Should I Walk Away?

[mahon451]

First things first- hello, and welcome to my first post (well, aside from one minor post last week).

Here's my story so far:

I'm 31 and male. She's 32 and female. We had a year-long, semi long-distance relationship (we live about 100 miles apart). She came to stay with me for a month when her job closed for winter break, and at the end of that month, she dumped me. Her reasons, and I quote, "nothing big, but a bunch of little things". There was brief talk about working things out, where she did the normal "give me my space" thing, and I did. After two weeks of no contact, she texts me saying that she's been seeing someone since we broke up, and in fact it was someone she'd met while she was living with me. She also elaborated on her reasons for ending things with me, and while some of them were true (i.e., I sometimes have trouble letting go, and I'm a worrier), some of the reasons were grossly exaggerated (she said I was lazy and unambitious, despite having a demanding and decent-paying job that I excel at, in addition to being an active musician).

*One thing to bear in mind- all of this was out of left field- we LOVED each other, and would frequently express to each other how amazing our relationship was.

Naturally, at this point I decided it would be best to cut off all contact, delete her info from my phone, etc. Fast-forward about a month and a half- wile I still miss and love her terribly, I'm getting on with things, and trying to improve/enhance my life as much as possible. Then, a few days ago, her sister (who a I am still friends with) told me that her and the new guy split, and that she's confused, and starting to feel like maybe she screwed up with me... but also that she doesn't want to jump into a committed relationship right now, she wants to date people casually and not have any obligations, so getting back together isn't on the table. I texted my ex, and we did the small talk thing, and tomorrow, I'm gonna call her (she knows this). Thing is, while she's sorta blowing in the wind, I very much want to reconcile. Her sister and her mom both love me, and have been trying to steer her my way, but I dunno... I can honestly say, in the 16 years that I've been dating, I've never had this situation pop up.

So- do I keep at it, hoping that she'll come around, or do I walk away? Anyone?

[overanxious]

i understand the attachment....and missing her and everything like that....but in the end its probably never going to work...i dont see these types of situations ending happily....its fractured...trust is fractured.....she left you for some reason and started seeing someone she knew when you were together(been there).....

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a ****ing idiot, on top of being a pathetic sap. She's now confused and thinks maybe she did the wrong thing, only after her new fling didn't work out. You're a fool.

Have sex with her, but don't let her spend the night. If you can't handle treating her like that, then just walk away. Don't even call her tomorrow. Don't answer her texts. Just fade.

Get back with her and she will **** you over again, and you will deserve it 100%.

[overanxious]

You're a ****ing idiot, on top of being a pathetic sap. She's now confused and thinks maybe she did the wrong thing, only after her new fling didn't work out. You're a fool.

Have sex with her, but don't let her spend the night. If you can't handle treating her like that, then just walk away. Don't even call her tomorrow. Don't answer her texts. Just fade.

Get back with her and she will **** you over again, and you will deserve it 100%.

while hes a bit harsh...hes right....her newfound supply of adoration and admiration is gone....and shes looking back to where she knows it still exists

even though i know things have been done and said over the last 7 months that would make this scenario impossible to ever happen....once or twice ive imagined the scenario where my exs new relationship doesnt work out...like a year or so from now...and she contacts me....and i just see no way possible id ever want to speak to her on that level at all