Hello. I tried to find a good place to ask this question. If this isn't one, I'm awfully sorry. I'm aware that it's probably an utterly silly question compared to everything else on here, and I'm horrifed about asking it, but it's a very big deal to me so please try to be nice. Okay, I'll get to the point.
I have this friend (online friendship) whom I've become very close with in a short amout of time, and this friendship means a lot to the both of us, especially as we're both struggling a lot with life and take comfort in eachother. I happen to dream a lot at nights, and wake up a lot too. The other night I had a bad dream where I had to fight a wolf, and... you know those first few seconds after waking up, when you're all confused? I woke up, and while still in the confused state, a thought popped into my head. The thought was that I love this girl, the friend I mentioned. A second later I came back to my senses, and I was shocked and confused about that entirely involuntary thought I had just had. As far as I know, I have never loved anyone in my life, and I definitely haven't told anyone or even allowed myself to think the word. It's actually hard for me to even type it out. Moreover, this girl has a lot of sides I don't like (and struggle to accept) and -as far as I know - I have no romantic feelings towards her at all, and just fight my inner turmoil to allow myself to have this friend.
So, basically, what I want to ask is; Why would I get a thought like that? Nothing similar has ever happened to me before, and it scared the hell out of me. Could it be that I subconsciously like her more than I will admit to myself? Should I try to write it off as nothing? I don't know what else to say. We're both in our 20's, if that is relevant in any way. We also live on different continents.
I don't know, perhaps I should find a psychology forum to ask this in instead?
Thanks a lot if you take the time to read this and try to offer some insight, it's greatly appreciated.