One night stand with a friend - where to go from now on?

[fxdx]

Hey you all,
this is a confusing situation for me and I'd like to get some advice from you guys about the following.

So we were at a party with a girl I've known for about 5 months, having some good time. We're both 20. During all that time we've been friends, we've had very little one-on-one conversations, because there would be a big group of us all the time. Anyway, last Friday we were dancing for hours and I could feel how she's becoming closer and closer with me. That really came to me as a surprise, but I was like okay... that's probably all there will be. But after the party we ended up going to her place, had some wine and when everyone was gone from the room, she would kiss me. After that she would take me to the bedroom and we had sex. The next morning we would cuddle for two hours in the bed, but not say a word about last night. Neither would we say anything about it later, well mainly because her best friend was there as well. So basically, we acted as if we slept in different rooms last night and nothing happened... which feels kind of weird.

Here's the part I can't figure out now - what to do next? One part of me says that I should definitely talk to her about it, because if we don't, it's going to be awkward the next time and I really do want to remain friends with her and not let this drift us apart. And the other part in me says that I should just let it go - we were both tipsy and what happened was nothing special... that's just normal average everyday thing nowadays. Maybe I am taking this too seriously, but I have no idea how these things work, because I've been in a relationship just once. Probably I don't want to take it to the next level, but if it should happen, I'll would just go with the flow. She's a real doll - pretty, sweet and gentle, but it feels that we're too different for it to work.

So the question is - how should I talk to her about it or should I just let it go?

[smackie9]

Uh dude it was the alcohol talking the night before. If she is hiding from her friend the fact you two screwed, she wants nothing more to do with it.....it was a one night stand, not an introduction to a relationship. It was just a good time, don't ruin the after glow by getting all gush for a relationship. If she is looking for more, sit back and let her come to you about it. If you push you will look like a pussy ass and scare her off. Sorry but that's how it works with girls....if the desire is there, she will peruse you.

[upandaway]

You absolutely need to talk to her about it. She may be feeling really weird about it all too. Say somethign like you had a great time, and you dont want things to be awkward between you two, and let the conversation go from there!

[fxdx]

Uh dude it was the alcohol talking the night before. If she is hiding from her friend the fact you two screwed, she wants nothing more to do with it.....it was a one night stand, not an introduction to a relationship. It was just a good time, don't ruin the after glow by getting all gush for a relationship. If she is looking for more, sit back and let her come to you about it. If you push you will look like a pussy ass and scare her off. Sorry but that's how it works with girls....if the desire is there, she will peruse you.

I don't think she was hiding from her friend that we had sex, I think it's just that you don't talk about something like that in front of other people. I believe that her friend knows about it. For sure it was not an introduction to a relationship and I have no intentions for it right now, but I just feel like instead of the after glow, there might be confusion on her side as well. And I'm not sure, if waiting is the right thing to do, because she seems to be more like a girl, who would be too shy to say anything about it, even if she had the desire...

[smackie9]

Ya she sobered up and wondered "why the hell did I sleep with him last night?

[smackie9]

It's not confusion, but more like embarrassment.

[smackie9]

It's obvious you have your mind set on talking to her about it.....so what are you going to say to her?

[Leona77]

Uh dude it was the alcohol talking the night before. If she is hiding from her friend the fact you two screwed, she wants nothing more to do with it.....it was a one night stand, not an introduction to a relationship. It was just a good time, don't ruin the after glow by getting all gush for a relationship. If she is looking for more, sit back and let her come to you about it. If you push you will look like a pussy ass and scare her off. Sorry but that's how it works with girls....if the desire is there, she will peruse you.

Funny that you said that, because this is exactly what many girls think about guys. I would personally expect for the guy to pursue me...Call me old-fashioned, but that's the way I think it should be...
Maybe she likes you and wants more from you but she is too proud to approach you first. Don't forget that many women are taught that they should postpone having sex with a guy to see if his intentions are genuine. Also, many girls believe that if a guy has had sex with them before he gets to know them romantically, he will lose any interest in them. Because of that, she might think that she has ruined her chances to have a relationship with you...Please make sure you know what you want with her boefore you want to find out what she wants. If you only wanted the sex (as you mentioned) it's better if you let it go...Don't think that yoy can be friends after that, acquaintances maybe...If you want a relationship, take a chance and ask her on a date
good luck

[fxdx]

Ya she sobered up and wondered "why the hell did I sleep with him last night?

I don't want to sound dandy, but I really don't feel like she was embarrassed about it nor had any regrets. I guess that she's just shy. And I really don't know what to say to her... that's why I'm here.

[Leona77]

I don't want to sound dandy, but I really don't feel like she was embarrassed about it nor had any regrets. I guess that she's just shy. And I really don't know what to say to her... that's why I'm here.

Do you know what you want? Calm your conscience that you only wanted sex or you actually want to get to know her better and have a relationship? It's easy. If you want to make sure she doesn't think of you as an arsehole, just let it go, or you will be giving her false hope. If you want a relationship, just tell her you'd like to talk to her

[fxdx]

Funny that you said that, because this is exactly what many girls think about guys. I would personally expect for the guy to pursue me...Call me old-fashioned, but that's the way I think it should be...
Maybe she likes you and wants more from you but she is too proud to approach you first. Don't forget that many women are taught that they should postpone having sex with a guy to see if his intentions are genuine. Also, many girls believe that if a guy has had sex with them before he gets to know them romantically, he will lose any interest in them. Because of that, she might think that she has ruined her chances to have a relationship with you...Please make sure you know what you want with her boefore you want to find out what she wants. If you only wanted the sex (as you mentioned) it's better if you let it go...Don't think that yoy can be friends after that, acquaintances maybe...If you want a relationship, take a chance and ask her on a date
good luck

Yea, exactly. I think that it should be the guy to do that as well. And it should of been me to bring up the subject next morning, but I had absolutely no idea what to say and now I feel kinda guilty for that... What I want is there to be no ice between us because of that night!

[smackie9]

LOL I'm just going from my experience. I blame it on the alcohol because when you sober up, your perspective definitely changes. What you should have done is ask her if it would be alright to give her a call later, and maybe go do something. and then talk to her about it.

[Leona77]

What I want is there to be no ice between us because of that night!

Oh there will be ice all right! A lot of it,too...If she wanted a relationship and you only approach her to 'melt the ice'' she will take your eyes out with the icicles lol...
If she saw it as a one night stand, there is no ice to begin with...just let it go and things will naturally fall into place if you don't want a relationship.
Somehow I am not convinced you are sure what you want and you want to see her reaction anyway?

[smackie9]

And yes opinion does change when a girl just sleeps with a guy...call me old fashioned, but it's true you look easy and the majority of guys don't look at you as GF material.

[Leona77]

Maybe you want to keep your options open and keep her lingering until you figure out what you want??? and possibly bang her one more time before you realize you don't care about the ice? just thinking...