Hood Meets Perfection - How Does She Handle It?? Help...

[MzConfused]

Hey Guys, Thank You In Advance For Any Advice You'll Give.x

Where should I start? Okay, well I've had a boyfriend for just over a month now but I've known him for half a year. We have a lot of the same interests in creativity and he's such a lovely boy.

In the past, all I've ever known is stupid guys that aren't worthy. I've known & dealt with guys who just don't know what they want and are completely controlled by sex....
...Then I met him. He has his head screwed on. He knows what he wants and I know his mama raised him well. He's ambitious and I think he's the type to settle down.

So you're probably thinking what's the problem? I think I'm the problem. Because of my past, I'm also a strong minded girl but I'm used to never having to really sit and have deep conversations and really connect because where I tried to do that in the past, I couldn't and now, it's almost like I've forgotten how. I know how crazy that must sound but it's true. I feel I'm not good enough for him because he's smart and so independent. I feel lower than him because I don't quite know what to do with him.

I can't explain it at all and I'm hoping someone will understand what I am getting at. You see, I don't know what to do with him. When it's a boy that wants me sexually, I always say no and that's usually the basis of our conversations; they try and get it and don't so they try harder and they still don't. I have respect for myself which is why I don't give it up - but guys always try and get it. My current boyfriend doesn't particularly want it and so for me it's something new because I don't know his gameplan. Think of it as troubled-misled-girl-from-the-hood meets smart-ambitious-mr-right because although it isn't that extreme, it is very similar

I can't talk to him about it because I don't want to point out what's bad about me and put him off. My friends don't understand. They think I should just enjoy the happiness and stop thinking of ways that I'm not good enough. I don't want him to get bored and leave me for someone who is on his wave-length, if that makes sense?

Can anyone help me?

[Heratriumphant]

The quickest way to bore someone is to obsess on your unworthiness.

If you have self esteem issues that's something YOU need to deal with apart from your BF. It has nothing to do with him.

[MzConfused]

I know; that's why I don't want to tell him. I know I don't have self-esteem which is something I need to work on - how to do that is what I need help with? xx

[CocoChanel]

This is awkward giving advice to someone who I can relate to because I feel and have felt... sometimes still do feel the same way that you do. The best way to deal is to remember the reasons why he feel for you... it because of you... the way you are. So learn to accept yourself for who you are and find things to get into and learn from that will just add-on to who you are now. Don't feel like there is something you need to change. If he isn't contributing to your insecurities... what's wrong with ya? Nada

[MzConfused]

thank you CocoChanel.x

[CocoChanel]

Your welcome. And just because you two may be different in that aspect... there are things he can still learn from you and things you can learn from him. Trust me, if you both couldn't learn and bond from one another your relationship would be boring. Some guys even think its cute when they feel like they are teaching you something new. It boosts their ego.

Sometimes... even if I knew something I would act as if I didn't and ask him to show me and explain it... and he would get this big goofy grin on his face and go all out to show me. LOL!

[MzConfused]

loooool that sounds like a good plan I guess you're right I do learn alot from him, I just hope it's something he likes thank you.x

[shheadz]

CoCo is right. He already likes you the way you are. Just roll with it.

[MzConfused]

thanks very much guys xx