Should I leave my boyfriend now before it's too late?

[Bebgrande276]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We love each other a lot, have similar things in common, and get along really well. However, there is one major issue that has always been a conflict in our relationship. My boyfriend thinks it is wrong for me to go out clubbing or going to bars with my friends. (Before I continue, my boyfriend is always studying because he is premed, however my major is not as rigorous,meaning that I have more free time in my hands to go out.i am also turning 21 years old next month.)I on the other hand would not have a problem If he wants to go out with his friends because I trust him. I have had over a million conversations saying that he does not trust me or is insecure, but he just says that it's disrespectful for me to go clubbing when you're in a relationship. I worry that I'm doing the wrong thing staying with him. I love him a lot, and he makes me happy. However, going out with my friends clubbing or to bars also makes me very happy. Right now, I have not gone out with my friends drinking or clubbing because I know it will hurt my boyfriend. I do it because I care a lot, but I don't know if I'm letting him control me. I don't know if this is one of the sacrifices you make in a relationship. I was also asked by my friends to go on a cruise for my 21st birthday, but my boyfriend does not approve of it. I don't know if I should choose the right thing to do, or to choose what makes me happy. Many people will tell me to leave him, but he has made me more dedicated towards school and has helped me with my career goals. He has also treated me extremely well and has never tried to hurt me. He has also been there for me through everything. But I also have my friends who I use to go out clubbing with which he does not approve of. Please help me

[Boisdevie]

As long as you're not going out shagging, what you do in your spare time is your business. If he doesn't like it tell him to sod off. Frankly it's none of his business what you do when you're not together.

[IndiReloaded]

You shouldn't have to choose between 'right' and 'happy'. You are 21. Go for happy.

Go ahead and ask him what his real issue is, but know that you aren't bound by his concerns. Would he have a problem if you were going out w/your friends to the Four Seasons lounge? I doubt it.

BTW, there is no such thing as 'premed'. Its just a program (usually bio or chem or some mix of) where 80% of the med school wannabes never make it. Tell him to life is short and to have some fun before he dies.

[smackie9]

His view on relationships is different than yours, so in reality you are not compatible. IMO you never let a man control you in that manner. You are not doing anything disrespectful, you are living your life. If dumping is what it takes do it. Hun you will be miserable if you stay with this guy. What's next, you are not allowed to give a male co-worker a lift home? Tell him goodbye and enjoy your birthday

[basilandthyme]

bebgrande, you're going to resent him very much if you stay with him. And a cruise for your 21st sounds awesome!

[haxan]

21 is not the age to settle into a lifestyle that's compatible. Enjoy having fun with your friends, being married and raising kids, a job, a mortgage, 24/7 responsibility is waiting down the road, don't rush it. Then you won't be debating hanging out clubs with your s/o, because you'll have been there, done that, and won't care.

[michelle23]

Find a guy that wants to go out clubbing with you. Your young and should be having fun. Hes too serious and it does sound controlling. My boyfriend doesn't really drink and isnt into the clubbing scene but has never stopped me going out with my friends, never complained about it. Hell even drop me and collect me when I go and buy me a burger after. And if I want him to come with me-he will go.

You shouldnt have to ask his permission to do anything. he doesnt own you. I tell my bf "im meeting the girls for a chinese tonight, do you want me to bring you back a curry?" and hell say "ya thanks babe". or he tells me "calling to my mum on the way home so ill be a bit late" and I say "fine, text me when your on the way and ill put on dinner" etc.

You cant stop each other from doing anything and as long as you have clear relationship boundaries, trust and respect-going out with your friends should not be an issue.