Hey Guys, Thank You In Advance For Any Advice You'll Give.x
Where should I start? Okay, well I've had a boyfriend for just over a month now but I've known him for half a year. We have a lot of the same interests in creativity and he's such a lovely boy.
In the past, all I've ever known is stupid guys that aren't worthy. I've known & dealt with guys who just don't know what they want and are completely controlled by sex....
...Then I met him. He has his head screwed on. He knows what he wants and I know his mama raised him well. He's ambitious and I think he's the type to settle down.
So you're probably thinking what's the problem? I think I'm the problem. Because of my past, I'm also a strong minded girl but I'm used to never having to really sit and have deep conversations and really connect because where I tried to do that in the past, I couldn't and now, it's almost like I've forgotten how. I know how crazy that must sound but it's true. I feel I'm not good enough for him because he's smart and so independent. I feel lower than him because I don't quite know what to do with him.
I can't explain it at all and I'm hoping someone will understand what I am getting at. You see, I don't know what to do with him. When it's a boy that wants me sexually, I always say no and that's usually the basis of our conversations; they try and get it and don't so they try harder and they still don't. I have respect for myself which is why I don't give it up - but guys always try and get it. My current boyfriend doesn't particularly want it and so for me it's something new because I don't know his gameplan. Think of it as troubled-misled-girl-from-the-hood meets smart-ambitious-mr-right because although it isn't that extreme, it is very similar
I can't talk to him about it because I don't want to point out what's bad about me and put him off. My friends don't understand. They think I should just enjoy the happiness and stop thinking of ways that I'm not good enough. I don't want him to get bored and leave me for someone who is on his wave-length, if that makes sense?
Can anyone help me?