My boyfriend couldn't choose between me and his ex.?

[shane.im]

Well is a long story here.. Thanks in advance for your patient to take a look at my problems.

My Boyfriend, and her ex was once my colleagues. I had been together with him after few months of their break off.

They had been together for 2 years more. A lot of good and bad memories happens between them where The boyfriend are quite poor at that time, with low income salary, does not own a car and stuff. The Ex went through a lot hard time with him and treated The Boyfriend very good enough that The Boyfriend once promised to himself that he will marry her.

But after first year of their happiness, The Boyfriend's mum came over to their place and stayed with them, where the disaster started to happen. The Boyfriend seems to cared about his mum and lack of care for The Ex. All the argues, misunderstanding, hates, cry happens afterward till their break off.


Me and The boyfriend were together for 2 years now. We were so happy in this meanwhile where we didn't really argue about much thing. I guess is because we really tolerate with each other about everything. Although sometimes I'll be so suspicious and worried that they could get back together ( since they are working together in the same company, where I have left 1 years ago ), but i choose to believe him and throw all the "suspicious things" away from my mind. He is so honest to me that he would tell me everything.

But, ever since last month, The Boyfriend meet with his ex, and had a dinner together. They talked about everything, the past , some misunderstanding they both didn't know. The Boyfriend is so hurt after realizing that he has hurts the ex so deep. The ex still couldn't forget about him, and couldn't let go.

The Boyfriend currently are so struggling not knowing whether he is still in love with the girl, but in the meanwhile, he is also afraid he will did a same mistake by hurting me.

Just simplify the word, he is currently in love with me, but he can't forget his ex and so hurt that he once misunderstood the girl. My point is, what should I do ?

1- Should I let go this relationship even though it is hurt to do so, but is even hurt when you know the guy sleeping beside you is hurting for another women.

2- Should I hold on tight this relationship while waiting him to endure from this pain? Wait him to understand the point that " A past is a past " ?

What should I do ?

[mithiz]

Dear Shane.im,
I am new to this forum so i request u to ignore if there are any mistakes.
I totally understand your situation cause i have been through the same.. I would highly suggest you let your boyfriend make the decision.. Let him decide who he wants to spend the rest of the life with! And if you really love him, you will agree with his decision.. This is my opinion!

[Boisdevie]

Leave him.

[shane.im]

Thanks for the advice. I m currently moved to my friend house, just to let him alone to think of it. Just that, Im so confused whether can this relationship still work on ?

[hello1]

Why would you want stay with a man who still has feelings for his ex? if that was me I be so heartbroken I wouldn't want to be with him anymore anyway, you should not have to compete with an EX. They are an ex for a reason, it didn't work and they are in the past and should stay there.

[abrk]

Hi. I have to say I was kind of in position of Your boyfriend. I had huge doubts whether or not I can hurt my woman (even though I hadn't had any that bad experiences or hurt anyone so badly). I've heard once very wise thing which in my opinion is very true: 'Love disappears when one doubts in love'. I deem what he does as doubts because we all are just human. We are one hundred capable of making mistake and even though he made really big one, why does it have to happen again? Mathematically, probability would be very, very low.

If I were you, I'd leave him. Yes, it will hurt like shit, but he will think over every his action whether he is taking out the garbage or asking You to marry him. This one day will become a torture and splitting up will hurt even more, especially if you are married.

All I can add is good luck. We're with You and wish you the best.

[shane.im]

Thanks for all advices.

I wish I could just leave him .. but the heart just couldn't let go.
We are actually quite honest to each other where we shared almost anything. He would even tell me how is he feeling currently where he is so messed not knowing what to do next.
He keeps asking advice from me whether to forget the girl, or dump me. It's hurt. But I would rather he is telling me for break off instead of asking advice from me.

I understand why he is being so confused as our relationship within this 2 years are so happy. We even meet with each other parents and more likely into engagement stage within this or next year. He told me, he has forgotten the girl in this 2 years, until 2 weeks before this where they meet with each other. Perhaps, the feeling is just kept aside, and now it came back.

For almost 2 years of happiness, without any sign, it just so suddenly become this kind of stages. I really couldn't believe it. Is there any mistakes that I did ? Am I being so kind or stupid for allowing this to happen ? I quite blaming myself to allows my boyfriend to attend for that dinner with his ex that day. Am I so stupid ?