I am incredibly torn on this subject. I have been thinking about this for a long time.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I have known since before day one of our relationship that he has genital herpes. He was very honest about that once it became evident that we were thinking of getting together. At the time, it rocked my world. I cried that night from being so torn. I really liked him and I wanted to get to know him. Little did I know I would fall in love with him and we would be thinking about marriage.
I want him to propose to me. I want to marry him. Really, I do. It's just that... the thought of marrying someone with herpes really scares me. We have been really careful so far about him always wearing protection whenever we are intimate, but it really sucks thinking that I am going to have to use a condom during sex for the rest of my life... even with my future husband... even after we're married!
The thing is... his herpes is not very serious. He rarely has outbreaks when they are supposedly supposed to happen once a month or so. We're going on 3 years together and he has only had ONE outbreak of herpes since we've gotten together (and that was like 2 years ago).
I have always been a pretty healthy person. There's nothing wrong with me that he would ever need to worry about, but this thing of his just eats away at me...
To kinda set some boundaries from day one I told him that I would not even CONSIDER having sex without a condom unless I was married to him. He understood and was perfectly fine with it. Why risk getting an STD from someone who just might infect you and then leave you?
My mom is putting a lot of pressure on him to propose already, but I'm kinda glad he hasn't yet. I still don't know what I would say. I know that if he didn't have that STD, I would say "Yes/I do" in a heartbeat, but that STD changes things a lot. I'm really scared of it. I don't know what to expect from it. Sure, his herpes barely ever gives him any issues, but what if my body will react differently? What if it's worse for me? Then it would only be my own fault for that suffering... jeez... the thought really scares me to bits.
I don't know what to do... what would you do if you were in my situation?
Maybe you would have just sent him packing the moment he told you he had herpes. I guess I wouldn't be at this crossroads if I had done that. But then again, I have really loved having him in my life these past 3 years...
Please... anybody... I need advice...