Most confusing person ever?

[Storck]

This may be a bit long winded but stick with me, its quite entertaining. I am doing a degree at the moment and have been there for one year about to finish my exams. Our class is mostly guys, but there are 3 girls, one of which I quite liked the look of but never really spoke to. She looked really cute, cool and pretty! Until one day she runs up to me in the corridor and asks me to go to the cinema with her, to which I replied "ok, who else is going" Turns out it was a friendly thing. No problem. But why me? there's loads of guys she speaks to and Im probably one of the guys she speaks to the least. Anyways then she adds me on msn, and on facebook, and wants my number, and starts sitting next to me in class. Now im thinking..hmm. I did notice on facebook she had a boyfriend so i thought i better back myself off so i don't get disapointed. Fine, no problem. But one day I finish martial arts and I have a txt saying shes just broke up with her boyfriend and shes feeling down. Now i think maybe there might be a chance but seeing as im quite a level headed person, optimistic and pessimistic in equal measure, i don't read too much into it for the same reasons. Next thing I know we're talking about the cinema on msn and "me and dave were really confused about why you invited us" she says "he always stares at me i swear it" "ok so why did you invite me?" "you stare at me too?" "im not gonna lie, yeah" "phew i thought it would get throw back at me" "so it only goes one way?" "i guess i kinda like you :S"
I was, for a brief moment, elated! and i said i really liked her alot.
"why confused though?" "i like -ex- too, sorrrryyyy"
Back down to earth. I have to admit i felt completely gutted for a day or two, but ive been through break ups, and ive felt a lot lot worse.
-ex- is her ex before last, but this is where things start to get more than a little confusing.
"he's my best friend" this is where i really back off, but she says she "can't decide"...I back completely off now. No harm done.
However she said to me one day she wants to start seeing me but not take it seriously, and that she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't wanna hurt me..... I'm like ok, and then she says she wants me to kiss her, but seems to prevent opportunities for me to do so from occuring.
Then one day she txts me saying "I think we should just be friends" anyone heard that one before? lol. I thought it would be incredably immautre for me to say no, and i like her personality so, fine, move on! When i asked her why friends? what changed? she says " please don't take this the wrong way but i don't find you phsically attractive, its not like your ugly, cause your not, i just have a wierd taste in men". I wasn't offended, i dont think im ugly but im not a 'stud' lol. The only thing i can impress her with is martial arts, guitar and my personality. Except one day i was speaking to her on msn and she wants to come round my house at 1am, i tell my friend to leave because she wants it to just be me and her, and basically at 6am everything kicks off and she stays in my bed for a total of 24 hours. But I am still not attached, because im protecting myself, and i won't let myself be played. Im the kind of guy that likes a relationship, even though what happened was very cool!
And now shes 'seeing' -ex- though she is single, and they spend alot of time together. What the hell happened that day? did she never really like me at all? or did i put her off somehow? Its obvious she likes -ex- better than me, and im not holding out, but i don't understand her logic at all and if anyone can tell me what she was thinking that would be great to put it to rest so to speak!
And why does she look at me in class like she did that day sometimes?

What was she thinking!?

btw one day she said to me "you both have the same humour as each other" refering to me and him, after everything has happened. 'both' lol
ps. she hasn't explicitly said 'lets just be friends' after staying round but has said "im sorry things couldn't work out", and we've been out as friends since to places, but now things are more than slightly awkward in class.

Also seeing as i like her alot...maybe i should politely back off from being friends?

[Charisma]

lol, she IS confusing. Jeez, if I were in your boots, I'd be telling her to rethink how she's treating you if she's wanting to be *just friends*. No, in fact, I think after all that I'd just think *wtf* and move on.

Why? Cos she's like telling you one day you're not physically attractive, then one day telling you she broke up with her ex/bf/ex-who-she's-seeing/I-can't-tell-anymore, then one day coming over to yours at 1am(and doing what you sort of implied), then one day saying sorry for things not working out. As far as I can tell, it's her that isn't putting any effort into making anything work. She's either seriously confused, or she's content jumping between spending time with you, then spending time with her bf, then jumping back to you, and being content with it too. She might never learn to sort her head out, but until then you're getting messed about(even if you deny it-you wouldn't be here asking advice, and you wouldn't be feeling awkward about how to act if you didn't have any worries).

So........If you still want to be friends with this girl, I suggest making some rules and keeping boundaries.(e.g. Making sure you don't get into awkward conversations on msn, not going to the cinema together unless you're sure friends will be coming too, not letting her come to yours if yous both end up alone, getting other people to sit beside you in class).

At least from my point of view, this girl seems to be able to dance about with her ex and you, and that's like having 2 cakes to eat.

[francoatgrex]

...and basically at 6am everything kicks off and she stays in my bed for a total of 24 hours. But I am still not attached, because im protecting myself, and i won't let myself be played...

Clearer explanation is missing here because this statement is at odds with the general tone of the post. You won't let yourself be played? You are joking aren't you? You are already being played like a guitar by Hendrix. You are saying/implying too much "yes/whatever/cool..." to her. You should 1) know exactly what you want from her and 2) be firm and say what you want without being too obliging/servile.

[Storck]

Thanks for the post Charisma, confusing huh? But i did already set myself up boundarys, I think the next one will be not both of us alone together, especially in class lol.

francoatgrex

Ill be clearer, she asked me to kiss her so i did - at 6am- thats when we started making out.The next day i slept with her and she left at 1am the next night, and by that time i was incredably happy lol. I felt really lucky. Thats why im not being played. Though I do like her, I don't have strong feelings for her so i could easyily be fine, if things go nowhere. I can see what you mean, but no, im not being played at all. I said I wanted a relationship one day btw, and she said, "well i dont". Even though she just came out of one....wierd! Actually I've not spoken to her properly in about a week. So I don't think its going anywhere right now. However my optimistic side thinks that maybe one day she'll come around. But I definately wouldn't treat anything seriously, if anything ever were to happen.

Thanks for the replys!