Hi all, I'm in a difficult situation and I'm looking for advice. My partner and I live together and have a 12 month old daughter. We'd only been seeing each other for a short while when I found out I was pregnant. Termination was never on the cards for me, and my partner fully supported my decision to keep the baby. Our relationship was a casual one when we first got together, but throughout the pregnancy he supported me, and I started to think we could have a real future together. Soon after the birth, my partner proposed. I was really happy as now I felt we could become a real family. But since then, I don't know why, but I've become more and more aware that we have nothing in common. I'm supposed to be planning our wedding, but I just can't muster any enthusiasm. I feel awful and wish I could get excited about it, but the truth is I don't think he's the one for me. We love each other, but we're not at all in love. We have very little in common and don't enjoy the same passtimes.
To make things worse, an old flame recently got back in contact. A few years ago I was in love with this man, but he wasn't in a situation where he could commit himself to me. He's since said letting me go was the biggest mistake he's ever made. Now we've discovered we live very close to each other and have been meeting up as friends. The last time we met up (yesterday), we acknowledged that there are very strong feelings between us. He knows my situation, even that I'm having serious doubts about the wedding (in fact, he's the only one I've told). He has told me he's in love with me and believes we belong together. My feelings for him are unlike anything I've felt for anyone, including my fiance. I'm so drawn to this man that all I want to do is be with him all the time. I think about him constantly. As I mentioned before, he's aware of my situation and said if I decide to leave my fiance he'll be there to support me and my daughter. He's very sincere and I believe he'd look after us.
I'm not looking for permission to have an affair, and I wouldn't want to start anything with this man while I was still with my fiance. But I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. As a stay at home mum I'm dependent on benefits, so I have no savings I could use to move out of our home. It's not only the financial aspect I'm worrying about. More importantly, we have a daughter together. She's only a baby, but how do I do right by her? Am I being selfish breaking up our family? Or am I stupid to marry someone I'm not in love with, just because we have a child together? I want to do the right thing but I don't know what that is. I really need help and advice. Thanks for reading this.