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Thread: She Lied About Her Sexuality

  1. #1
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    She Lied About Her Sexuality

    Need some advice... preferably from both males and females!

    I met a wonderful girl through my best friend's girlfriend. Now we are two best friends dating two best friends.

    Everything has been working out well with this girl. We get along very well, and we've been seeing each other for four months now. I've met her family, she's met mine. Everything is perfect. Same interests, same hobbies, common friends, et cetera.

    This is what happened that made me doubt a lot of things... She's always been honest with me (as far as I know). One night about two weeks ago she was out smoking with my friend's girlfriend, a common friend of ours and she "confessed" to them that she (my girlfriend) is bi-sexual, but that she doesn't want to tell me because she's scared of how I will react.

    Her friend told my best friend, and he just told me half an hour ago, because he thought I deserved to know. I'm Catholic, and she knows that Catholicism is anti-gay. I personally don't care one bit. As long as you're happy, right? She has also told me in the past that she was "bi and curious" when she was younger, but that she's not anymore.

    My friend told me not to hold any grudges, and to NOT confront her with this information.

    I am totally cool with gay people. And with bi-sexual people. But I guess dating one has put some doubts in my head...

    My questions are...
    Won't she, in time, feel that she's not getting "enough" out of being with a man and go looking for more, i.e. a female sexual partner?

    Should I be upset with her for not telling me? Do I have the right to be upset with her?

    Should I not trust her anymore?

    Most importantly... should I confront her and ask her why she lied to me? Should I be hostile or understanding? I'm kind of upset, and confused right now.

    Hoping you all can help me out again with my love issues. Thanks a lot in advance!

  2. #2
    Illusional's Avatar
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    one word, threesome. if she ever gets tired of your dick and wants another girl to join in the action, then all the better for you right?

    forget about this little problem because you'll come across a lot more difficult situations in life.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  3. #3
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    Everything has been working out well with this girl. We get along very well, and we've been seeing each other for four months now. I've met her family, she's met mine. Everything is perfect. Same interests, same hobbies, common friends, et cetera.
    Everything has been working out for you guys, you get along...keep that in mind..

    she doesn't want to tell me because she's scared of how I will react.
    You said that she told you that she was bi-sexual or bi-curious when she was younger but isn't anymore...well how did you react the first time? Maybe she's scared to tell you because of the way you acted then...

    I personally don't care one bit. As long as you're happy, right?
    If you don't care whether she is or not, then why are you making such a big deal about it?

    I am totally cool with gay people. And with bi-sexual people. But I guess dating one has put some doubts in my head...
    ...because clearly you're not that "cool" with gay/bisexual people..



    My questions are...
    Won't she, in time, feel that she's not getting "enough" out of being with a man and go looking for more, i.e. a female sexual partner?

    Should I be upset with her for not telling me? Do I have the right to be upset with her?

    Should I not trust her anymore?

    Most importantly... should I confront her and ask her why she lied to me? Should I be hostile or understanding? I'm kind of upset, and confused right now.
    Sure, she may feel like she's not getting "enough" .. I guess it depends on her..

    I wouldn't be upset with her not telling you because it may be that she didn't tell you for the reason I posted above...when she told you about when she was younger...her telling you that was probably to see how you would react if/when she told you the truth..that she really is still bi.

    I think she probably really does like you quite a bit if she's worried you're going to freak and leave her because of her preferred sex..I would say you should be somewhat understanding. You should never be hostile about anything with anyone because the only way to get through anything is by talking it through.

    Your friend told you not to confront her..in a way he's right because you may be getting him in trouble with his g/f because she probably told him trusting he'd say nothing..that's what boyfriends and girlfriends do..and she didn't want to tell you. Eventually, yes confront her..but give her some time. She did just confront her friends about it, too...so yeah I'd just give her time..let her come to you.

    You haven't had reason not to trust her other than this one semi-small thing, so I wouldn't worry too much about the trust thing....

  4. #4
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    one word, threesome. if she ever gets tired of your dick and wants another girl to join in the action, then all the better for you right?

    forget about this little problem because you'll come across a lot more difficult situations in life.
    If they were in a just-sex relationship of **** budies, yes. But if he really loves her, i'm sure he doesn't want her to cheat on him.

  5. #5
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    I am assuming you are young people, and I think it is very normal for young girls to be bi-curious these days. It is very trendy, and encouraged in pop culture. Therefore, the fact that she used to be, but isn't anymore, is probably just an indication she is growing up a little bit and developing into her own person, so I don't think you should worry about it.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Are you worried about her being interested in other men? If you're insecure about her wanting something other that what you are, you could go on all day about what that might be. The fact that you don't have a vagina is just one thing to concern yourself with. Maybe she likes blondes. Will that mess with your head if you're not blond?

    Don't worry about this. At all. Work on thrilling her with what you are and don't even think about what you aren't. She probably won't either.

    If you're worried about her thinking you're judgemental, you might want to bring up in conversation something to illustrate your liberal thinking. Casually.
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quit being a pussy you Jesus-head. Tell her you want to see her eat another girl out. Have an orgy.

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    ^^^ Yeah, never mind what I've said. Listen to this guy. He's the picture of happiness.
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    ^^^ She's the picture that says "USE ME FOR SEX AND DINNER!"

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    Twat's that? You're cooking Lebanese tonight? Good houseboy!
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  11. #11
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    lol

    I do miss you guys.

    Sex is sex, just remember that.
    There are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable; life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only Being. - Albert Einstein

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    Um, question for the original poster: Baked, how exactly did she lie? Can you please point out to me how she was duplicitous? Misleading? She hasn't even really committed a sin of omission, as far as I can see. Sounds to me like she was as up-front as she dared to be.

    I think this is completely a you problem and not at all a her problem.
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  13. #13
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    As an actual bisexual (as in, I could just as easily have a committed relationship with a woman as with a man), her dealings should be judged just as any old heterosexual person. Personally, I've NEVER told a guy, "Okay, tired of dick for right now, I'm in the mood for some muff!" and expected that to be okay. Genitalia is genitalia. Cheating is cheating. A relationship is a relationship.

    The trendy "bar-room bisexuals" have really given the rest of us a bad name.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glyph View Post
    Genitalia is genitalia. Cheating is cheating. A relationship is a relationship.
    ^^^ She rocks.
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  15. #15
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    I second Glyph, Giga and Vashti.

    No biggie.

    I don't see where she lied?

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