what game is this guy playing?

[alidile]

hi hi. i'm new around these parts and in a bit of a tizzy and that's why i've suddenly decided to find some sort of forum.
i have a story i'll try to keep as brief as possible and i have to figure out how to respond to the situation for i've never been stuck in one like this before... confused:
so i was at university away from my hometown and met this guy. we hung out a few times but then he kept calling me to hang out and i blew off on calling him back for a while cos i didn't really have an interest in forming any kind of relationship with anyone. then we finally did begin actually hanging out and i guess were seeing each other but without any official title and i'm sure that hey may have been dating other people which is honestly fine w/ me. he eventually took me to meet his parents and would take me for dinner at their place and would have me hang out w/ him and his syblings. would call to me in the morning and read to me pay to take me to movies make environmental calls for me about products (long story) but anyways. then all of a sudden he said he wanted to hang out one day and then never called to meet up and then when i called him couldn't reach him and htis happened again so i just tried to forget about talking to him. about a week before i left to go home maybe a 3 weeks to a month later my friend told him i was going home and all of a sudden he was gung-ho for hanging out and even complained that meeting him at 9 pm to go to a bar was too late. he later told a guy friend of mine and another friend that he liked me too much to try anything and respected me and it was too bad i was leaving so they immediately told me this. A bit later he told me the same things plus a bit more how what we had could have gone a lot deeper and i knew that. We never had sex just fooled around and la-di-da though we knew that other had sexual partners in the past. He slept over at a friends place w/ me and when i woke he was gone but that night he said he wished i was staying and that he knew i wasn't going to have sex with him and that he wanted to see me again before i went home. i called him again before i left and he told me he had to be up for work by 6 am the next day and it was 6 pm at the time so he couldn't hang out even for an hour though his house was walking distance which got me confused but told me for the 3rd time or so he wanted to keep in touch. so when i got home as to not sound too formal i sent him a facebook msg (lame) asking if he was serious about keeping in touch and he replied yes why not. and then all of a sudden deleted his account and never replied and he did and does have my email address. and so i kinda got freaked out and about 3 weeks ago to a month sent him an email saying this " i've never wondered about anyone before and yet i find myself wondering. silly. i guess it didn't tickle your fancy too much to keep in touch, it's not as if you wouldn't know how to contact me" to which he replied out of the blue 3 nights ago "i don't understand what you mean. could you please rephrase that". that email may seem cryptic to some but that's how we talked and i thought it was pretty obvious. and now i am stumped for the words to say. i have a letter written up but i don't know if it's wise to send. i am usually in control of all my relationship and actually have a problem of men not leaving me alone but this guy was different. any ideas what the game is for starters? sorry i know this is long.

[zro]

please for the love of god, use ****ing paragraphs and proper sentences, it took me like 15 minutes to decipher that shit

anyway, from what i could understand - maybe the guy doesnt want to get attatched as he probably thinks its going no where (especially since you moved away or something), depending on his personality (which i know nothing about) he might have ****ing thought "whats the point of getting involved, if she is going to move and probably forget all about me"

probably the best way of figuring this shit out, is to call him and have an honest conversation

[vashti]

If he thinks your last message was too cryptic, then you need to be very short and and direct. Try something like this:

"I thought we were (sort of) dating, and now you aren't keeping in contact with me. Have I done something that offended you?"

It would probably be a good idea to discuss the nature of your relationship. Keep your questions/statements short and to-the-point. So many females have trouble with this, and that is when males start hearing "blah, blah, blah".

[alidile]

sorry for such a condensed post, i will make sure to use paragraphs next time.

[Gigabitch]

It could be one of two things:

A) He's an emotionally irresponsible flake with no regard for the feelings of others or

B) You're his Plan B girl

[meh]

Sounds like Plan B girl to me.

[alidile]

plan b girl! oh my. that's such a foreign thing for me. that is if it's like the person that someone is settling for. i've never had this problem before actually quite the opposite.
oh well if i'm wrong about what a plan b girl is please explain.
and thanks for the replies so far!

[meh]

Plan B girl is actually more like a backup girl than a girl someone settles for.

Meaning that he's probably pursuing other women/girls, but keeping contact with you just enough so that he can turn to you if and when the other relationships fail.

You should kick him in the nuts.

[zro]

she blew him off first, remember that, maybe he thought he was plan B, and thought "**** it, i am not going to settle for second best", as i said before ****ing call him

[alidile]

so i sent him this email explaining what i meant by the original. it was kinda brief and had things in it like how are you and stuff, but was very direct.
i also said that i guessed my feelings were futile or the entire email was in and of itself.
he replied saying this " wow. ok. well sounds like your doing ok i guess. im not sure how to respond to all that so ill just acknowledge your message and we'll go from there"