I am totally clueless... What is this girl up too?

[jpyron]

Ok so I am sorry to say that this is going to be a rather long winded question because there are a lot of details involved. I have just gotten to the point though that I am so confused that I just don't know what this girl is trying to do. I have not been in a relationship of any kind for about three years. I turn 28 this year am I am looking for a meaningful, longer term relationship.
I will start at the beginning of all of the wierdness.
Back in October of 2009, I started a new job. My second or third day, I noticed this very attractive gorgous woman. I mean she was hard to miss you know, she was that good looking. She was so good looking in fact that I told my self instantly that there is no way I stood a snow balls chance in hell with her. Because of that, I never really talked with her. I would only say something to her when she said something to me. Things went on like this for awhile, then back around the end of Dec. 2009 or early Jan 2010, It was just me and her working late one night, she came up to me talking about something to do with work, I don't remember what. But she said to me "Listen, I know you don't like me because you think I am a bitch but......." I interrupted her, I said "Hold on, Who said I didn't like you?" She told me that she assumed I didn't like her because I never spoke to her. I apologized for the misunderstanding and from that moment on, I made the point of always saying hello and going out of my way to be nice and friendly towards her. Things went on that way for about a month while she bagan talking to me more and more. She got increasingly flirty with me. Now I know from working around her that she is a little flirty with everyone at work but I only noticed her doing certain things to me, some of them inappropriate for work, like pressing her breasts togather to make cleavage and then asking me if I liked them and if I thought they were big enough stuff like that. But we started talking at work, I wouldn't have said we were friends just chumy but she started talking to me and I started learning about her. The most important fact I learned was that she had a boy friend and the two lived togather. So not only did I think she was so good looking that there is no way I stood a shot, but she also had a live in boy friend who was the jealous type. Yeah so I wasn't about to make any kind of move on her, the thought never even crossed my mind.
So again a few weeks go by, it is March by this time and again me and her are both working late. Just as she is about to walk out the door to leave she stops and says to me. "So I think I am going out for a few drinks tonight. Do you want to come?" I was floored, I honestly never expected to here her ask me out for a drink. So she took my phone number and said she would call when she started out and let me know which bar she was going too. So yeah, I met her at the bar. She had one of her friends with her. After the first 15 minutes, I was convinced that she was trying to set me up with her friend, in fact, it was fairly obvouse at least so I thought. Towards the end of the evening, she started changing, telling her friend stuff that seemed like she was trying to keep us from getting togather, things like I had a thing for this other girl at work which was not true at all. I was thinking, what are you doing? Do you want us to get togather or not? Then the evening got really exciting. The jealous boyfriend walks in, and he is none to happy about me being out with his girl friend and her friend. He charges me at the bar, she jumps in between us and pulls him outside. I don't know what was said but, they both came back in later and he apologized to me for his actions. So he stayed the rest of the night. After we were done at the bar, she invited me back to her place for some more drinks. The boy friend didn't act like he liked the idea much and I was uncomfortable to be honest but I went anyway. So it got even more awkward later. She passed out drunk and the boyfriend made it very clear then that he wanted me out.
On my walk home, I was just happy to be out of there. I kept thinking to myself that I had dodged a bullet on this one. The next day at work, things were, well... different. She didn't talk to me the same. She would still say hello but all the flirty comments stoped and we were not really chumy and more, never really talked more than hello and goodby. I was Ok with that after all that had happened to be honest. Then the last week in March, she came to work and she was visually upset. I kept asking her what was wrong, she never would say. Finally she revealed to me that she had a bad fight with her boyfriend and that she was tired on him calling her names like Bitch ect. It turned out there was more to this story, that I would only learn later. Her mother came in to town after that so she took the next two weeks off of work. So life went on with out her there and I was so busy, I never even had time to notice that she was gone. When she came back to work, something again was different. She was grinning ear to ear. She came up to me and sadi "Hello my darling, did you miss me?" again, I was really suprised by her comments. I played it off and went with it, told her that yes I missed her and all of that. She then started asking me about work which I told her I had worked 6 days straight. So she proceeded to give me a back rub and neck massage right there in the middle of work, making the comment, "Don't get excited now!" Then she asked me if I wasnted to go out for another drink. I said no at first because of the boyfriend but she persisted and finally against my better judgement, I went out to the same bar with her again. This time she wasn't there with her friend, she was there with her younger sister. Again first 15 minutes, she really seemed like she was again trying to set me up with her sister. Then she gets up to go to the toilet and her sister leans into me and says. "My sister has told me all about you, she said that you were a really nice guy and that you are very funny. Anyway she likes you a lot." Well thats good I said, I like her aswell. Again though I took this comment with a gran of salt, mainly because of the whole boyfriend situation. Then later in the night through conversation she revealed to me that her and her boyfriend and broken up and he had moved out of their house. She then got really really flirty. I got up to go buy a round of drinks and she thought it would be funny to hide my jacket from me. I got back noticed my jacket was gone but also figured she had it so I didn't worry about it or anything. When it came to closing time, we got up and started to leave and I asked where my jacket was. She said, "I am hiding it in my pants, you want to come in and look for it" I said to myself, obvously she was joking, so I called her bluff. "Oh I'll go in a get it, don't worry about that." Ok, then come and get it then" she said as she sat back down and raised her arms to allow me full access to her pants. Now everyone, I am a gentleman, I was not about to pull this womans pants down in the middle of a bar, I just wasn't so I pretended to be drunk and fumbled with her belt and asked like I was too drunk to get her belt unbuckled. She also wanted me to walk her and her sister home saying stuff like there were two guys following them and they were scared. Maybe I should have went.... but this whole thing was just getting wierd and I was getting suspecious.
Then later that week in work, I learned from another employee that she had been seeing her ex-boyfriend on the side and he figured that they were probably going to get back togather.... Then she asked me to go out for another drink that night and said it would be just me and her tonight. She kept jokingly calling it a date. Then, just as I was about to leave work, she pulled me aside and told me that her ex-boyfriend wanted to go out for a drink tonight as well and wanted to know if I would be ok if he came along. I was thinking no f***ing way!, I told her no that the two of them were obvously trying to get back togather and that me being there would make things wierd and awkward and create more stain and tentions between me and her ex. She said OH don't be silly, but I didn't care, I wasn't going and I didn't. So then the next day at work, she told me that she didn't go out with him because she just didn't want to but that her and her sister were going out tonight and wanted me to come along with them. Again I foolishly agreed. During the night I made a comment that I though her and her ex were going to get back togather, her and her sister both said no way almost at the same time. She then told me that her and her ex were just friends. So the night went on and again see got very flirty. We were talking then out of no where she asked me "So if you and I were to have sex, would it be good? Would I enjoy it?" I almost spit my drink right back in her face. Wow that came out of no where. I didn't really know what to say to her to be honest, I mean in all honesty, it had been three years or longer since I have been with a woman so the raw realitiy of it was , no, she probably wouldn't enjoy it. I said, "well it depends". She said, "That is not the right answer. YOu are supposed to say, of course, it will be great, that you will rock my world!". Again very wierd but it would only get weirder. Then again, her ex walks in but her pretty much seems to ignore us. She got up went to the toilet and came back and said to me "Wow my ex is really jealous that you are here" Again the two were not even talking though. Then the night went on. The next thing I know, her ex comes out of no where. He isn't made or anything just says hello hangs around for a bit then walks out side, I thought that was the end then she grabs her purse tells me goodby and just like that she was gone. Left with her ex to go who knows where. As I was walking home that night I was very confused. She texted me the next mourning just saying she had fun and this and that and wanted to do it again. But I haven't been back out with her since.

Every instinct in my body is telling me to run, run for the hills and not look back because what ever is going on, it has trouble written all over it. But to be honest with you, I did enjoy going out with her, her friend and her sister. I really and truely had fun joking and laughing with them. And again, I do find her attractive.

I just don't really understand were I stand though. How does she see me? What is really going on with me and her, and her ex. I feel like I am getting dragged into a soap opera love triangle her.

To be honest with you, I have no idea what she is up to. I mean, really never talked enough at work for her to really truely ask me out as a friend I mean there are people at work I talk with more that I have never been out for drinks with. I don't think she wants to date me. I also dont' think she is trying to set me up with her friend or sister anymore. So what is she doing? And better yet, what should I do? Should I stop going out for drinks with her? I am not in love with her by any means don't get me wrong but, again I do find her attractive and most importantly, I enjoy being with her. I would date her if I thought I could, no problem but I just don't know what is going on. It is all very wierd. Anybody ever seen anything like this before? Any woman on the forum, some female insite would be greatly apprecated. It is just killing me that I am in the dark and to be honest, I kind of fill like I am being toyed with.

I left out a lot of details but I hope that is enough to understand what has been happening. She is still very flirting at work and calls me darling and baby, and sweety, and honey.

What is going on?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[xxazurexx]

I'm wondering why you even need to ask as to whether or not you should run from this screwball. Common sense says run and because this is a person who is no more than messing you around and has a jealous boyfriend into the bargain.

She sounds one totally messed up female. And that is the kinda female best avoided!!

Why don't you just ask her what her game is?

[jpyron]

Oh no, don't mis-understand me. I am not asking if I should run. Like I said in my post, I have not been out with her since that last night even though she asks me at least once a week. To my knowledge, she is still broken up with the boyfriend but they do still see each other on the side. This whole thing is just so wierd that I am trying to make since of it all. I have not even been on a date in over a year now, haven't been in a relationship in three years. These facts coupled with the fact that she is gorgous and more importantly that I have fun going out with her made me kind of continue in this game for longer than I really wanted to.

There is more to the story. I am an American but I moved to Europe 2 years ago. I have tried so hard but just haven't been able to start up a relationship over here. This girl is from a country where English is not a native language and while her English is very good, still there are sometimes when she doesn't understand when I ask her something. I have tried to ask her, what the deal was but either I was never able to make her understand or she is just using that as an excuss.

Right now, I am basically alone in this town and as I said, she is pretty much the only person I have to drink with. I really do enjoy hanging out with her and all but as I said and as you said, this obviously has bad news written all over it. I don't know. I guess my question wasn't weather or not I should run but I guess I am just trying to understand what she is doing. I mean it is not like I chased after her and she is leading me on, She approached me first. I just don't understand at all and just when I think I have things figured out, she pulls the wool over my eyes yet again. I think the language barrier does hamper things a bit. But I don't know.... really. I just brefly for about a four or five day period their between the second and third times we went out, thought that she might actually like me and that I might actually be able to start a relationship. So I am just frustrated so I am at least trying to make since of everything.

[xxazurexx]

I don't care how gorgeous she might be. Being gorgeous doesn't give anyone the right to mess you around and f**k with your head!

The fact she is still seeing her ex on the side, should be enough to make you see sense and run.

She's not serious about either of you and is playing with both of you.

Some women just like attention.

Find yourself a woman who you won't be 'second guessing' and who does want to be with you.
Don't waste your time on 'sloppy seconds' that go between different men.

Looks aint everything you know .

[lahnnabell]

This women is an attention-whore. Only attention whores ask their coworkers if they like their breasts and show off their cleavage. Only attention whores set up dramatic situations where their jealous, roid-rage boyfriend charges in to beat your face in. Only attention whores ask you back to their apartment only to pass out drunk, leaving you to deal with the incredibly awkward tension between you and roid-rage boyfriend. Only attention whores play hot and cold when they see they're not getting enough of your attention and sucker you in with back rubs and flirty behavior. GET OUT.

[jpyron]

Well, it pretty much sounds like you guys all agree with my instincts. Yeah, I wish things didn't have to be like this. Again I have fun with her but this all is just too crazy for me. I honestly don't know who I will hang out with and go out with now but yeah, I have been getting mixed signals from the start. Again it was mainly just my frustration with not being able to start up a relationship in my two years in this country that made me kind of over look things but yeah, I don't think I will drink with her anymore. I don't know what reason I will tell her but I just have a feeling that all this is going to do is cause me more troubles. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read and respond though. And also thanks to lahnnabell, that was mainly what I wanted right there. What she was doing was just confusing me so much that I wanted to understand what she was thinking and where I stood in all of this. You pretty much explained that.