I'd like to get some other people's opinions on my situation, and more importantly if there is any hope of a future reconciliation or not.
The story:
We have been happily dating for 3 years. She is a 36 year old single mom who lives at home with her father (her daughter also lives there). I live in my house that I own. About two years ago we decided that I would fix my place up and they could move in, or at least spend a few nights there now and then. But time has been short and money slow to save so the work has gone slowly. So I spent half of my week at her dads house with her and the other half at my place. A year and a half ago she got laid off from her job. She has doing small contract work to make money but it's not much, she lives off of unemployment. She hasn't been able to find a new job, and it's bothered her big time.
We have rarely fought at all in 3 years, other than minor quibbles that were quickly resolved. About 4 months ago she started to feel slightly distant. When I confronted her on this she said she felt like she was being smothered a bit, so I backed off slightly to give her some space. Things seemed to be okay then, until we spent a week vacation together with her daughter and family at the end of June. After we got back from that, she broke up with me in the first week of July.
She told me that her feelings have waned, that she doesn't see us having a future together, and that she just doesn't want to be in a relationship now. She said it's not black and white but shades of gray.
It's important to note that I was planning on proposing at the end of July / beginning of August timeframe. She knew it was coming, her whole family was expecting it.
Since the breakup, over the past two months we have gone out a few times, talked some, been intimate a few times, and now I know more. I now know that she did not want to live in my house at all, she dreaded leaving her dad's home (he owns a lot of land and her family lives there). I was married before and she feels that my house is mine and my ex-wifes, not mine and hers. She also says she feels some resentment for me because she sometimes didn't act like herself in order to spare my feelings. For example, not giving hugs to people for fear that I would get jealous or possessive. She also tells me that lately I have been acting like a wet paper bag, being too accommodating to her and not attentive enough to my own needs. She is also bothered by the fact that we have never had a real good serious fight. She sees this as a problem.
Of course I never knew any of this until weeks after the breakup.
During talks over the past two months post breakup, I told her that I had planned to ask her about selling my house and building a new one together on her dad's land. I was going to ask her this when I proposed. We have also both acknowledged that both of us avoided fights with each other in order to keep each other happy. That was a mistake. I have also told her that she should not be changing behavior for me when I haven't asked her to, and it wasn't fair of her to resent me for something I didn't do. It feels like we have made progress.
However, she is sticking to her guns. She keeps saying she has moved on, that she doesn't feel the same way anymore, and that she doesn't feel like we have made progress. She has also been on three dates with three different guys, but she says that they aren't anything serious. I've tried to keep in touch by both phone and texts, and she responds but does not initiate any contact anymore. This past weekend she really got me mad, so I sent her an angry email where I basically told her that she isn't trying to fix us and she has just given up, she isn't the woman I thought she was, and that I deserve to be treated better. I pretty much told her that if she isn't willing to work with me then to hell with her.
And she responded with that I need to move on, and yes I do deserve better, but that she doesn't want to be that for me anymore.
So now I'm resigned to giving up, forgetting about her, and moving on with my life. But I've got this nagging feeling that she will come back, that maybe the space and time apart will make her realize what she is losing. I know I can't think like that, but I can't seem to shake the hope or gut feeling that it will happen. I love her so much, but I don't know what else I can do at this point except walk away. It just feels like I don't have a good reason for this breakup, like I will never understand why she did this.
Maybe I just need an outside opinion and perspective. How does this situation sound to all of you? Does it sound like she might come back? Or does it sound lost and truly over?