Hey, we're Hayden and Claire, 20 years old from the Midlands, UK.
We have been together since December 9th, '08, and have relationship troubles.
We've each been in relationships before and we both feel a lot differently about this one and are adamant it will work. We're not willing to let the standard troubles every relationship has make us give up.
Firstly we'll talk about Claire, she has had a very troubled past, having a lot of anxiety and relationship issues. She has been in a lot of relationships with unfaithful people and her last serious one was filled with emotional abuse and was ended (by him) a couple of months after she found out (around the same time as her abortion) that he had cheated on her with his ex. Obviously, because of this, she has a lot of insecurity issues, etc.
And now Hayden, he has had (relative to Claire) an easy past, with only a few relationships, and having no unfaithfulness in any. He did however have an ex start a relationship with one of his best friends after they broke up, which added to the anxiety, depression, psychosis and other pshychological problems he already had from the doubts he was having while in the relationship.
Neither of us have been unfaithful in past relationships, and we both have rationality when it comes to "if you want to cheat on someone, you're not happy, so why be in the relationship?"
Also, Claire is using the contraceptive injection, Depo Provera, which has an unusual amount of side effects that mirror pregnancy, so pregnancy scares are on a monthly basis, which, with the effects of the abortion still affecting her, does not help things.
The troubles that have surfaced have the consequence of constant fighting, depression, insecurities, and a general feeling of helplessness.
We recently went to a councelor and discussed some problems. The list of Claire's symptoms are:
- Separation anxiety
- Relationship insecurities
- Paranoia (about people laughing at her in the street etc)
- Mood swings
- Inability to trust
- Inability to accept compliments
- Low self esteem
- Sinking anxiety feeling
- Making mountains out of molehills
- Inappropriate fear of loss or separation
- Inability to rationalise
- Inability to move on from past
The troubles are affecting both our daily lives, as we spend almost 100% of the time together.
We feel like we're missing some things, so if we think of more to add, we'll add with a reply.
Any help, suggestions, comments or anything is greatly appreciated.
Thanks
x