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Thread: Should I stop chasing this girl? HELP

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Should I stop chasing this girl? HELP

    I just saw a girl last night who I've asked out months before, but then she said she was seeing someone. However, we hung out last night b/c out of the blues she asked me if she wanted to hang out. I had decided to move away from her, but I thought this might have been a signal that she wanted to give a relationship or dating thing one more chance.

    Well, last night she still told me she was seeing her boyfriend, and after I brought the dating/relationship thing again, she said she only wanted to be friends and that she never thought a relationship between us was going to work out. Now, I believe I did as much as I could have done last night given the circumstances, and I pretty much straight up told her that I didn't want to be in her "friend circle" if we were never gonna date.

    So I'm now thinking to myself. Is it possible she wanted me to directly hit on her physically? I'm not that type of person who touches girls here and there, hugs them for no reason, if I know they don't really like me. Nevertheless, maybe that's how I feel, but I felt that if she didn't like me as a potential date wrapping my arms around her shoulders etc... would have only irritated her and made me look desperate. I am willing to move on but find this very difficult given I still have feelings for her.

    Nevertheless, time will tell I guess.

    Would appreciate any feedback.

  2. #2
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    No, she didn't want you to make a move physically on her. If she wanted that, she wouldn't have told you that she only wanted to be friends with you. You are not friend-zoned with her, she just doesn't feel anything romantic towards you.

    It isn't the end of the world. Look for other people as potential dating partners. And if you don't want to be friends with this one, then don't.

    Whatever you do, stop overthinking it. If you had made a move on her, things would have gone much, much worse.

    Good luck.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by bythecliff View Post
    I just saw a girl last night who I've asked out months before, but then she said she was seeing someone. However, we hung out last night b/c out of the blues she asked me if she wanted to hang out. I had decided to move away from her, but I thought this might have been a signal that she wanted to give a relationship or dating thing one more chance.

    Well, last night she still told me she was seeing her boyfriend, and after I brought the dating/relationship thing again, she said she only wanted to be friends and that she never thought a relationship between us was going to work out. Now, I believe I did as much as I could have done last night given the circumstances, and I pretty much straight up told her that I didn't want to be in her "friend circle" if we were never gonna date.

    So I'm now thinking to myself. Is it possible she wanted me to directly hit on her physically? I'm not that type of person who touches girls here and there, hugs them for no reason, if I know they don't really like me. Nevertheless, maybe that's how I feel, but I felt that if she didn't like me as a potential date wrapping my arms around her shoulders etc... would have only irritated her and made me look desperate. I am willing to move on but find this very difficult given I still have feelings for her.

    Nevertheless, time will tell I guess.

    Would appreciate any feedback.
    Yes, you should stop it immediately. Even though the majority of women will say you shouldn't.

    I'm proud of you for telling her that you don't want to be friends with her. That's what I should have said dozens of times before. Instead I gave in, played the friend and got in serious emotional sh!t. I'm glad I learned from that mistake

    Shut down the attention crane immediately and make it very clear that you will not run after her. If you do run after her, she has what she wants and you have exactly 0% chance of having her. Because it seems desperate. She gave negative signals and giving in would mean you value her more than you value yourself

    She is constantly BSing about the boyfriend to test you. Do not give in. Leave and especially don't give the impression that it affects you.
    Because she wants it to affect you and therefore she is testing you

    You did a great job telling her you don't want to be friends. Bravo.
    Now keep a distance and instantly stop seeing her. No calls, no texts, nothing.
    If she starts coming back, fine, you have a chance.
    If she doesn't, it's over and it means you never had a chance in the first place. But at least you saved some face
    If you run after her now, you're done anyway. Period

    Up to the next one I'd say

    " I still have feelings for her "
    Yea I know that feeling. The feelings come from your underpants.
    She wouldn't BS about an other guy if she is a genuine person.
    She's either trying to trick you or she really means she doesn't want to be lovers. Either one

    Back off now and make it clear that you don't need her. See what she does after 2 weeks and keep us posted
    Last edited by MynameisJesus; 25-06-11 at 03:10 AM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    The answer to your original question of "Should I stop chasing this girl?", is always YES. In your particular situation or in any other situation, do not chase women...that's when they run.

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