how to attract an ex boyfriend back when he's with someone else

[leafy]

Want to know how can i attract/win back my ex boyfriend when he's already has a girlfriend. They were together for 3 months (up till now) after one week of broke up with me. he was the one who initiated the break up.

The girl seems to be smart in handling the relationship, whereas i used to be a bit sensitive. Can i still attract him back? We were together for 6 months before we broke up and i'm afraid i'm just a fling to him.

Can anyone teach me how to attract back an ex boyfriend when he's not in contact with me. He seems like avoiding me, didn't want to keep in contact with me, reply my message, etc. i have tried the no contact rule. I tried to reconnect with him, but he still ignored me.

I have no ideas is he in a rebound relationship? how long will a rebound relationship normally lasts? and in what situation is it called a rebound relationship.

We broke up because of some trust issues which happened because i was studying overseas and we were on a long distance relationship. I know it's a honeymoon period for him and his current gf now, which is rather hard to get him back. I'm not going to beg him to come back, i tried that and it failed.

[Doc Durian]

Are you more worried that your 6 months together meant nothing to him or that he's happy with another woman who in all probability doesn't have the same relationship problems you two had prior?

Why do you want him back? Do you feel that the relationship breakup was your fault?

Do you still have feelings for someone who doesn't appear to have feelings for you 3 months onwards?

If you care about him still, wouldn't you like him to be happy and if that means with his new gf, why hang around waiting for what probably won't happen..... him getting back with you.

You can't force him to reconsider you, nor second guess why he left, dated someone else.

You're apart.

Best to move on and learn from your experience.

There will be others you're keen on...

[leafy]

No. the relationship breakup was not totally my fault, i would say both of us have faults and both of us have learnt from the mistakes

I really still have feelings for him though i know he has appear to have no feelings towards me anymore. I really want to have him back, to rebuild the trust again. Maybe i would say i'm a bit worried that my 6 months meant nothing to him but im happy that he's happy again. but just that i still want to start afresh with him again.

[vashti]

It doesn't appear that he is interested, and he gets a vote, too.

Best that you should move on and forget about him.

[lahnnabell]

Yes, he's avoiding you. Why? Because he knows that you're incredibly sensitive and that it would only be feeding into the drama that you expel.

Sounds like this new girl he has is a mite more secure in herself than you are, and to be quite honest, guys like that. It's less messy and they're not always cleaning up your emotions for you.

I say learn from this and move on. He's clearly not interested in you anymore and any tactics to try to win him back are most likely only going to frustrate him. Sorry.

[sookie6]

I am afraid there is very little chance of this happening.

You need to understand that on top of whatever past issues your relationship suffered from, the novelty factor weighs strongly when a guy hooks up with a new woman...

Try to focus on who you were before meeting this man...you had a life, you had friends, activities, ambitions....you existed by yourself...you will again
xxx

[Doc Durian]

I am afraid there is very little chance of this happening.

You need to understand that on top of whatever past issues your relationship suffered from, the novelty factor weighs strongly when a guy hooks up with a new woman...

Try to focus on who you were before meeting this man...you had a life, you had friends, activities, ambitions....you existed by yourself...you will again
xxx

That's not true for guys. Are you a guy? I am, and I know it to not be true for myself and some of my friends.

There is no "novelty factor" when you're in love or you're trying to move past that as a guy... there's just wounds, pride, and a sense of a better future.

Guys these days get a bad rap because girls try to paraphrase what they're thinking or feeling.

[lahnnabell]

I would say the novelty factor weighs strongly for anyone, male or female. Once you find someone new it is a reminder of how desirable you are and that relationships can exist without petty drama.

[sookie6]

I am a woman Doc and I always try to not fall into the trap of bitterness about men.

What I am saying here is something that I've genuinely observed around and personally too.

I've seen guys leaving behind long term relationships with their fair share of problems (but again every relationship has its issues) for something new with a woman who often has even worse problems (abusive husbands, children to care for, financial hurdles)...all this because it seems easier sometimes to believe in someone new that in someone you've known for years...

I would agree that this could also be a woman trait... but novelty is a strong factor that lead people to give up on long term relationships...

[Doc Durian]

I would say the novelty factor weighs strongly for anyone, male or female. Once you find someone new it is a reminder of how desirable you are and that relationships can exist without petty drama.

"guys (are) like that" doesn't sound like just anyone...

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

[Doc Durian]

I am a woman Doc and I always try to not fall into the trap of bitterness about men.

What I am saying here is something that I've genuinely observed around and personally too.

I've seen guys leaving behind long term relationships with their fair share of problems (but again every relationship has its issues) for something new with a woman who often has even worse problems (abusive husbands, children to care for, financial hurdles)...all this because it seems easier sometimes to believe in someone new that in someone you've known for years...

I would agree that this could also be a woman trait... but novelty is a strong factor that lead people to give up on long term relationships...

For every instance you can cite, I can cite a male equivalent... and not boasting, merely stating what I know to be true for my mates and I.

[sookie6]

"guys (are) like that" doesn't sound like just anyone...

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Very true Doc,

I hate generalisations so I will take this back and correct with 'some guys...' and add 'and some women'...

wait...I'lle just say 'some people...'

[lahnnabell]

My, my... picky picky We all fall into generalizing now and again, right? My usage of the word "guys" was mostly for the OPs benefit as she is talking about a guy. Being a woman that enjoys confidence in her men and less drama, I attest that my statement applies to men and women.

[Doc Durian]

My, my... picky picky We all fall into generalizing now and again, right? My usage of the word "guys" was mostly for the OPs benefit as she is talking about a guy. Being a woman that enjoys confidence in her men and less drama, I attest that my statement applies to men and women.

Now it does...

[leafy]

So what does it means?

Even if i move on, is there a chance that he will come back to me. I understand there's s saying "if you don't love yourself, no one will love you." and people always say guys love girls who have confidence in themselves, and confidence will attract them. I mean by chance, if i can overcome this, let go of the past relationship, and get back to the one i used to be before he met me, will there stand a chance for him to come back?