It's so hard

[soulsurvivor23]

... no matter who she is, what she did, what I did, what went wrong... regardless of all the different variables, it's hard to accept living the rest of your life without a person that was there with you and for you, every day and every night for almost 2 years. Even though I do know there was probably a lot more bad than good, moving forward it feels like I lost a big part of me, and this no contact thing while I know is best for me, is absolutely tearing me up inside. It's barely even been a week and it feels like an eternity.

[soulsurvivor23]

Yes i'm venting... not because I really need advice, and not because I don't know what to do.. but rather because I just need to get my thoughts out here to keep me from going back... I will go to the ends of the earth before I will ever contact her again, I have finally decided that I will stick with my guns on that. It's just really hard to live it down.