Respect individuality. Patterns deserve respect but consider that one of the patterns of male behavior is like a mix of stubborness and pride. Men who know the patterns of male behavior understand that there are expectations which lock them into typical behavior. You can't express yourself when you keep getting pidgeonholed as a typical male drone that lives for sex. We want individuality or at least control over what expectations we conform to and saying "men are this" and "men are that" oversimplifies the issue (us humans love our convenience, don't we?).
Every male and female is a different entity and the common patterns break down the closer you look at them and the stereotypes cease to do individuals justice. Many men deny their urges out of spite for themselves. Many men deny their urges out of spite for the men who don't. Many men are looking for someone who considers them real, and not an illusion created out of another's expectations. So many people come into a relationship with their "dukes up" so to speak. An "in-between" guy is or may be privy to a lot of your feelings that aren't under the same pressure they were before when you were in a relationship and this may give him a certain insight to you that makes you very attractive to him. I'm not saying every guy is or even tries to be perceptive but some definitely do (are).
Since you're both adults it shouldn't be a big deal to be candid and eliminate any false pretenses before they become issues.
Maybe its just time for a heart-heart. A real one though.
Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My god, what have we done to you?