I've recently been thrown back into the dating scene. Things with the man I was posting about just did not work out. There are no bad feelings. I recently started chatting with someone new.
I've known this guy for over six years. We've had one of those dynamics where we've always had a thing for one another, but the universe just seems against us - timing never seems to work out and one of us has always been involved with someone else. We recently started chatting again, and the connection felt very strong this time. We are both single and it has been a very exciting week of conversation.
He was spending the week down at his family's beach house, and has asked me earlier in the week if he could see me this weekend. I said I would try to work something out. A few days later, he mentioned his car was in the shop. I assumed this meant he was not coming up this weekend. This is where the miscommunication began.
Last night, he texts me around 8pm saying he is going to be in the area tonight, and he would like to see me after he has dinner and drinks with friends. It was very last minute. I told him it probably wouldn't work out, but I would TRY to work something out. He said it wouldn't be till "later". I had previous made plans and I had no idea what he meant by "later", so I continued with my plans, thinking maybe I would be free when he was ready for me. He texts me around 11pm asking "are you coming over?" I responded that I was with a friend, that tonight wasn't going to work out after all. I apolgized and asked if we could reschedule soon, that I really wanted to see him.
He completely blew up. I had never seen this side of him in all my years of knowing him.
He started saying that I was "playng him", "messing with a man's head", "getting his hopes up for nothing". That "he was more important than some friend", that I was "making excuses" and that all of this was making me look like "all talk and no action." He also started cursing at me and saying "OH WELL I TRIED".
I was very alarmed by this reaction and asked if I could please call him, that this was all a big miscommunication and I wanted him to understand those were not my intentions AT ALL. We ended up on the phone, and it was very obvious he was extremely drunk. He started rambling that "This past week of talking to me had made him so happy and all he wanted to do was spend some time together" that since he's starting a new job soon that he's not going to be free much and "this was all he was looking forward to". I tried explaining to him that if it was so important, we should have made definate plans. He was being very stubborn. I kept very calm.
So, I then said I was sorry and if he wanted to stop communication I understood I had hurt him. He was SHOCKED by this, and it aggitated him more. OF COURSE NOT. PLEASE DON'T PLAY ME OUT. I WANT YOU. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU. YOU'RE AMAZING. ETC.
We ended up on the phone for quite some time, and as he sobered up, he started making more sense....but not much. He started saying "Am I being an asshole? I feel like I'm being an asshole. Am I overreacting?"
I'm clearly very put off by this behavior. I feel like his reaction was TOTALLY flying off the handle. A simple "I'm dissapointed we can't see eachother, I was looking foward to it" would have sufficed. What the heck is going on here?