So my mum is pissed at my hubby

[MaidenMinx]

Today mum and I went out to the movies and we had a lovely time.

When we arrived home, hubby was trying to watch a movie. Mum and I walked in chatting loudly. After greeting hubby and my son mum and I continued to chat, not noticing that hubby was actually interested in what he was watching. He grumbles "Well so much for watching that" and stops his movie. I apologise and he stormed off to have a shower.

Mum then decided to leave. When hubby got out of the shower I apologised again and by this time he was cool. By the time he had to leave for work an hour and a half later it was as if neither of us had our moods tweaked. I pretty much forgot about the tense moment.

Then a little while ago mum called. She is all stressed and feels disrespected by hubby and like she can't have a nice experience without something ruining it. I told her that hubby chose to react how he did and could have asked us to be quiet or go into another room to chat. She agreed and was about to say more until I told her that she has chosen to react the way she has. She got snotty and said "I'll let you get back to your evening" and hung up on me.

I don't know what she wanted from me and I hate the way she seems to expect me to slam my husband and take her side (not that I really understand what her side is. Can anyone clarify that for me?).

*sigh*... I think I just needed a vent. I feel better for typing this now.

[Lipp]

I have a lovely 50" plasma screen and a blu ray player for a reason. Not to mention the fantastic sounding amp and speakers...

Just crank that shit up the next time.

[MaidenMinx]

Good point. I might mention that next time my man gets irritated by me having a convo with someone.

I'd love to crank the shit out of some good music now, but my son has not long gone to sleep. Advantage there is I can finally go to sleep.. (she says at 20 to 10 on a Saturday night.)

And dude, awesome memory.

[rafterman]

(not that I really understand what her side is. Can anyone clarify that for me?).

Because blood is thicker than water. Get what I'm saying?

[MaidenMinx]

Because blood is thicker than water. Get what I'm saying?

When mum has been in the right, I side with her. Just because she is my mum should I always side with her?

If that is what you are saying, I completely disagree.

And does it really look like I took his side? I told her he chose how to react before telling her that she too chose how to react.

Not that these issues come up often, but when they do I feel completely torn.

[rafterman]

When mum has been in the right, I side with her. Just because she is my mum should I always side with her?If that is what you are saying, I completely disagree.

1)Thats the loyalty thing (Blood) She wants it regardless (old school)
2) No I dont agree with it either. Your loyalties are divided now, she needs to understand. Thats the hard bit.

[MaidenMinx]

[/B]
1)Thats the loyalty thing (Blood) She wants it regardless (old school)
2) No I dont agree with it either

*sigh* So if you were in my shoes (you'd probably have sore feet :p ) what would you do?

[vashti]

I wouldn't EVER behave the way your husband did towards my in-laws (or any other visitor in my home). Frankly, I would have been more annoyed with HIM. She was an invited guest in your home - his display was boorish, IMO. He should apologize. People are more important than movies.

BTW - What reaction of HERS did you consider inappropriate enough that you would respond to her this way? Because based on your post, I'm seeing nothing.

[MaidenMinx]

I wouldn't EVER behave the way your husband did towards my in-laws (or any other visitor in my home). Frankly, I would have been more annoyed with HIM. She was an invited guest in your home - his display was boorish, IMO. He should apologize. People are more important than movies.

I would completely agree with you if my mum wasn't like Marie off everyone loves Raymond. My mum is here nearly every day.

I'm not saying he handled the situation well, he didn't. He is a poor communicator and has a very strong childish streak.

Another point that might be relevant is a few years ago we had my mum and my brothers live with us for nearly 4 months. Intimacy breeds contempt and unfortunately my mum and my hubby learnt more about each other than they ever should have.

Don't get me wrong. They can get along really well at times, when they are both choosing to be considerate of each other. Sometimes I feel like we should all be in family counselling.

[rafterman]

Is this a common occurrence? If yes warn him out so he can prepare to greet or retreat (to shed).But his comment was maybe a bit unnessessary.
See you are the "U.N" in this. Do you ALWAYS get along with your Mum?

[MaidenMinx]

Is this a common occurrence? If yes warn him out so he can prepare to greet or retreat (to shed).But his comment was maybe a bit unnessessary.
See you are the "U.N" in this. Do you ALWAYS get along with your Mum?

Oh god no. She frequently drives me up the wall.

This will happen a few times a year.

He doesn't have a functional shed as yet. It's currently full of crap that needs to be thrown out. Though you have made me realise that getting that set up for him needs to be moved up my priority list.

[vashti]

I don't think you should defend your husband's bad behavior. It would have been better had you said to your mother - "yes, that was rude. You know he can be very childish. I apologize on his behalf." And then discussed with him proper behavior towards guests separately.

What you did makes it look as though your mother had some responsibility in the matter, and she didn't.

[rafterman]

I don't think you should defend your husband's bad behavior. It would have been better had you said to your mother - "yes, that was rude. You know he can be very childish. I apologize on his behalf." And then discussed with him proper behavior towards guests separately.

What you did makes it look as though your mother had some responsibility in the matter, and she didn't.

Disagree this how WWIII would start

[vashti]

Disagree this how WWIII would start

Between who?

[MaidenMinx]

I don't think you should defend your husband's bad behavior. It would have been better had you said to your mother - "yes, that was rude. You know he can be very childish. I apologize on his behalf." And then discussed with him proper behavior towards guests separately.

What you did makes it look as though your mother had some responsibility in the matter, and she didn't.

I can't apologise for him, mum doesn't accept it when I try. Before she left this afternoon I had said "Geez. Dunno where that came from. He really could have handled that better" When he got out of the shower I told him that too as well as apologising for interrupting his movie. He said that that was cool and he should have realised he didn't have time to watch the movie before we got home.

The bit my mum needs to take responsibility for is how she chose to react. She raised me to believe that home is your soft place to fall, yet every time hubby has a mood that isn't sunshine and lollipops she takes it personally. If she is here when he comes home from work in a bad mood she will instantly assume he is pissed at her, regardless of what is said.

Oh and hubbys bad moods are rare and don't last long. I'm quite frankly tired of her taking them as a personal insult.