New Girlfriend was SOOO in love with me. Then overnight... Uhmmm???

[Dolmetscher]

Been dating this girl for 3 months. It's a long distance thing because she lives 4 hours away, but we are from the same very small hometown. I've actually known her mother for over 15 years. I'm 32, and the girl is 29. I am divorced 2 years now, and she has been separated from her husband for 10 months now (she lives in a state the requires a 12 month legal separation before you can be granted a divorce... Great.)

Okay... now that all the facts and housekeeping is out of the way, here's the deal.

When we met/reconnected, everything was great. We really "clicked" like I never have with anyone. And she always said the same. In fact, she has lead the charge with all the verbal cues for things. She started calling me her boyfriend. Then she told me that the loved me... She tells me that I make her happier than anyone she has ever known or been with. She literally just bathes me in compliments about how much or a real man I am, and how attractive I am, about about how awesome I am in bed, and how amazing my "you-know-what" is...and how lucky she is to have me. And believe me, I feel the same way for her. And I tell her. We tell each other nice things all the time.

We finish each others' sentences. Laugh all day until our stomach's hurt. Have the best sex ever. She knows and LOVES my whole family. I mean... it's only been 3 month together, most of which has been over the phone. But coming out of the gate... things have just been great. But then... things just kinda changed. Or maybe they didn't. I honestly have OVER-thought it to the point where I just can't tell.

She has started pulling crap like:
1. She went out with a girlfriend and got drunk, called me all drunk, DROVE home all drunk, and passed out with me on the phone.
2. Went out a week later with a group of friends. Drank too much. Said she'd let me know when she got back to her friends house. Never called me to let me know she was okay. I worried all damn night.
3. We were at my parents' house. She accidentally spilled an entire drink on me and her, and as I'm sitting there stunned, trying to figure out what just happened.... she BARKS at me, "Well get me a napkin!"
4. While sitting around the table, instead of asking me, "Baby, could you get me another glass of wine." she literally would just set her empty glass in front of me without even looking at me. I was just supposed to go fetch it for her.
5. Over the last couple of weeks, she has taken to telling me that she is just so used to being fallen over. And how her ex husband told her everyday how beautiful she was, and how this and that she is.

I don't know. This is really starting to break my heart. Because we were so perfect for each other on almost every level. We look good together. We have SUCH similar stories/backgrounds, (hometowns/marriage etc.) We really do get along like two really old souls. We spent the entire weekend together in total bliss. But then the minute she isn't right beside me anymore, i.e. she's back home and we are on the phone... things start to feel so distant and crappy.

She used to text me 30 times a day. We had the best text'versations ever. And now, she'll text me, and I'll answer her and ask a question, and she takes hours to get back to me.

I really don't know when it is right to make a "big deal" out of something. I mean... the texting thing... Okay. Whatever. I'm a big boy, and I can handle a slow down in texts. It's only normal... and she IS a busy woman. I get it. I like it. I love it. Moving on. And about the making me worry about her all night. She did that ONE time. It was a mistake. One that I'VE made a million times in my life. She had never done it before. And promises to never do it again. Again... no biggie. Moving on.

Basically, the only thing(s) that I can't seem to shake are her comparing me (unfavorably) to her f'ing husband, her acting like a princess and just expecting me to fetch her wine. And then barking at me to get her a napkin when SHE spills a drink all over ME. And that last one, I can just set aside as her being nervous and embarrassed that she spilled the drink in public. If she had pulled that at home w/ just me around, I would have been like, "You get ME a napkin Ms. Priss."

I don't know... I don't really have a solid question here. I am just wondering if anyone of you are sharp enough to see into what all I am saying and tell me what you think. Am I just starting to panic/self-sabotage? Or do you think there is genuine cause for me to worry?

[MerryH]

Well, it sounds to me like you're actually starting to get to know the not-so-flattering aspects of her personality. It was all greatgreatgreat! at the beginning when you two were on your best behavior with each other, now some other things are coming out. I think it's pretty normal for that to happen, no? I mean, she's not perfect - I'm sure you never assumed she was. Now you're seeing it. Are these things that you're willing to put up with/work out with her? Up to you.

At least try bringing this stuff up with her. Ask her not to compare you to her ex-husband and let her know that you have a problem with her princess-type behavior.

But this:

she literally would just set her empty glass in front of me without even looking at me. I was just supposed to go fetch it for her.

Made me fk'n lol. Man. She sure is something.

[Dolmetscher]

Made me fk'n lol. Man. She sure is something.

Yeah... me too to be honest. She was already tipsy bv the time the princess behavior started. I totally busted her on it the next day, and she just covered her face with a pillow and said... "Oh Noooooo!" She said she has no idea why, but when she gets drunk she turns into a total princess.

I guess luckily for me, she rarely ever drinks. I've been with her for over 3 months now, and I've seen her drink 3 times. Unfortunately all three times have turned out to kinda suck. Ha ha ha.

Oh well. I still love her, and I'm gonna stick by her. But I ain't gonna be her punk. I'm sure thing's will be fine.

Thanks for listening.