Emotional infidelity?

[LiveLaughLove]

Hello,
I'm new to this forum and I just registered because I want an outsiders opinion on what I just discovered. I met my current boyfriend online in June last year. I was about to move to his city within a couple of months, so we were just talking online until we met in August last year. From the start we quickly grew attached to each other and we spent hours talking every day on Skype. When we met, it instantly got "serious". We've lived together since march this year, and we recently signed a contract to rent a flat together for six months.
Lately I've been noticing that he wants to hide his Facebook and phone from me, and always making sure he's logged out etc when I'm around. I thought that was weird as he's never been like that before. So I did something bad yesterday, that I know you're not meant to do, but I had this feeling and I had to find out. So I looked at his private Facebook messages.

I can't remember exactly what they said, because I didn't read everything, but basically he's talking to two girls online. One who he's been on a date with (he told me once, but according to the message it was twice). He's telling her how he likes everything about her, he's being very flirty etc. he also sent pics to her (and the other girl) of himself, showing way too much. And asked for pics in return. To the other girl, he said things like "I wish my gf had a body like yours" etc. he described his ideal girl as petite and slim etc, which is like the opposite of what I am. I'm not fat, but I'm curvy in the right places, and quite tall (5'6). It was very hurtful to read how he finds them very attractive, when he rarely tell me I'm beautiful. He said he has no intention to cheat on me physically, but he wants to flirt an meet up etc. To me, that's just as bad, and I'm really hurt. He's never had a girlfriend before, and only slept with one girl before me. Maybe the reason he went with me was because he didn't think he would get anything else? As I'm apparently not his type. Maybe it's because he's insecure he needs to talk to other girls and show them pictures. Or maybe he's just an asshole. Everything else is fine, we have a lot of fun together and I genuinely think he likes me and would be sad if we broke up. Buy why is he talking to others, asking for nude pics and sending nude pictures?

I'm really hurt and don't know what to do. I can't move out, because we've paid 6 months rent already. I don't know if I can trust him if I stay, especially when I know he's not even that attracted to me. What's the point being in a relationship where you feel unattractive? I haven't talked to him yet, I just know he's meeting one of the girls today.

What should I do?

[Boisdevie]

Clearly the relationship is dead. So what do you do for accomodation? Have you paid 6 months rent in advance? Can you back out of the contract. Can you find somewhere else to live and leave him with the flat?

[LiveLaughLove]

That's the thing though, it doesnt feel like its dead, because everything else is great. Maybe it's for him though, but at the same time I know he wants to stay together. There's no way of backing out of the contract.. If I'd move out I'd lose 5 months worth of rent, I dont think I can afford that. I don't have any family here I could stay with, they're all back in my home country, and I don't really have any friends. Only a few, but I can't stay at them. He's pretty much the only one I have here.

[Boisdevie]

because everything else is great.

So great that he's talking to other women and is clearly not happy with your body shape. Not exactly brilliant then is it? He wants to stay together? What about what you want? Do you want to continue with this level of disrespect? Me, I have more respect for myself than to put up with that kind of shit.

So you either move back to your home country or accept what seems to be a really shitty relationship. Good luck with that then.

[vashti]

This is never going to work out. He is actively dating other women.

If he has paid his share of the rent for the next 6 months, find someone else who will take over his lease, and tell him to move out

Can you not go home to your family?

[Wakeup]

I haven't talked to him yet, I just know he's meeting one of the girls today.

What should I do?

Find out where they're meeting, meet them there 10 mins past the meetup time and walk over to them and introduce yourself as his live-in girlfriend, take a seat and smile pretty.

I don't understand why you wouldn't immediately tell him upon finding all this out that what he is doing is unacceptable and disrespectful and that you didn't want him to continue and if he won't give it up then you're outta there. If you didn't pay the rent money up front then just stiff him for the 6 month lease on his own. You'll be leaving to go back home anyway so I'd not worry about that. Don't even consider staying with him... You'll never be able to trust him when he's not with you... and, for good reason.