are being funny, active, not nervous, in control of the social crowd, commanding attention, showing that you're passionate, driven, ambitious, and have respectable and attainable goals for the future"

2. Now that she's off her high-horse and feels like she's "less than beautiful".. her female psyche' is going to want to regain that female sexual control over you.. don't let her ego recover! She's going to be throwing "hoops" at you.. I want you to dodge them (Example: I got these new shoes, so you didn't tell me if you like my dress, I did my hair yesterday, I spent an hour getting ready with make-up and all, etc).. notice how she's trying to boost her ego.. don't give in.. brush it off, switch the subject, or simply respond (yeah.. it looks "fine" I guess)..

3. Now she'll be in shock.. "a guy who's not interested in me? AND he's not falling for my hoops? what? I have no idea what to do now! what's with this guy? does he have a gf? is he gay? or something else?".. you've just made her curious.. and women are like cats.. make a cat curious.. and you can have her doing acrobatics for hours.. curiousity turns into interest, and interest turns into attraction, (but before there is attraction.. it's pointless and a MISTAKE to "romance" her).. you have to continue this game.. and command the attention of other women and people in the group or around you.. make her feel thirsty for your attention and validation.. but stay firm and ignore.. SLOWLY give her hints of attention and validation.. but nothing that signals interest..

4. Look out for her indicators of interest, (she keeps the conversation going, she finds excuses to be next to you, to touch you, looks at you, when she asks hard questions she looks at you to see how you'll react, etc).. DON'T RESPOND TO THESE! or else she will think, "aha! I knew i'd win him over, he was too easy.. yet an other dumb guy under my belt just like all the rest"..

5. If you're here, it's time! You're in good shape, you're ready to move past the attraction you've built up, and show her legitimate reasons why you're attracted to her.. Start by provoking HER to strike up aspects of her personality.. it helps to talk about vague topics like horoscopes, her plans for the future, values, etc.. She's going to reveal some aspect of her personality.. and then you can take the time to say how much you like that about her, or how rare it is to find that in someone, and how it's so important to you, that's what you look for in people.. the point is (make her feel that you have some legitimate reason to be interested in her; or else, she may feel that you've been manipulating her in order to get sex)..

6. Good News! At this point in the game.. Attraction is built, you've expressed your legitimate reason for being attracted to her.. now it's time to move onto building "comfort".. the best way to do this is through more conversation.. but the conversation will now obviously have the cross through her boundries, knocking over all of them.. this is where mutual flirting takes place.. the rest is all up to you.. i've taken you this far, but i'm not about to write your life-story for you..

[vashti]

BFTrick, if you follow the above advice, you deserve to be slapped silly.