exboyfriend moved on too fast

[camomile]

hello

I have a question. I broke up with my exboyfriend we were together for 2 years. I liked him very much and he loved me as well.

But we broke up because we couldnt handle long distance. After about 1 or 2 month later he told me he has a new girlfriend.

I was upset because we had 2 years great relationship and after only 1 or 2 month breakup he already got a new girlfriend. What does that mean?? does that mean he wasnt really in love with me? He also took a holiday with his new girlfriend to london.

We are still friends but it hurts me when i get in toch with him.
But i know that he really cared and loved me. He had done alot of great stuff for me...
what u think guys? is it that easy for u to get over ure ex? He seems also not very hurt when i told him that it was over...and he is not a chasing kind of person.

best wishes

[Gigabitch]

Just because he's with someone else, you think he's completely over everything? I seriously doubt that. He's just moving on- it doesn't mean he didn't care.

[Mish]

I was upset because we had 2 years great relationship and after only 1 or 2 month breakup he already got a new girlfriend. What does that mean?? does that mean he wasnt really in love with me?

It means that you shouldn't have broken up with him if you still have feelings for him. You only break up when the feelings are gone. It doesn't matter what happens after a break up, he has no more commitment or responsibility to you. He's moving on, it sounds like you need to start moving on too.

[IndiReloaded]

It means that you shouldn't have broken up with him if you still have feelings for him. You only break up when the feelings are gone.

Mish, I'm sure you don't mean this generally, but want to clarify.

Ppl break up lots of times before 'feelings gone'. Abusive relationships, for example. Often the partner still cares but knows, intellectually, the relationship isn't a healthy one.

Its actually those *feelings* that keep ppl staying in a relationship longer than they know they should.

Camomile, you had your reasons for breaking up. Those haven't changed. Some ppl can't stand to be alone for long, chances are this current GF of his is just a rebound for him so he doesn't have to process what went wrong in your relationship.

But as has been said, its no longer your concern. He's moving on, you should too. Good luck.

[Lite]

Whaaaaa! He obviously didn't love me enough because he's off banging someone else to cope with the breakup! Whaaaaa!

Sorry, had to be said.

[Mish]

Ppl break up lots of times before 'feelings gone'. Abusive relationships, for example. Often the partner still cares but knows, intellectually, the relationship isn't a healthy one.

That's fair enough. But this wasn't an abusive relationship. She hasn't given a very good reason why she broke up. It sounds like she made her choice because relationship wasn't convenient any more (due to long distance). The way I see it feelings are more important than convenience. I'm just pointing out to her that her choice meant sacrificing her feelings and she should find a way to come to terms with it.

[IndiReloaded]

Long distance is a deal-breaker for a lot of ppl, Mish. Esp if the endpoint is undefined and/or one partner wants to commit and the other isn't ready.

I dunno the specifics of this poster b/c she hasn't said, but I know ppl in LDRs. IMO, their relationship length is actually artificially inflated b/c of the distance. In other words, if they were in a near relationship, they would have broken up quicker as the incompatibility issues are more obvious and sooner.

So, someone in a 2-3 year LDR would breakup in 6 - 12 months if they were to have that together time. If their breakup is due to incompatibility reasons, of course. There are other reasons LDRs fail.

[Lipp]

hello

I have a question. I broke up with my exboyfriend we were together for 2 years. I liked him very much and he loved me as well.

But we broke up because we couldnt handle long distance. After about 1 or 2 month later he told me he has a new girlfriend.

I was upset because we had 2 years great relationship and after only 1 or 2 month breakup he already got a new girlfriend. What does that mean?? does that mean he wasnt really in love with me? He also took a holiday with his new girlfriend to london.

While it sure sounds sincere I have to call this one out.

Other Thread - [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html[/URL]

I recently have a new boyfriend we have been together for 3 months. I broke up with my exboyfriend 4 months ago because i couldnt do long distance.

So you've "moved on" a month later, and he did exactly the same. You should already know the answer then, since you're in his seat.

[Pink68]

Wow...why is it so hard to grasp when you have moved on as well......?????

Sounds like you need to be on your own for a while and not be so wrapped up in yourrelationships..IMHO

[Mish]

Long distance is a deal-breaker for a lot of ppl, Mish.

Well then, people shouldn't start LDRs if it's a deal breaker for them. It just shows the person as being irresponsible.

So, someone in a 2-3 year LDR would breakup in 6 - 12 months if they were to have that together time. If their breakup is due to incompatibility reasons, of course. There are other reasons LDRs fail.

I understand, but it was her choice to fail it. She looses right to worry about anything that her ex does after that point. She shouldn't have broken up with him if she still had feelings for him, she should've just bitten the bullet and found a way that works. It looks like that was inconvenient for her, so this is the price she pays.

[IndiReloaded]

A lot of ppl start relationships that then become LDR, Mish. Its not always intentional.

I agree she needs to start distancing herself, emotionally.

[Mish]

A lot of ppl start relationships that then become LDR, Mish. Its not always intentional.

It's a cut off period then. The person should know if this is something they can handle before it becomes an LDR. The reason for my response was, basically I find it hard to feel sorry for someone who broke off a relationship for vague reasons and then suddenly realized they still have feelings for the person when it's too late. I think it's irresponsible. I don't lose any sleep over people like that

[carl1222]

While it sure sounds sincere I have to call this one out.

Other Thread - [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html[/URL]



So you've "moved on" a month later, and he did exactly the same. You should already know the answer then, since you're in his seat.

Good catch, Lipp ... she sounds like a dog in the manger if I ever heard one.

Carl.

[Mish]

While it sure sounds sincere I have to call this one out.

Other Thread - [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/27245-my-new-boyfriend-doesnt-want-kiss-me-often-i-want.html[/URL]



So you've "moved on" a month later, and he did exactly the same. You should already know the answer then, since you're in his seat.

I agree, rather hypocritical.

[camomile]

hi people

thanks alot for responding my posting i was happy to receive so many answers.

U were right i think i dont have love feelings for him but i still cares alot about him. The reason why i moved on so fast is because he told me that he has a girlfriend and thats why i decided to be serious with my current boyfriend. Afterall we were together for 2 years and i still like the happyu moments we share and miss him. I dont know if i have love feelings for him i think i dont because i didnt feel sexually attracted to him plus we couldnt really talk. Additionally he is now living in another continent which is a big thing for me to break up with him.

I think my current boyfriend is just a rebounce guy. I feel like breaking up with him as well since he doesnt make me happy as much as he did.

do u sort of understand? i dont love my ex but i still sort of am attached to him thats why i found it hard to believe that he moved on so quickly....

thanks anyways