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Thread: confused about my sexuality - need advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    confused about my sexuality - need advice

    Hi everyone. I'm a woman on my late twenties and had serious long-term relationships before. Was truly in love with a guy before but it didn't work out because a third party was involved. Been single and unattached for a couple of years now because I'm kinda picky when it comes to dating/relationships. Some guys courted me but I haven't found one that I'd like as my bf. Despite being single (in the literal sense), I'm not complaining because my life is quite fulfilling because I've got a wonderful family and friends, good job, and many recreational activities to keep me entertained.

    Lately, I found myself very attracted to this officemate of mine. We're not close but I used to smile or say hi to her whenever we see each other. But now when I see her around, I shy away and try not to look her way by ignoring her -- where in reality, I just make this subtle glances towards her to prevent myself get caught staring. I'm afraid I can no longer initiate a conversation/or just greet her because I'm afraid that I may say something stupid or worse, she will discover my feelings.

    Because of this, I'm now questioning my "sexual" preferences and I'm scared. I can't explain now that fact that I'm VERY attracted to this girl. Sometimes I can't sleep well and constantly thinking about her. I imagine myself kissing her lips or hug her, not all the way down (if you catch my drift). For the record, I'm NOT turned on looking at nude girls or girl-to-girl action. I get turned on when watching porn movies involving man and woman. Can't help but wonder if I'm bisexual or this is just passing experience that most girls experience at least once in their lives.

    I'm interested to hear about your thoughts about my current situation. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    157
    i believe it's just a moment that you are going through since you still couldn't find the guy of your dreams without noticing you turned to the other gender. i've never been in such a situation. try to clear your head and make your plans in your life set what you want in your futur with the guy of your dream then try to be less picky because no one is 100% perfect. see how much qualities that matches the one you value more etc
    but to be honest that's all i could think of now, i know it's hard to be confused in your own emotions, i think that you consider this girl as the perfect man that you think has everything you r looking for in a partener(maybe). try to see her as a person who is looking for the right man too just like you or maybe she is settle all ready.who knows.
    in this situation it's hard to reveal your feelings. i guess. i know we all have a small manish side in us.
    but i don't know it's even hard for me to understand how you feel know or what's going on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by confused01
    i believe it's just a moment that you are going through since you still couldn't find the guy of your dreams without noticing you turned to the other gender. i've never been in such a situation. try to clear your head and make your plans in your life set what you want in your futur with the guy of your dream then try to be less picky because no one is 100% perfect. see how much qualities that matches the one you value more etc
    but to be honest that's all i could think of now, i know it's hard to be confused in your own emotions, i think that you consider this girl as the perfect man that you think has everything you r looking for in a partener(maybe). try to see her as a person who is looking for the right man too just like you or maybe she is settle all ready.who knows.
    in this situation it's hard to reveal your feelings. i guess. i know we all have a small manish side in us.
    but i don't know it's even hard for me to understand how you feel know or what's going on.
    Thanks for your insight.

    By the way, I failed to mention that when I was in grade school, I had a couple of girl crushes -- most notably, our class valedictorian. She was very pretty, smart, kind, and down-to-earth. But I must reiterate that of all those experiences, I didn't harbor any sexual fantasies about them. I'm trying to figure out why I am quite drawn to these type of women once in a while.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14
    im like the opposite. im like almost always attracted to female physically but when it comes to relationship i tended to be involved in men. oh im a lady by the way.

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