Need some advise...

[JMWolf]

Hi everyone ,

I am having a problem that its getting me confused on what to do!


I have a girlfriend for 13 years and never but never went out or stayed with any other woman during that time,
10 years ago I moved to a different country and started working in a new job, in this new place I started working
I have meet a coworker girl and for her and for me was the immediate spark and attraction but we didn't ever
even talked about it, we knew it was there and we avoided situations that could lead to any possible relation like
going out or going to her place or being alone somewhere together...She knew I have a girlfriend so we avoided
this situations cause we knew that if we don't something would happen...

For the past 8 years I have been working with her every day, and the fire still is there and the situation remained like
that until 6 months ago, for the past 4 years also my girlfriend got promoted in her job and now spends a lot less time
at home since it is always traveling, I am alone 11 of the 12 moths of the year and we (me and GF) see each other maybe 40 days a year except on Christmas and new years eve that we are together...

going now back 6 moths ago when all of a sudden me and my Jobs friend started a relation based on sex, we spend lots of time together she says its what she needs cause she doesn't want any steady relationship and cause she is very attracted to me,
, we are doing our sex moments for 6 months and its like we are animals some times, in fact we are so well on this that she says to me its the best she had and I say the same, we connect in a different level that I thought it was gone on me ...but, now after this time she started talking about more time for her, we have an agreement that we would tell everything to each other and that if she wanted another guy ever or being with another guy she would tell me and I would give her life back and her space I was the one that told her that, cause its only fair and just from my side, but now she asks me her space, and I ask is there someone, and she always says no but she needs space, she tells me , that a guy that is the company doctor has been inviting her to go out, and if that happens if there is a problem with me, I ask if she likes the guy, she tell me no , we both know that the guy is always searching for sex only, and always wanted her for that she knows that and she knows that once he gets that will forget her, but still she asks me if it happens the sex with him if would be a problem for me....

...My first reaction was to ask why she wanted sex with another guy, if its not a relation that she wants with him and says that sex with me is so great why that with this guy?!

she says its just a question, that nothing like that is going to happen for now with no one cause she is great with the sex we have but still ask me for her own space...


I am getting distance, and told her that didn't understood the reason for sex with other guys, that I would understand if she ever wants a steady relationship with someone but that I do not understand the need for sex with other possible guys that can pop up in her life, and that if she wants that maybe its time to really go in different direction and give her all the space she needs , she says she doesn't want that, she doesn't want to loose what we have but still needs her space,I said that I could not feel easy with that situation of her sex life with casual guy and so if she needs the space it is time for a separation and end up this that we have together, that it is not fair for both of us, and that this way she could do what ever she wanted without any problems, she doesn't want that, she wants to keep the relation we have...in my view she wants all the parts of the cake
and just go for other cake when she wants knowing that she haves me (the cake) there for good sex and great time...

In resume she wants the sexual relation we have without commitment and at the same time if meets another guy and like him go to bed with him also and keep me for sex....so she asks me Free space...but experience has teaches me that when a woman asks for space is that know or have something going on with another guy and knows that something is about to happen between them...

Please give me some advise on this people,

should I move away and give her space
or what should I do...

[oldskool83]

your gone too much, people get lonely...you want to stop make sure your around all the time...13 years...maybes shes seeing your not ever gonna ask the big word?

[JMWolf]

TY for the reply mate,

either I have explained me badly or you didn't get the all picture bro,
I have a steady relationship for 13 years with my girlfriend and a second
relationship with a coworker girl that started 5 months ago, the problem is
with my second relation with the coworker lover....


With my steady relation I have huge separations and we see each other few times due to her traveling work... during the time she is working in other country's and places I have a second relation that started based on sex...

with my sex relation with the second girl we are having this problem that she thinks she needs more free space for herself
and the thing that she asks me what could happen to sex relation if she meets other guys that can pop up in her life,
she asks this cause she loves the time with me, but asks this and if we could end our meetings if she find other guys and something happens ,
she is always asking me this cause she says she doesn't want to loose what we have ....


The problem is that I started feeling things for this second girl, Things that were not supposed to appear but for me it is not just sex anymore ,
I know that she feels something more then just the sex for me also, but we are in a different level on that stage, so she keeps asking me if we will loose this
sex meetings ( that are nor only sex anymore) if she goes out with other guys and something involving sex with them happens....


And this really hurts me now, it was not supposed to, but it hurts just thinking of the idea that she could get with other guys, I know it is not fair and its selfish from
my part to feel this cause she is with me knowing that I have a steady relation with another woman but I am wondering what this constant questions of hypothetical
relation with other guys if it appears can mean....