Ungrateful girlfriend is driving me crazy am I dumb to hope she changes

[bassman123]

So my girlfriend is ungrateful almost a spoiled brat. Shes doesnt have a reason to act so entitled...shes 5 years older than me and has 2 kids from different dads no job and is kind of lazy. I couldnt believe I was falling with her when I did and I decided to go for it and accept every bit of baggage in her life just to be with her.

She asks me to do so many things for her I feel like our relationship is out of sync. Ill literally spend hours of my time helping her and at the end of the day she wont even cook me a meal cause she "doesnt feel like it". Whenever I ask her to do anything she usually helps me out but more often than not shell drag her feet or jusg make an excuse. Im not even talking about driving me places or things like that ill straight up ask for a bj and shell always refuse cause its too mucb work for her.

She doesnt clean when I ask her too and she really needs to. Shell cook for me about 30% of the time when I ask. Ivenoticed shell only help me with things that dont inconvenience her...like borrowing something.

To be fair there isnt much for her to help me with, but thats what bothers me so much...I give her money when she needs it, drive her places, talk on the phone with her when shes feeling down even if im at work or could be doing something else. Ill miss out on things with my friends just to help her and half the time it turns out I didnt even need to be there...I stayed over her house for a week straight not leaving cause ahe needed me to watch her kids to run some errand but she never even did the errand and was with me the whole time.

I do all this stuff and when I ask her to just go to the store and coom its practically a fight to get her to do anything...all I ask of her is to cook and blow me and she hardly does either. Anytime I bring up the stuff I do for her she always starts yelling "THIS IS WHY I HATE ASKING YOU FOR STUFF CAUSE YOU ALWAYS THROW IT IN MY FACE" but I feel like I can throw that stuff in her facd cause even though you shouldnt do favors expecting something in return dont you think that youd be a fool to keep helping someone who isnt interested in helping you? Am I crazy?

Worst of all when I cant do something she asks she gets angry and wont talk to me and just gets in a bad mood that is supposed to make me uncomfortable.

When I started noticing her manipulation we started fighting all the time...if she asks me for something and I cant do it im not just unavailable im messing up her plans and she gets mad at me for basically having my own life and tries to make me feel terrible. Then when I do stuff for her she hardly shows gratitude as if I was expected to do it the whole time...I always tell her shes ungrateful but she denies it all the time the. We start fighting and it blows up into this stupid stuff...

I love her but I dont feel appreciated, saying thank you is ok but I tell her I want her to show me she cares about me and she never does...

What do you all think im at my breaking point...I just had a talk with her about how I dont feel appreciated and then the next night she gets mad at me cause I coulndt drive 45 minutes to give her her phone cause I didnt have a car and im sick. I blew up at her and told her I dont want to deal with her ungrateful bull anymore...am I sane? Her whole family agrees with me and they often tell me im too nice to her...other aspects of our relationship are amazing but I cant get past this and im sick of feeling so unappreciated.

[Boisdevie]

Dump her you pussy.

[dickriculous]

The things a boy will tolerate for a piece of ass...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Cheat on her. Tell her about it. Dump her.

[Starnique]

Yes. You are being dumb because no she will not change. Not only does she not show you any appreciation, she disrespectful as well insulting your dick, according to your other post. Them kids aren't yours, you not married to her, you have no ties to her, so just break up with her. Don't even give her an explanation. Just say, you're not what I'm looking for and im moving on.

[anastasis]

Dump that whore.

[surfhb2]

You lost me at 2 kids from different dads and no job......there's a reason why her life is pathetic and you are seeing why first hand my poor friend

[bassman123]

Yeah...I actually did just dump her...after writing all this it made me realize how bad it is. I didnteven see the responses I just wrote endit and did it.

[TheEvilJester]

This reminds me a lot of my ex-wife. Problem for me was she decided to hide all her selfish bullcrap until we were married. So, I literally wound up married to somebody who had been a complete lie. You should thank God that you are finding this stuff out now. Maybe I am just biased here, but judging by the other responses you have received, I am guessing not.... My advice would be to end the relationship. People like this will never change. You seem to have the right attitude, too in that you don't do favors for somebody just because you expect favors in return.... However, that isn't really the situation here. The situation is that you give, give, give and all she does is take, take, take. That is NOT okay. You deserve better than that. Anybody would.

Your best bet is to get out of that relationship, take some time to be alone and be happy with you, then find a woman who will appreciate all your do for her. One who will be just as happy doing things for you as you are in doing things for her. Good luck, my friend.

[surfhb2]

Yeah...I actually did just dump her...after writing all this it made me realize how bad it is. I didnteven see the responses I just wrote endit and did it.

You da man! Now go out and bang as many girls as you can for awhile and get sorted

[AnErin]

Did you find her on craigslist?
You think she or any woman should give you a BJ on command? Dream on.

Anyways, let us know when you get back with her.

[bassman123]

On command? Idealy but obviously not. Once every months would have been an upgrade to put it in prospective

[TheEvilJester]

LOL! Can't speak for bassman, but to me the sexual act, or lack of it, isn't really the point here. I would agree that you shouldn't expect this on command... heck it shouldn't even be required at all. Nice if you like it and she is okay with doing it, but it shouldn't be expected.

More the point was the overall attitude. He gave all the time, and she did nothing but take. She did nothing to show worth as a human being. As if that weren't bad enough, not only did she take, take, take, but she didn't appreciate it one bit. I mean, Hell, you could even at least give her some props if all she did was take, but she at least appreciated it. But, of course, that is never the case with people like this. ...Then again, maybe I'm just describing my ex-wife. LOL!

(P.S. For the record, in case anybody was wondering, I only complain about her so much here because this is sort of my outlet for my relationship/ex/social anxiety frustrations. In reality, I'm actually to the point where I can go days, even weeks without her so much as even popping into my head. And good riddance, at that.)

[Thoreaumom]

This is a pretty dysfunctional relationship and kind of appalling to hear described. After being married for 20+ years I can tell you that all the moms I have been around are pretty exhausted attending their kids and home and often tired by 9. Then all the dads complain about how the sex sucks after kids because the mom is so tired.
What is disturbing is that bassman is turning an act of love into little more than compensation for kindness. Isn't asking for a BJ as 'repayment' for thoughtful behavior treating your ex like a hooker? Sex is not a quid pro quo for a ride, a favor, or a coversation when someone is having a tough day.

Being appreciative and thankful and thoughtful is something EVERYONE can improve on. Every relationship needs balance, but NO relationship is balanced 50-50 ever, or all the time. There is always one persons needs that are higher or require more for a time, and then it shifts to the other persons needs. The question is whether over the whole relationship you get what you need, not just in a small snapshot of a limited time. If not, its done, move on. HER needs may be greater for a time because there are small children and other factors, like an abusive ex, a parent unexpectedly killed, medical conditions, and additional stresses like a boyfriend breaking up with her every other week and putting her on an emotional roller coaster. And of course, Christmas always strains a mom especially, because it is the mom that shops, decorates, and plans all the suprises for any kids. Any man that chooses to be part of a womans life that has kids has to know that that life is complicated and the kids should come first. But WHY throw in her face what you do? Do it because you want to. because it makes you feel good about yourself or the relationship, but not because you think she 'owes' you something, especially if she didn't ask for the help you provided.

posting here seems like an easy way to grab support from strangers based on some limited facts. All of you saying 'ditch that girl' and 'don't think twice' won't be blowing bassman any more than the girl he dumped. She's not going to be too forgiving when he realizes that crude postings aren't going to keep him warm or provide company.

[bassman123]

Lissa you dont know the whole story anyways. And the point of this post wasnt short term gratification it was an outlet for my stress. I didnt leave her because of what these people said. You have experienced her ungratefulness first hand with your case. Imagine that type of attitude and excuses in a relationship. Dont tell me shit about my relationship allthough I do respect you mind your business cause your only concern should be improving her not demonizing me even when you dont know what the **** you are talking about